Heard a great story:

[JESTER]

My side kick here at work was telling me about a call they had the other night. We handle domestics all the time, nothing new. People beat on each other, burn stuff, shoot, stab each other. It's all pretty regular stuff. But we had a new one that I have to say I had never thought of before.

Local couple fighting. They seperate and all seems okay. But what is really going on is the guy is takign an opertunity to plot what he is going to do to her. She decides to get in the tanning bed. And he decides to bungie cord the tanning bed lid down where she cant get out. He finally let her out after baking for an hour.

Not sure how serious she was hurt, but she deffinetly went to the hospital. This along with my guy that got beat up by a deer and peed on (by the deer) now make it official, I have heard it all.

[PantherRacer]

This along with my guy that got beat up by a deer and peed on (by the deer) now make it official, I have heard it all.

You.Are.Lying.

[Mr1der]

that guy needs the crap kicked out of him.

[HashiriyaS14]

This along with my guy that got beat up by a deer and peed on (by the deer) now make it official, I have heard it all.

Hang on, so a deer not only kicked a man's ***, but then it pissed on him afterwards?

That is AWESOME.

[Nick240sx]

NOOOOO WAAAY that deer did that!? if he did that is friggin amazing. but yeah that dude should get his *** handed to him.

[JESTER]

Both of those are very true. I took the call on teh deer. I was cussing like a sailor.

The guy was drunker than me on my nights off, and that is pretty drunk. Guy tells me he is in the woods and cant walk. Has some kind of condition with his feet. But tells me he walked from Hickory to the Propst area (about eight miles or so). He was walking around a school building taking a short cut to where in the hell ever he was going, when a big buck deer attacked him.

Said he came around the corner of the building and this deer see's him and charges him. Starts rearing up and pawwing him, and generally trying to pound him into the ground.

So drunk-o decides to run from him, and darts into the woods. Deer chaces and whacks him a few more times. He tells me he picked up a stick to fight the evil creature off and it turned to saw dust when he tried to hit the deer. Then the deer pied on him and left. He actually asked me, "Hey man, what would make a deer do that, do you think?" Hell I dont know! Probally because your drunk, and he decided tonight was the night he got his revenge on the rednecks for killing his cousin.

He tells me he cant walk to the road. So I have deputies driving down the road with the blue ligths on. When he sees them getting close, he tells me and we send the deputies in to retrieve him. He tells them he cant walk, and they tell him that he is gonna walk, because they sure as hell arent carring his stinking *** out of the woods.

The deputy therises that the deer in fact raped him, but he was too imbarised (sp) to tell us. That guy was enough to get my blood pressure up.

[hannibal]

Poor guy. I'd even be afraid to watch Bambi after that. At least the deer didnt go 10-200, haha.

I feel bad for the lady in the tanning bed. Prolly wasnt the best time to work on her tan though. At a minimum, you couldnt sit and lay down for weeks. She coulda got 1st or 2nd degree burns.

[Florida240sx]

Always go into the woods with a gun of some kind......

[DriftingJesus]

or a friend that runs really slow