... no check engine light, and the commander wont light up... WTF
come on yellow i know your better than that

lol
this might sound stupid but you sure you checked to make sure its plugged in 100% right? Try unplugging it and plugging it back in if you haven't already. I read about these guys getting a power fc and it not starting the car (rb26dett skyline) at first because it was set to work with an apexi boost controller and it wouldn't even allow the engine to start without it. So they had to set it to non boost control, but if you can't even get the commander lit up then theres no way you could even find out of thats your problem...
dunno man thats my 2 cents ... hope you work it out!