HA, not sure what to do here..=\

[The Mic]

Yes well I just came back from Los Angeles, specifically some overpriced lame shopping center call "The Grove" in Beverly Hills. Let me give you the prologue 1st.

Ok so I wake up at around 7ish because I went to sleep pretty early last night. So I pick up my cell to see what time it is and theres a big envelope icon in my cell screen. So I check my voice mail to hear this. [computer generated voice]: WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 27 @ 2:35am "Hey Mike, its me(I hate deciphering voices); I know we have had our differences on some issues but I really would like to talk about us today. Please call me back, its important." So after I solve the case of the anonymous caller, I called my gf. She says she wants to meet at the grove for breakfast. It was a fair compromise, since she was coming from Van Nuys. So I agreed to meet at 10 am. So we meet and start with breakfast and blah blah about "Why are you going to London? I thought we agreed you wouldn't go!." and "Your such a selfish prick! Don't you think about how I feel?!"

These are things I already explained a bajillion times beforehand, but in her warped way of thinking, she probably must think I'm going to cave if she keeps at it. Well she kept spewing those kinds of things at me while I was eating my ham & cheese omlet. Then comes the big one. "Mike, I think we need a break". I'm like "Why do you want a break?". Then shes like "Because I don't think it's fair for you to go have fun for 7 mos while I'm stuck here, I wont be able to see you till August!" "All of my friends would tell me to move on, and I can level with them" "If you go, I think I should just move and". then I said "Are you giving me an ultimatum babe?, because it sure sounds like one". Before She spoke again I just said "You know what, I won't have any damn ultimatums put to me. And as far that break goes that you mentioned, lets make it permanent, enjoy your free time because I will definetly enjoy mine."

cool! just like kevin costner in JFK!. but not so cool i think is when I asked for the check and left. she kept saying. "mike what are you doing?" I just left , kind of upset and disappointed she would get like that over a trip I'm taking FOR SCHOOL!. I just finished talking to one of my best friends, and she says to go back to her and apologize. I'm not going to do that of course, but I am starting to feel remorse, I did like this chic a lot, not love, LIKE!(I think it's kind of immature to hand out I love you's to every gf, and she was the 1st to accept that) but then, I would have to not go to London. And no way am i giving that up. Negotiations have broken down, doesn't look like she'll budge. think I did well guys & chics?
Modified by S13GUY at 2:20 PM 10/27/2004

[Zydeco]

your only thing about your self? screw her, move on. go find some english girl who will be much better. travleing is the best thing some one can do for thme selfs. anyways whats 7 months in a life span? not too much.

[Ace 2.0]

i would have done the same,dont feel bad and have fun in london!!

[vicki]

Three things:

1. Your girlfriend is really immature and needs to grow up. She's the one being a selfish prick. You going to London will expand your already vast horizons and help you grow as a person. If she's dumb enough not to accept and appreciate that you want to be a better person, then she needs to be shown the door.

2. I don't think it's the guy's responsibility to apologize for something he didn't do wrong. I think it's BS how girls always expect the guys to cave and compromise. If I know I screwed up, then I'd be inclined to initiate the apology and talk things out.

3. Don't feel guilty about ending things. She is the one who initiated the "I need a break" talk and from personal experiences, that means, I want to screw other guys while you're away for seven months but don't want to feel like I'm cheating on you.

So overall, you made the right decision and don't turn back. Any person who cannot support your growth as an individual and is that needy that they cannot go seven months without seeing you every day is just going to drag you down in life.

[BaliLover]

I wouldn't stay in a relationship if my partner was leaving the country for 7 mos.

I spent 3 months alone and was completely miserable, I was single at the time so at least I could still date, but 3 months alone really sucked. I couldn't deal with 7 mos, call me selfish, but I'd rather be single and free to do my own thing, than dating someone who isn't around.

I'm a bit odd though, I don't date anyone long term if I don't think I'd want to spend my life with them. If I think I want to spend my life with them, I will give up things like ski trips now if she can't go, because I know later in our lives we could go together.

[vicki]

I don't date people who expect things to get long term. I guess I'm weird in that sense. Going into a relationship with expectations is a very dangerous thing. When one person feels one way and the other doesnt feel the same, that leaves room for hurt feelings, fear, and awkwardness. I think it's absolutely stupid to give up the things you love, i.e. ski trips, studying abroad, etc. just because your sig other can't be there. You're not going to die if you do something apart. If anything, it's a LOT healthier for the relationship. My $.02

[The Mic]

YAY!! screw her! LONDON HERE I COME =D

[silkk]

w00t!

[HongKongChick]

I don't date people who expect things to get long term. I guess I'm weird in that sense. Going into a relationship with expectations is a very dangerous thing. When one person feels one way and the other doesnt feel the same, that leaves room for hurt feelings, fear, and awkwardness. I think it's absolutely stupid to give up the things you love, i.e. ski trips, studying abroad, etc. just because your sig other can't be there. You're not going to die if you do something apart. If anything, it's a LOT healthier for the relationship. My $.02

girl, totallly agreed!

i had problems with my current bf before about these expectations. and once i found out that was what that had us fighting all the time, we fixed it!

[Looneybomber]

Ok here is some good advise.

Be selfish, but be tactful about it. Here is why. You are the only person in the world you are going to be with for your entire life, guaranteed.You can always rely on yourself and you will never let yourself down.You are 100% trustworthy.

That being said, your family should always be there, but accidents do happen and if the unfortunate does happen and you lose a family member, they wont be able to help you out or be there for you. So you do what is best for you or you will always have the thoughts of "what if". For example, you skip London and stay with your girl. You will always think "what if i had gone to london, what would my life be like"

[EZcheese15]

YAY!! screw her! LONDON HERE I COME =D

Hey man, when you going to London? You should give me a call when you get here, we can meet up or something.

[Drift Machine]

Yeah screw dat ho! w00t 1 mor perzon livin in me time area!

But seriously don't worry about her, once you get here you will be having the time of your life. We should have a London NICO meet, I wouldn't mind flying becuae it's only like 20 euros from Dublin to London.

[GoinBoostYey]

Three things:

1. Your girlfriend is really immature and needs to grow up. She's the one being a selfish prick. You going to London will expand your already vast horizons and help you grow as a person. If she's dumb enough not to accept and appreciate that you want to be a better person, then she needs to be shown the door.

2. I don't think it's the guy's responsibility to apologize for something he didn't do wrong. I think it's BS how girls always expect the guys to cave and compromise. If I know I screwed up, then I'd be inclined to initiate the apology and talk things out.

3. Don't feel guilty about ending things. She is the one who initiated the "I need a break" talk and from personal experiences, that means, I want to screw other guys while you're away for seven months but don't want to feel like I'm cheating on you.

So overall, you made the right decision and don't turn back. Any person who cannot support your growth as an individual and is that needy that they cannot go seven months without seeing you every day is just going to drag you down in life.

I agree 100% with what Vicki is saying, ive been in a similar situation, My brother lives in Cali and I havnt seen him in like 3 years, so I went out there for 1 month to visit and my ex g/f got mad I wouldnt pay for her to go with me(at the time the ex and I had been together 1month) So she started acting all crazy and she actually vadalized(sp?) stuff of mine and my familys.

[EZcheese15]

Yeah screw dat ho! w00t 1 mor perzon livin in me time area!

But seriously don't worry about her, once you get here you will be having the time of your life. We should have a London NICO meet, I wouldn't mind flying becuae it's only like 20 euros from Dublin to London.

Hey man, I'd meet up in Dublin. Like you said, I think it's only like £15 or £20 for a plane ticket. I'd meet up with you, especially if we have somebody else moving over here.

[vicki]

I agree 100% with what Vicki is saying, ive been in a similar situation, My brother lives in Cali and I havnt seen him in like 3 years, so I went out there for 1 month to visit and my ex g/f got mad I wouldnt pay for her to go with me(at the time the ex and I had been together 1month) So she started acting all crazy and she actually vadalized(sp?) stuff of mine and my familys.

Woah. What a crazy *****. Someone needs to smack her around a bit and put her *** in place. How did you retaliate and did you make her pay for damages?

[AZhitman]

Vicki, your first post in this thread was perfect. My thoughts exactly.

Mike, nice work. Major HITMAN points for the walkout.

[The Mic]

Hey thanks for the feedback guys, really. Here at home I'm getting hammered phone call after phone call from her friends and stuff telling me how much of a selfish *** I am being. HA!~ selfish? me!? lol. I had to turn off my cell phone due to excessive minutes, and I didn't want to be talking to these a$$ too. Anyways, It's nice how things work out. Some chic asked to hang out with me to talk and stuff after my psych(sp?) class, no reason really because I dont know her, just seen her a few times in class. shes not smokin hot, but a looker. Got her number too =D.

Oh yeah and I'll be there come February EZcheeese, I'll be staying in Kensington. I think you said you were just for for a short while though??

[EZcheese15]

Oh yeah and I'll be there come February EZcheeese, I'll be staying in Kensington. I think you said you were just for for a short while though??

Depends on whether or not I get this one job I interviewed for.

[fiznat]

I dont see anything wrong with wanting a break. From what you said it kinda seems like you flipped out when she suggested that maybe you two should break up for at least the duration of the trip --- it seems reasonable to me though. 7 months is a long time, especially for someone our age.

Besides dude-- when in rome, do the romans!(well, londonites I guess-- but you get the point.)

[Altiman94]

well done my friend. You dont need to take any ultimatums from a chick. Enjoy your stay in England and have some fun. Plenty of time to find chicks.