mac , I see you appreciate a good (bad?) joke , us "watercooler-experts" here appreciate the many situations and questions people have - kinda like doing a crossword puzzle for car repair strategy .
In all the posts I saw try the one from amc - the getting a screw driver to "Jam into" lock cylinder - fairly deep ,like at least 1/2 " AND using Visegrips locked on handle - then carefully - slowly use powerful twisting torque in Clockwise direction (probably what a locksmith would resort to , given the "go ahead"). If does'nt work though , key may never fit , you gotta drill next the key's cylinder -something like that , and at this point ,success sort of drops more as each attemp may fail
Now ,of course I'm just focusing on the key -lock and we're not DISMISSING any other aforementioned methods. p.s. Just ask Dr. Evil for the key