Horse Semen, the New Red Bull? lol

A General Discussion forum for cars and other topics, and a great place to introduce yourself if you are new to NICO!
User avatar
Ranga14
Posts: 1864
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2008 5:52 am
Car: Boosted 08 Altima Coupe 3.5
Contact:

Post

Who's down for shots?

http://blogs.menshealth.com/health-head ... menRedBull
Do you wish you could possess the power of this strong, mighty stallion, vigorously running in an open pasture with unbounded sexual energy?

Then all you have to do is drink his semen.

At least that’s what the folks behind the Hokitika Wildfoods festival in New Zealand say. They’re offering up $10 shots of horse semen to curious—neigh, insane—festivalgoers hoping to get a boost of energy from a so-called delicacy. And because consuming regular-old semen would just be boring, these shots come spiked with flavors like cherry and licorice. Which does prove one thing: There is something more disgusting than this medical procedure.

Lindsay Kerslake, the Australian breeder who got the idea to serve his stallions’ semen shots at the festival, told The Australian that “horses are pure testosterone—they have hardly any cholesterol, so the idea is you knock it back and feel like a stallion yourself.” And then, the best quote: “You’ll have as much zizz as a stallion for a week afterwards.”

While we’ll leave you to debate just what exactly “zizz” means—and contemplate the exact circumstances you’d have to face to even think about taking a shot—Mike Keenan, the organizer of the festival, gives us the semen scoop. “I think it’s just a joke to be honest,” Keenan says. “Because the horse is such a big creature, I dare say that people love to spread rumors that the semen will be as good as Viagra. It’s all rather tongue-in-cheek.”

Not that Keenan minds the rumors. The 22-year old festival has featured strange feasts like ostrich pie, worm sushi, and wasp ice cream, but Hokitika’s never had this kind of international media attention before, Keenan says. “Semen has caught the world’s imagination!”

We’ll say. A couple years ago we saw Johnny Knoxville and his Jackass gang drink equine sperm in a vomit-inducing stunt, but now that people overseas are willingly swigging the stuff, we wonder: Could it actually work?

Maybe, according to Patrick Meyers, DVM, a horse reproduction specialist and breeder from Ontario. (We’re sorry we asked . . .) There’s a testicular hormone in high concentrations of semen called DHEA, which some athletes use to boost their athletic performance, Meyers says. And a 2006 study found that men over 65 who took DHEA supplements saw a significant increase in their testosterone levels. But beware—it’s also possible for DHEA to actually increase guys’ estrogen levels, according to Meyers. (Speaking of men-threatening foods, read why soy might be the most dangerous food for guys.)

If you needed another reason why this might not be such a great idea, Meyers says that sometimes horses carry a nasty virus called equine viral arteritis in their semen. “I’m not sure if it has any effect in humans, since it’s digested and destroyed in the stomach, but there’s lots of potential here for things to go wrong,” he says.

And lastly, don’t forget that you’d probably be swallowing little horse babies with every mouthful you take. Meyers ships off his stallions’ sperm to mares all over the U.S. and Canada, and says that sperm can be preserved for up to 36 hours if it’s placed in a milk-based extender. That’s likely how the semen shots will be stored until they’re served at Hokitika, which opens March 12.

Listen, it’s your prerogative to drink horse semen. (As Meyers says, “We might find a new market for our product!”) But there are plenty of other—read: normal—ways to boost your testosterone. Want to tap into your secret source of sexual stamina, energy, and drive? Check out 5 Easy Ways to Increase Your Manpower and how to maintain your T-levels. (And there’s a brand-new testosterone drug called Fortesta that just hit pharmacies.)

And to our brave Kiwi friends about to do what few have done before, we say good luck—and Godspeed.


User avatar
Jesda
Posts: 39644
Joined: Mon May 05, 2003 1:50 pm
Location: STL, DTW
Contact:

Post

Could one of the gays chime in on this?

User avatar
Razi
Posts: 28373
Joined: Sun Dec 31, 2006 9:52 am
Car: Moo

Post

Tyler is pretty busy lately though.

User avatar
darens13
Posts: 1317
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2007 6:30 pm
Car: '93 240sx, '90 chevy 1500, '49 dodge pickup

Post

:eek:

User avatar
themadscientist
Posts: 26254
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2002 3:30 pm
Car: R32 GTR, DR30 RS Turbo, BRZ, Lunchbox, NSR50 Sportster 883 Iron
Location: Staring down at you with disdain from the spooky mountaintop castle.

Post

The ladies in my pron collection seem to like it. Will it mix a decent Agent Orange?

User avatar
drksolest
Posts: 10648
Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:01 am
Car: '91 Nissan 240SX coupe
Location: Elkhart, Indiana
Contact:

Post

Image

User avatar
snwbrdr435
Posts: 12721
Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2007 7:07 am
Car: 85 VW Westfalia, CBR F4i, SV650s, 1988 Honda Hawk(race)
Location: People's Republic of MA
Contact:

Post

Razi wrote:Tyler is pretty busy lately though.
Of course he is How do you think the folks in New Zealand got a stockpile of the horse seaman.

User avatar
Encryptshun
Posts: 11309
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2007 7:48 am
Car: 2005 Nissan Xterra
Location: Outside Chicago
Contact:

Post

Their tagline should read:

Why get wings when you can get spunk?

User avatar
sx moneypit
Posts: 8911
Joined: Wed Aug 26, 2009 2:54 am
Car: 2010 Nissan 370Z
1986 Toyota MR2
Location: Memphis,Tn.

Post

:chuckle:

User avatar
Speckid4
Posts: 308
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 7:56 pm
Car: 1995 240sx
1993 240sx
Location: Olathe, KS

Post

I didn't know nala was austrailian

turbonxsx

Post

:whistle: :whistle:

User avatar
themadscientist
Posts: 26254
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2002 3:30 pm
Car: R32 GTR, DR30 RS Turbo, BRZ, Lunchbox, NSR50 Sportster 883 Iron
Location: Staring down at you with disdain from the spooky mountaintop castle.

Post

Encryptshun wrote:Their tagline should read:

Why get wings when you can get spunk?
We are in the presence of marketing genious. :rotflmao

User avatar
Speckid4
Posts: 308
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 7:56 pm
Car: 1995 240sx
1993 240sx
Location: Olathe, KS

Post

whos gunna pay the money to run it through the FDA's tests?

User avatar
orangeNblue
Posts: 1077
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:44 pm
Car: 2008 Nissan 350z

Post

He must really love his horses...seeing as how it was his idea and he was probably the first test subject.

User avatar
themadscientist
Posts: 26254
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2002 3:30 pm
Car: R32 GTR, DR30 RS Turbo, BRZ, Lunchbox, NSR50 Sportster 883 Iron
Location: Staring down at you with disdain from the spooky mountaintop castle.

Post

Anybody stepped up to order "on tap."

Image

User avatar
sbird1
Posts: 6211
Joined: Sat Nov 05, 2005 8:47 am
Car: 2006 BMW 325i
Location: Savannah, GA

Post

I've been know to say that "I'll try anything once".... this seems to be one of the few exceptions along with heroin and buttsechs.

User avatar
Jesda
Posts: 39644
Joined: Mon May 05, 2003 1:50 pm
Location: STL, DTW
Contact:

Post

Guess who just ordered a horse costume?

<- THIS GUY.


Image

User avatar
s0m3th1ngAZ
Posts: 3856
Joined: Fri Mar 25, 2005 10:11 am
Car: 96' Miata
2014 Focus ST

Post

themadscientist wrote:Anybody stepped up to order "on tap."

Image
That is an a** sir...are you trying to rip me off?

User avatar
themadscientist
Posts: 26254
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2002 3:30 pm
Car: R32 GTR, DR30 RS Turbo, BRZ, Lunchbox, NSR50 Sportster 883 Iron
Location: Staring down at you with disdain from the spooky mountaintop castle.

Post

Hey, Kelly can be a guy's name too! :gotme

User avatar
themadscientist
Posts: 26254
Joined: Tue Nov 12, 2002 3:30 pm
Car: R32 GTR, DR30 RS Turbo, BRZ, Lunchbox, NSR50 Sportster 883 Iron
Location: Staring down at you with disdain from the spooky mountaintop castle.

Post

Horse semen, what better to wash down those camel balls?

Image

User avatar
Speckid4
Posts: 308
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 7:56 pm
Car: 1995 240sx
1993 240sx
Location: Olathe, KS

Post

^^^^^^ bahahaha wtf!? ^^^^^^


Return to “General Chat”