The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for a month is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Guys rules that women should understand
-
Importroller
- Posts: 1135
- Joined: Sat Oct 26, 2002 10:12 am
- Car: G35 and 07 Altima 3.5 6spd
- Location: san diego
- Contact:
-
Kaioshin1982
- Posts: 1738
- Joined: Wed Jan 29, 2003 4:55 pm
- Car: Not a 240 =) Thinking of getting one again...
-
Importroller
- Posts: 1135
- Joined: Sat Oct 26, 2002 10:12 am
- Car: G35 and 07 Altima 3.5 6spd
- Location: san diego
- Contact:
-
Importroller
- Posts: 1135
- Joined: Sat Oct 26, 2002 10:12 am
- Car: G35 and 07 Altima 3.5 6spd
- Location: san diego
- Contact:
courtesy of my fiance:1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. You are a big boy and if you do not complain about it down, then pick it up.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Sale shopping. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Shopping is not a sport. It is a relaxation and we don't give a f... of what you think about it.
1. Crying is blackmail. Crying is at least something that works to let the guy know he screws things up.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Finally, guys acknowlege their stupidess of having a need to know everything straight up their head.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. If you do not have enough brains to add up something to that yes or no.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Sympathy is what everyone needs from time to time. We just have enough guts to admit that we need it from those close to our hearts too, not just friends.
1. A headache that lasts for a month is a problem. See a doctor. A headache that lasts for a month is a problem. Break up with your guy and find one who'd never give you one!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. Fine with us, but the same rule goes for you all too, with remembering all this little times when we hurt your feelings.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. And what if we'll dress like Victoria's Secrets girls? Anyway, do not complain when we get all worked upt about other guys acting like opera guys
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. If you think you do not have muscles do not as us either, 'cause probably you don't. And if a skinny girl says that about herself, that is probably because there is no more of the "obvious hints" to make guys praise our bodies.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. If you going to say something that can be interrupted two ways, think first! Because being on our place, there is a 100% chance you'd have interpreted it the bad way too.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. There is a thing called: "put your macho personallity behind" and listen to some instructions. If we know how we want it to be done, doesn't mean we'd do it, somebody needs to manage
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Whenever possible, please realize there is a whole world out there besides the TV, and we are a great part of it that can easily go away.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. Christopher Columbus simply got lucky, and even if he did not, he screwed up the life of Native Americans forever. You do NEED directions.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. Thank you for a admitting second time of your abilities' little capacity.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. meaning animals or you talking about guys?
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. Exactly, we know it isn't worth the hassle to explan like usual, you didn't get what was wrong, so we say "nothing"!
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. This one is true. Either don't ask, or have enough guts to hear the answer. Same goes for guys.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. In that case, it is only "fine" on the background of you wearing something retarded looking.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. We are prepared to discuss that, the question is, are you capable of saying something more then yes or no, and are you capable of describing your thoughts in more then 16 colors!?
1. You have enough clothes. You have enough car parts to make it run .
1. You have too many shoes. You have too many car magazines (or whatever it is you collect)
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Aparently not enough of a shape to keep us turned on and craving you.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Thank you for reading my responses. You do have to sleep on the couch, but it's like a penthouse having all the bed only for me!
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Sale shopping. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. Shopping is not a sport. It is a relaxation and we don't give a f... of what you think about it.
1. Crying is blackmail. Crying is at least something that works to let the guy know he screws things up.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Finally, guys acknowlege their stupidess of having a need to know everything straight up their head.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. If you do not have enough brains to add up something to that yes or no.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Sympathy is what everyone needs from time to time. We just have enough guts to admit that we need it from those close to our hearts too, not just friends.
1. A headache that lasts for a month is a problem. See a doctor. A headache that lasts for a month is a problem. Break up with your guy and find one who'd never give you one!
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. Fine with us, but the same rule goes for you all too, with remembering all this little times when we hurt your feelings.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. And what if we'll dress like Victoria's Secrets girls? Anyway, do not complain when we get all worked upt about other guys acting like opera guys
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. If you think you do not have muscles do not as us either, 'cause probably you don't. And if a skinny girl says that about herself, that is probably because there is no more of the "obvious hints" to make guys praise our bodies.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. If you going to say something that can be interrupted two ways, think first! Because being on our place, there is a 100% chance you'd have interpreted it the bad way too.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. There is a thing called: "put your macho personallity behind" and listen to some instructions. If we know how we want it to be done, doesn't mean we'd do it, somebody needs to manage
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Whenever possible, please realize there is a whole world out there besides the TV, and we are a great part of it that can easily go away.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. Christopher Columbus simply got lucky, and even if he did not, he screwed up the life of Native Americans forever. You do NEED directions.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. Thank you for a admitting second time of your abilities' little capacity.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. meaning animals or you talking about guys?
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. Exactly, we know it isn't worth the hassle to explan like usual, you didn't get what was wrong, so we say "nothing"!
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. This one is true. Either don't ask, or have enough guts to hear the answer. Same goes for guys.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. In that case, it is only "fine" on the background of you wearing something retarded looking.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. We are prepared to discuss that, the question is, are you capable of saying something more then yes or no, and are you capable of describing your thoughts in more then 16 colors!?
1. You have enough clothes. You have enough car parts to make it run .
1. You have too many shoes. You have too many car magazines (or whatever it is you collect)
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Aparently not enough of a shape to keep us turned on and craving you.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. Thank you for reading my responses. You do have to sleep on the couch, but it's like a penthouse having all the bed only for me!
-
Importroller
- Posts: 1135
- Joined: Sat Oct 26, 2002 10:12 am
- Car: G35 and 07 Altima 3.5 6spd
- Location: san diego
- Contact:
-
Importroller
- Posts: 1135
- Joined: Sat Oct 26, 2002 10:12 am
- Car: G35 and 07 Altima 3.5 6spd
- Location: san diego
- Contact: