Who is also attempting to win the girl without 1. Killing him. 2. Looking like an *** or 3. threatening him?
This girl who I have become incredibly intimate friends with, has this other guy who thinks that he's got a chance with her. I want to get him out of the picture without violence. Up to now I've been pretty good about not saying anything. But before she left for Boston we all kind of hung out at her house and while there I made sure not to be all over her like I was for the last 4 hours I was there before everyone else. He however had his arm over her shoulder and trying to get some lovin' from her. Course everytime he did this she got up and found some reason to get away from him.
He is still her friend and so she doesn't want to just tell him to piss off, she's not that type of person. So kiddies, how do I get rid of him without the three things up above?
Help me get rid of that guy...
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Kaioshin1982
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nametakennow
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Wow... this is so different, I'm used to hearing this problem from a girl talking about a guy, they always seem to use the "I'll make it obvious by being all over him in front of HER! OMGDUH!" (I had this happen to me recently, sucks to be in the middle of that)
Class, it's incredible to see someone show class. I think you ought to talk to her about it a little more to see if she can come up with a nice way of letting him down. If not, just tell him that you're kinda in the middle of things with her, guys (typically) will just lay off if another guy tells them there's something going on. If he doesn't lay off, he's got issues, so try to see to it that he's not around her when you're around (if you trust her not to mess around with him cause it's easy A)... if that doesn't work, then you subtley make it obvious she's going for you (I dunno, something real light within his view), it's kinda kniving but if he won't take the hint, he won't take the hint. If he's still being dimwitted, make it blatant.
That's kinda confusing, it's hard to explain, one of those things you just kinda have to do a few times to get.
Class, it's incredible to see someone show class. I think you ought to talk to her about it a little more to see if she can come up with a nice way of letting him down. If not, just tell him that you're kinda in the middle of things with her, guys (typically) will just lay off if another guy tells them there's something going on. If he doesn't lay off, he's got issues, so try to see to it that he's not around her when you're around (if you trust her not to mess around with him cause it's easy A)... if that doesn't work, then you subtley make it obvious she's going for you (I dunno, something real light within his view), it's kinda kniving but if he won't take the hint, he won't take the hint. If he's still being dimwitted, make it blatant.
That's kinda confusing, it's hard to explain, one of those things you just kinda have to do a few times to get.
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nametakennow
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Kaioshin1982
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nametakennow
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You can skip over this, since I think NTN summed it up pretty good.
Well, the way I see it, it's her thing to "fix". If she and you either have something going on, or are starting to have something. Then she needs to tell him to back off. Now, it would be best if she did and he listened, but if that doesn't work, you have to let her handle it. If she wants you to help her help him understand that's fine, but if you try to "take over" any self respecting woman is gonna feel like you don't value her ability to control her own life. NTN has a good idea of talking to the guy and let him know you guys have something going, but are keeping it on the downlow as you don't want everyone in you business. If that doesn't work, as they say, we can do things the easy way or the hard way
. The hard way being he gets shut down, the easy way is he just backs off. Which will be better for him, because if things don't work out between you and her, he won't look like a jerk to her for pushing up on her.
Well, the way I see it, it's her thing to "fix". If she and you either have something going on, or are starting to have something. Then she needs to tell him to back off. Now, it would be best if she did and he listened, but if that doesn't work, you have to let her handle it. If she wants you to help her help him understand that's fine, but if you try to "take over" any self respecting woman is gonna feel like you don't value her ability to control her own life. NTN has a good idea of talking to the guy and let him know you guys have something going, but are keeping it on the downlow as you don't want everyone in you business. If that doesn't work, as they say, we can do things the easy way or the hard way
. The hard way being he gets shut down, the easy way is he just backs off. Which will be better for him, because if things don't work out between you and her, he won't look like a jerk to her for pushing up on her.-
nametakennow
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Yeah, that too. Always turn it to his favour (mmm... lessons of Debate Team here). That is, that you ought to tell him "Hey man, if you back off now, if things don't work out you still have a chance, rather than looking like a jerk for pressing on."
Rex is right, she ought to handle it first, but if/when that doesn't work (he sounds like a hard head already if she's not giving him the time of day), go for making it more obvious, he's only screwing himself in the end.
Rex is right, she ought to handle it first, but if/when that doesn't work (he sounds like a hard head already if she's not giving him the time of day), go for making it more obvious, he's only screwing himself in the end.
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nametakennow
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C-Kwik
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Don't worry so much about the other guy. Be secure and confident with her, and put your attention on her and not him. And then let her decide. You can only do what you can, but ultimately she has to decide to want to be with you as well. Rejection is not a big deal. But I guarantee you will regret it more, if you didn't show her how you felt. At least if she rejects you knowing how you feel, you will never wonder what could have been.
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nametakennow
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S13GUY wrote:i didnt read everything so this is what id do:
Ask her out 1st (if you already havent), dont be a procrastinator (sp?). Then start going out with her and then ask her to be your gf. If she says yeah Then when the other guy comes shell say " I got a bf"
Lol, yeah, if she's as great as you say she is, she'll go along with S13GUY here and say she has a bf. However, if she's not, and/or she's too damn nice to just flat out say she has a boyfriend, this doesn't work.
The other problem, of course, is that maybe Sircnay doesn't really want to make it a big, formal, public relationship. Dating is great, bf/gf sucks, IMO, but of course, I'm still a little bitter...
Lemme clarify, unless you really friggin like her, which is possible, the whole boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic sucks, simply because a lot of chicks won't even talk to you if you have a gf, regardless of the motives of either party.
Also, she may not like the idea of having a boyfriend, believe it or not, chicks love being independent often as much as guys, if not moreso. You can't just "ask her out" and "make her your gf." Things have to develop into that. I, personally, think that you ought to be acting basically like a couple before you actually go out and allow the world to know you're a couple, mostly because of the hangups that occur socially when you're part of said couple.
Sorry if I come off bitter, too much drama with women in my life for the past few months. Not to mention that my boss still hasn't ****ing called me, so I didn't end up ordering my BRM today (sorry Greg!), ARRRRRRRRRRRRR!
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dr!ft
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Here's a thought: invite the two of them to a nice walk across a park bridge. Then, while approximately 2/3 to 3/5 of your way across the bridge, knock him out with some choloroform. Finally, use the cement block and rope you brought (you did bring them, right?) and tie this to his left shoe. No, wait. His right shoe. Yeah, that should be good. Anyways, all that's left is asking her to help you life his body over the bridge, because you are to weak and need a girl's help. Next, should come the rewarding **splash**. If this doesn't happen, you screwed up. Most likely, instead of bringing a cement block and piece of rope, you probably brought a jet-pack. See, this isn't good becuase he now has the opportunity to use the jet-pack to escape towards the sky with the woman of your dreams. If this happend, just give up and go get yourself some Wintergreen gum and a thing of Slim Jim. But maybe you forgot to fill up the jet-pack with 300-octane jet fuel. Your "friend" now has quite a heavy load on his back, one that could easily hinder his chance at escaping with your T&A. From thence forth, percede to exit the scene with the lady in your arms. But wait! What if she trips? This might give that greedy bastard a chance to losen the cam-lock on the jet-pack's 5-point harness belt. If this happens, he could possibly catch up to you, becuase you are kind of slow at running. And if the girl trips, you might not notice cause you're too busy escaping. Once you reach your car, she's not there! Oh no! That greedy bastard got her!!Then, take out your SIG and...
Okay, I'll stop. Moral of the story: don't forget to refuel...
Okay, I'll stop.
Moral of the story: don't forget to refuel...HA! Awesome I just got off the phone with her. This part of the conversation is best.
"Laura, I think that we should date because I know that you love me oh so much, and I tolerate you.""Hahaha, okay I think we should too.""But's this is kind of lame over the phone.""Yeah it is.""Okay, I'm goign to fly out to Boston when I can get the monies and then we'll have our lawyers get together and put this all down on paper, okay?" "Awww... how sweet. Alright."
And then she proceeded to cry and tell me how much she loves me and how much she misses me and how much she wants to touch and kiss me.
I totally pwninated her.
"Laura, I think that we should date because I know that you love me oh so much, and I tolerate you.""Hahaha, okay I think we should too.""But's this is kind of lame over the phone.""Yeah it is.""Okay, I'm goign to fly out to Boston when I can get the monies and then we'll have our lawyers get together and put this all down on paper, okay?" "Awww... how sweet. Alright."
And then she proceeded to cry and tell me how much she loves me and how much she misses me and how much she wants to touch and kiss me.
I totally pwninated her.
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nametakennow
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MainEvent212
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