HELP! Need some opinions. Friend involved in a hit & run

[EvillE423]

I was laying in the bed watching TV and I heard a noise that almost sounded like someone was jumping off a manual car, it's just a distinct sound. We've had a couple of days of thunderstorms so my window has been open, so I could hear it especially well. I jumped up and looked out the window, at first I thought someone was stealing my car, (I live in a condo) and I noticed it was one of my friends. When they pulled out of the parking lot, they had backed into a car and collapsed the door. I called him and told him and he swore up and down that they didn't hit anything, after me telling him that I heard it and there is now a huge dent in the door. It's my neighbors car and they are really good, friendly people. I want to tell them who done it so they don't have to pay to have it fixed. I don't know if their insurance would cover someone else doing it or not. But I also don't want to do that to a friend. So, I'm kinda stuck between a rock and a hard place. What should I do guys?

[dre1507]

Spike Lee says "Friends don't let friends be criminals!"

[rc1honda]

Either, lose a friend or the let the neighbors be none the wiser. Depends how much this guy is your "friend". If you would just as soon be rid of him then tell the neighbors and because it's the right thing to do. If you value your friendship then keep your mouth shut.

Someone hit and run on me and it did cost me my 500 dollar deductible but my rates didn't go up as it wasn't counted as accident. So really at worst your neighbors will only have to pay their deductible and that's it. But all of this at the cost of your conscious.

Tell your buddie to take 500 bucks cash and throw in the mailbox. Problem solved. It's not the right thing to do, but i wouldn't rat out a good friend if i could help it. It's kinda of a scumbag thing to do. I value my friendships more then a piece of plastic and metal though.

So i would probably take the road of the scumbag unfortunately. When it happened to me I was livid. Cost me 500 bucks and devalued my car for trade in. So I have felt your neighbors pain. In this case I would just let it go though.

[bigbadberry3]

Wonder if he would pull the same bull if it had been your car... Would you be mad if the situation was reversed with your neighbors? I'd tell the neighbors hands down.

[breadbox]

Yeah if you neighbors are cool. Why d!ck them over, your friend is dumb.

[C-Kwik]

Either, lose a friend or the let the neighbors be none the wiser. Depends how much this guy is your "friend". If you would just as soon be rid of him then tell the neighbors and because it's the right thing to do. If you value your friendship then keep your mouth shut.

A good friend would not put you in a position to have to make such a decision. So I'd give him the opportunity to let the neighbors know or I would do it. If he isn't willing to do the right thing, I won't plan on keeping him as a friend.

[carloslebaron]

Just forget about it...let it go...and ask to put security cameras surveying the parking lot....

[Dattebayo]

Your friend is an idiot, and unless you're willing to deal with cops and other sh*t, you should just leave it be. It's not really a life-changing decision, tho I wouldn't hang out with your pal anymore either...

[OriginalWheelman]

I would tell the neighbor. It would bother my conscience if I didn't.

[EvillE423]

The girl was over at the girl that lives across from me and I let it slip and told her, so she went and told the neighbor that got hit that I knew. So they came over and talked to me about it and I couldn't lie. When I called my friend and told them they said they didn't hit the car and still to this day swear up and down they didn't hit nothing. They gave her till today to come to them and say she hit it and she never did, so they are involving the cops. I know if I tell them who done it, it will get back to them that I said something to the cops. And I know he's gonna try to beat my a** if he finds out. Do I HAVE to tell the cops what I seen? I mean if they come to my door and ask and I say I don't want to say nothing because I fear for my safety, then what will happen? I'm stuck here and don't know what to do. The girl that lives across from me told them a name, I didn't say anything about who it was, just about the car. So technically, I told them, but didn't at the same time. I just don't want to get involved with the cops, because then she will know I said something. Ugh, why does stuff like this always happen to me?!?!

[Bubba1]

[A good friend would not put you in a position to have to make such a decision. So I'd give him the opportunity to let the neighbors know or I would do it. If he isn't willing to do the right thing, I won't plan on keeping him as a friend.

^This. Put yourself in your neighbors shoes for a moment. How happy would you be for having to spend a $500-$1500 deductible (depends on his policy) just because some worm was too childish to accept responsibility for the damage he did?

[hitbychance]

[A good friend would not put you in a position to have to make such a decision. So I'd give him the opportunity to let the neighbors know or I would do it. If he isn't willing to do the right thing, I won't plan on keeping him as a friend.

^This. Put yourself in your neighbors shoes for a moment. How happy would you be for having to spend a $500-$1500 deductible (depends on his policy) just because some worm was too childish to accept responsibility for the damage he did?

both of these^

If your friend is too much of a child to admit what he or she did at least have the balls to put the deductible in the mail box. The person may find out eventually who hit their car, and i wouldn't want to be your friend once they find out.

[carloslebaron]

The girl was over at the girl that lives across from me and I let it slip and told her, so she went and told the neighbor that got hit that I knew. So they came over and talked to me about it and I couldn't lie. When I called my friend and told them they said they didn't hit the car and still to this day swear up and down they didn't hit nothing. They gave her till today to come to them and say she hit it and she never did, so they are involving the cops. I know if I tell them who done it, it will get back to them that I said something to the cops. And I know he's gonna try to beat my a** if he finds out. Do I HAVE to tell the cops what I seen? I mean if they come to my door and ask and I say I don't want to say nothing because I fear for my safety, then what will happen? I'm stuck here and don't know what to do. The girl that lives across from me told them a name, I didn't say anything about who it was, just about the car. So technically, I told them, but didn't at the same time. I just don't want to get involved with the cops, because then she will know I said something. Ugh, why does stuff like this always happen to me?!?!

Lol
Opening the mouth to spread a gossip will always create problems, and eventually might catch the one who started it...

This is about "street principles" where one of them is "do not get in someone's business when you were never asked to do so..."

A friend of mine who starts to spread out a gossip that I did something wrong...for sure he is not my friend...he is just a person whom no one can trust...

[IBCoupe]

Your friend's a douchebag. If he threatens bodily harm, call the cops yourself.

[themadscientist]

Who you hang out with says a lot about you. You need better friends and you need to drop the dime on this a$$.

[Eddiemac]

This is full of fail. Give your friend some friendly advice. If cops knock on your door, you dont speak, instead you knock on his head for having cops knock on your door. Of course if it were one of my friends, I seriously doubt I would ask the people from the internet how to cope with ignorance. If you need to ask, you probably dont need to know.

[zacmil]

If this guy would really attack you for doing the right thing, he is not a very good friend.

If it were me, I'd tell the "friend" to man up and accept responsibility. If they won't then, yeah, you should definitely tell the cops/neighbor/whoever. A good friend would never have put you in this situation to begin with.

[OriginalWheelman]

Your friend's a douchebag. If he threatens bodily harm, call the cops yourself.

Tell the cops what you saw. This dude sounds like a real winner. He couldn't even man up to you about it. Also, now you got the nice neighbors to worry about if you don't tell the cops what you saw. How long do you think they will be nice if you leave them high and dry. What if they don't have an insurance policy to cover the damage? I don't on the Q. I would be out the full repair cost if this had happened to me.

Could you live with that? Knowing that you put a financial burden on nice people to protect your douche bag friend?

[C-Kwik]

Opening the mouth to spread a gossip will always create problems, and eventually might catch the one who started it...

This is about "street principles" where one of them is "do not get in someone's business when you were never asked to do so..."

A friend of mine who starts to spread out a gossip that I did something wrong...for sure he is not my friend...he is just a person whom no one can trust...

Are you kidding me? I'd trust the person who can make the moral judgement over some "street principle" any day. Why? Because the person who asks me to hide a secret for him will likely be willing to hide a secret from me. Get your priorities straight.

[skydragoness]

Are you kidding me? I'd trust the person who can make the moral judgement over some "street principle" any day. Why? Because the person who asks me to hide a secret for him will likely be willing to hide a secret from me. Get your priorities straight.

x100 Makes you wonder what else they're hiding.
IMO, they're not a friend to me if they can't face a silly mistake like that and do the right thing. If the damage isn't too bad, it's very likely the neighbors (if they are as cool/friendly as OP says they are) are not going to care. If they do, maybe they won't want to get the ins. companies involved anyway. Sounds like a crappy 'friend'

[Dattebayo]

It's not about the "street principal" or whatever, but it should have been about that the OP said he didn't want any drama, so he should have let it slide off.

See, you opened your mouth and brought your own drama. And even the chick who told them isn't a good friend either, because she ratted on you basically.
You need to move or something.

[carloslebaron]

Opening the mouth to spread a gossip will always create problems, and eventually might catch the one who started it...

This is about "street principles" where one of them is "do not get in someone's business when you were never asked to do so..."

A friend of mine who starts to spread out a gossip that I did something wrong...for sure he is not my friend...he is just a person whom no one can trust...

Are you kidding me? I'd trust the person who can make the moral judgement over some "street principle" any day. Why? Because the person who asks me to hide a secret for him will likely be willing to hide a secret from me. Get your priorities straight.

Yes, I know other people who are also happy living in wonderland, but a secret is not a secret when you tell to someone, and what is going on with this "witness"who started this thread, is the crude evidence supporting my point.

Besides, he didn't see the momnent when his friend supposedly hit the nighbor's car... so, I have no idea why he started to run the gossip, excuse me, I mean, "sharing his secret about what he says he saw", with others...

This can be worst, when in several places, "hit and run" is a crime, so the question is, what kind of person will cause "his friend" to go to jail? ...

No one is perfect, everybody has his/her own secrets about their own wrongdoings, and nobody likes the idea that someone is around spreading out what has witnessed... specially when whatever it is, it is not his/her business after all...

My opinion is that "this witness" should have never opened his mouth, and neither write here about what he saw, having the possibility that his thread may be read by someone who may be involved somehow with the incident of that night.

My regards.

[C-Kwik]

Yes, I know other people who are also happy living in wonderland, but a secret is not a secret when you tell to someone, and what is going on with this "witness"who started this thread, is the crude evidence supporting my point.

It wasn't a secret. His friend didn't even tell him. What evidence? Explain your vagueries. Or do you know you're just opening yourself up to looking real stupid by doing so?

Besides, he didn't see the momnent when his friend supposedly hit the nighbor's car... so, I have no idea why he started to run the gossip, excuse me, I mean, "sharing his secret about what he says he saw", with others...

Nope, and that's all the OP can testify to. A judge or jury can decide the credibility (from a legal standpoint). They have the potential suspect. All they need is to take a few measurements and show the damages line up. Plenty of circumstantial evidence if it lines up. May or may not be enough for criminal prosecution (though with such minor charges, a jury isn't going to be afraid to pull the trigger like with more severe crimes), but likely enough to prove the civil case. You might ask yourself if there would have been any reason for the OP to have to keep this "secret" if he just came forward on his own in the first place.

This can be worst, when in several places, "hit and run" is a crime, so the question is, what kind of person will cause "his friend" to go to jail? ...

What kind of person would run after hitting another car? Oh wait...that's right. The kind that should go to jail or be fined. The cause is not the OP. The cause is the person who ran. You're view of responsibility and blame is horribly skewed.

No one is perfect, everybody has his/her own secrets about their own wrongdoings, and nobody likes the idea that someone is around spreading out what has witnessed... specially when whatever it is, it is not his/her business after all...

Noone is perfect, I agree. But that's no reason to avoid responsibility. Its the reason we buy insurance. Its the reason this car accident wasn't a criminal act until he ran.

My opinion is that "this witness" should have never opened his mouth, and neither write here about what he saw, having the possibility that his thread may be read by someone who may be involved somehow with the incident of that night.

Yeah, because doing the right thing is wrong?

My regards.

You apparently have none...

[zacmil]

No one is perfect, everybody has his/her own secrets about their own wrongdoings, and nobody likes the idea that someone is around spreading out what has witnessed... specially when whatever it is, it is not his/her business after all...

My opinion is that "this witness" should have never opened his mouth, and neither write here about what he saw, having the possibility that his thread may be read by someone who may be involved somehow with the incident of that night.

Awesome advice! Remember everyone... next time you witness a crime, don't speak of it to anyone. After all, you wouldn't want the victim to get any sort of justice or anything like that.

Seriously dude, why would you say something like that? How would you feel if you were the person who's car was damaged? Would you say "Wow, the guy who hit my car must have some awesome friends, because they aren't giving him up for anything. Good for him!" For some reason, I don't think you would. Let's take it a step further, by your logic, had the OP's "friend" murdered someone, the OP shouldn't say anything about it because that be getting into someone else's business, could cause his "friend" to go to jail, and violates some sort of perverse "street principles". Seriously dude, that's just wrong.

Even if it meant losing a supposed friend and/or facing retribution from him, I'd tell the cops what happened. I'd rather have a clear conscience.

[szh]

Even if it meant losing a supposed friend and/or facing retribution from him, I'd tell the cops what happened. I'd rather have a clear conscience.

Exactly right.

Z

[carloslebaron]

Awesome advice! Remember everyone... next time you witness a crime, don't speak of it to anyone. After all, you wouldn't want the victim to get any sort of justice or anything like that.

Seriously dude, why would you say something like that? How would you feel if you were the person who's car was damaged? Would you say "Wow, the guy who hit my car must have some awesome friends, because they aren't giving him up for anything. Good for him!" For some reason, I don't think you would. Let's take it a step further, by your logic, had the OP's "friend" murdered someone, the OP shouldn't say anything about it because that be getting into someone else's business, could cause his "friend" to go to jail, and violates some sort of perverse "street principles". Seriously dude, that's just wrong.

Even if it meant losing a supposed friend and/or facing retribution from him, I'd tell the cops what happened. I'd rather have a clear conscience.

Sure you are right, that is why the "righteous witness" who started this thread, came here asking for "advice" if it's right "to tell on not to tell" what he saw that night..by the way, he didn't see the moment of the accident, he is not a witness...

Everybody here is a righteous person, a respectable person with honor...until gets caught...that is the crude reality.

Who is the reader here that has not passed by more than 15 miles the speed limit several times or didn't stop completely at the stop sign, or kept the over change given by mistake by the cashier, or lied about something, etc? Will anyone might present himself to the police station to confess his traffic violation that was witnessed by no one? I don't think so, you will keep it to yourself, and surely you won't want someone pointing the finger on you.

After you passed a red traffic light by distraction, you were happy that "no one saw you", right? You were happy that no one discovered you when you did bad.

In that moment, you "principles" evaporated by miracle, "justice" becomes a word found in the dictionary but won't apply in your case, because you weren't caugh...

So, dude, what a friend does is to talk with the other one, not saying what he witnessed, but saying that cases of hit and run are a crime. After that, it is opt to the faulty person to reconsider. Doing so, you can sleep well, because you did your part.

After all, if you read the bible, you will find out that what I'm telling you...that is exactly what Jesus did...

[zacmil]

by the way, he didn't see the moment of the accident, he is not a witness...

Yes, I do understand that the OP wasn't an actual witness to the accident and he can't say definitively that his friend hit the car. He did, however, see his friend leave, heard a loud crash, and saw his friend next to the damaged car. It's a reasonable assumption that the friend hit the car. The point is that he needs to tell the police what he knows so that they can sort it out.

Everybody here is a righteous person, a respectable person with honor...until gets caught...that is the crude reality.

Who is the reader here that has not passed by more than 15 miles the speed limit several times or didn't stop completely at the stop sign, or kept the over change given by mistake by the cashier, or lied about something, etc? Will anyone might present himself to the police station to confess his traffic violation that was witnessed by no one? I don't think so, you will keep it to yourself, and surely you won't want someone pointing the finger on you.

After you passed a red traffic light by distraction, you were happy that "no one saw you", right? You were happy that no one discovered you when you did bad.

In that moment, you "principles" evaporated by miracle, "justice" becomes a word found in the dictionary but won't apply in your case, because you weren't caugh...

Yes, I do speed regularly and it is against the law. However, unlike the OP's friend, I accept the consequences of my actions.

Of course, it's a little hard to compare the situations you've described with the one the OP is in. As the old metaphor goes, it's a little like comparing apples and oranges. Sure both are fruit, just like speeding and fleeing the scene of an accident are both crimes, but beyond that there isn't much similarity. Driving 60 mph in a 55 or performing a slow-and-go at a stop sign are victim-less crimes (I do, of course, acknowledge that these crimes can result in harm, but that isn't exactly the sort of scenario that you described). Damaging someone else's car and then driving off, however, does cause harm and requires action to correct that wrong.

So, dude, what a friend does is to talk with the other one, not saying what he witnessed, but saying that cases of hit and run are a crime. After that, it is opt to the faulty person to reconsider. Doing so, you can sleep well, because you did your part.

That's what the whole issue is, the OP has already tried to get his friend to accept responsibility for his actions, but the friend refuses to do so.

Also, by your logic the OP's neighbors--a completely innocent party--would be left with the financial burden of repairing the car just because the OP's friend lacked the gumption to own up to his mistake. The OP, however, would be in the clear because he "did his part" and told his friend to own up to it. Like I said: how would you feel if someone did that to your car?

OP, you need to tell the police what happened.