Hell is Endothermic!

[Focusedintntions]

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.



One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:



1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?



If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

[Jacko3]

Absolutely marvellous!!!! Excellent thought process mixed with a healthy dose of reality. The student deserves an A+++++.

The kid who wrote that assignment, is one in a million, and the proof he provided cannot be taken lightly. This is where science and religion converges. Science should never be the enemy of religion and religion should never be the enemy of science. They should both work hand-in-hand.

To the kid who wrote that assignment, bravo.

[zozoka1212]

LOL That was awesome.

Loved it. Thanks for shaing.

Wait till Telco reads it. He'll love it too.

zozo

[tollboothwilley]

Haha. Thats awesome!

I love how girls are so in tune with God during sex

[Ar878]

holy balls that was awesome

[SVTCOBRA]

A++

[ldstang50]

I read this sometime last year when I was taking chemistry, I tired like hell to memorize this if it was my xtra credit

[marlin29311]

[toddnos]

I concur with the students grade of A+

[G_whizz]

That's awesome! Some people just have wit!

[kmckis1029]

just great thought process... shows he knows his chemistry... you know something when you can apply it and/or explain it in "lay mans terms"

[smockers83]

I've heard this one a few times over the years. One thing I've always wondered though is why this question was on a chemistry exam and not a physics exam?

Anyone want to come up with an equally awesome rebuttal to defend the opposite?

[Jacko3]

Gas laws are actually rudimentary chemistry topics, under the heading, physical chemistry. Physical chemistry is a branch of chemistry that deals with the physics of reactions. It is a very fun and practical aspect of chemistry which is not interested in reactions, whether organic or inorganic, but in the physics of reactions. I hope this helps.

[smockers83]

So in other words, the physics of chemistry. Kind of like the physics of ______ (insert anything that could be studied in physics). I guess to me it's a branch of physics, in that it focuses on chemistry with physics at the heart of it.

[Jacko3]

Something like that. For example, the difference between profitability and loss in a chemical company can be the difference in time and yield of a certain chemical reaction that produces a specific product. Time can be the difference between a profitable yield and a loss.

So, the volumes, weight, and quantity of the chemicals to be reacted have to be calculated precisely in order to develop specific quantities of a product at particular temperatures and pressure and time. Since we don't always know if the chemical reaction is moving towards completion as determined and designed in a laboratory, all we some times have as indication of the chemical reaction progress is pressure and time and temperature of reaction. The relationship between these variables for certain classes of chemicals and how those variables interact under different circumstances, is what is considered physical chemistry. It is perhaps the most mathematically ladden aspect of chemistry I know. I personally love chemistry and you may sometimes get a hint of chemistry in my conversations.

[BrandAidDesignG35]

That was an interesting write-up, but how did Jacko's mid term end up online?

[Jacko3]

I have no idea

[smockers83]

That was an interesting write-up, but how did Jacko's mid term end up online?

So that's who Teresa is...Jacko's G. All this time I thought it was a girl.

[Beancooker]

Badass!!!

[telcoman]

LOL That was awesome.

Loved it. Thanks for shaing.

Wait till Telco reads it. He'll love it too.

zozo

zozo

I've seen it before but here is another one for ya

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THREE GRANDMAS

Three mischievous old Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by.

One of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, 'We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.'

The old man said, 'There is no way you can do that, you old fools.'

One of the old Grandmas said, 'Sure we can! Just drop your pants and underwear and we'll be able to tell your exact age.'

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.

The Grandmas asked him to turn around and to jump up and down a couple of times.

All three piped up and said, 'You're 87 years old!'

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old guy asked, 'How in the hell did you guess?'

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison,

'We were at your birthday party yesterday!'

Telcoman

[Jacko3]

LOL! Nice!