Girl Trouble, got bad to, reaching to men of NICO for help....

[ON3_T1M3]

So i've been dating this girl for about 2 1/2 months now, things have been going good, actually were going very very good, until last week, in an email she sent me (one of the stupid questionaires) she answered the question do you have feelings for you X still? YES....now at first i didn't know what to think so i talked to her about it, and she said that she just can't help it, she still does, which i don't understand, (i kno her X and he is a real piece of work) well during that conversation she let it slip that she just can't help it she will always love him......she will always love him!! that pissed me off, and reasonably so, but she didn't understand she says she wants to be with me, but why should i be 2nd. I dunno, do i have a rite to be upset? am i blowing everything out of wack? should i just spend all my new time and the money i save on my 240? (yea duh!) it would be alotta time and alotta money....i think this the and end and a beging for me though.....girls the only thing more costly/confusing/time consuming/beautiful(sumtimes)/fun to ride(also sumtimes )/and high maintanence than cars.....

[xekushnr]

a lot of girls say stuff like this. i dont know if its legit, im not a female. but i know what its like being in your position and its hard to accept. lots of talking about her feelings about him may or may not give you insight, but it might be worth a shot. you have to figure out how much this girl means to you in order to decide if its worth it or not in the long run. theres no use changing yourself to be with a girl that wont last in the long run.
Modified by xekushnr at 1:55 PM 7/1/2005

[SeVa-S13]

Alot of them say that. They're young, stupid, irrational and let emotions run them. Can't change 'em, just enjoy what you can.

Oh, and you have every right to be upset. Just don't dwell on it if you value the realtionship at all.

[mrflip69]

Blowing things way outta proportion. Who says you're #2? YOU DO! Dude, remember who the guy is... her EX. Yes, EX, which means things didn't work out for them.

You should only be worried if things aren't great between you and your girl, or if the Ex is interested in getting back. Hopefully neither is the case, and you're golden.

Jealousy is only natural. Just chill and remember that you're with her now.

[Juujai]

i hate situations like that. girl sounds like one of those "lost" chicks. the ones that don't know what they want.

i hate those girls that cost a lot of money... you probably spoiled her. damn guys that call their girlfriends "baby" and "i love you" day and night... like atleast 100 times a day...

you gotta man it more. forever, always, blah blah doesn't mean a thing. it's just an extra word lol. theres this guyi knew that said i love you always and forever to every single girl he dated and what does that mean? nothing it just makes them happy...

"high maintenance chick" probably wants you to "offer more" by saying stupid stuff like i still love my ex.. like bargaining what more can u offer me in a subliminal unintended way

[Eikon]

Quit being a girl... Don't sweat it so much.

Keep in mind that the word "Love" has multiple meanings and levels. You love your parents? You love your car... You love your pet? That doesn't mean you want to sleep with them. You "Love" your neighbors, friends, etc... You can still love your ex even if you don't want to keep in a romantic relationship with them.

I still care for my "first love".

I wouldn't want to be with her. I now know that she is not the person for me. I found the right person and I am very happily married.. for 5 years now. But, if I were asked if I still had feelings for my ex's... Yes.

Every relationship that get's far enough for you to use the word "Love" requires you to invest something of yourself into that relationship. When you do that you naturally take part of that other person with you.

If I ever heard that my ex was in trouble... I would take care of her. I still have feelings for her because of what we once had. I still value that.

Point is... don't worry about it. You are blowing it out of proportion.

Instead of asking if she still love's him... Ask her different questions.. 1.) Do you still want to be with him?2.) Do you want to be with me?I think you will find the answer to be NO and YES.

[skylinedreams]

this is something I would normaly get wicked pissed over. But in the end its never really worth it. I'm slowly getting the attitude of if somethings gonna happen it will happen wether you like it or not. maybe if you b*&ch and complain enough you'll be able to post pone her doing something but then things will never work out.

If shes saying she still loves her ex then thats something your gonna have to deal with you cant make someone not like someone. who knows maybe shes going by that whole saying "once you love someone there with you forever". how long has she not been with this guy anyways?

I wish you the best of luck man you just gotta remember although things might not work out life still goes on and your fellow nico members are here for you.

also if your spending a$$ loads of money on her and its only been 2 1/2 months all I gotta say is RUN!!!!!!! your car needs you more and it will treat you better.

[themadscientist]

OK, the problem is "I still love him" could mean so many things. Before you get pissed you should clearly define what that means, girls are ambiguous about things, people with penises like rigid definition. If she means she wants the best for him and may occasionally talk to the guy that wouldn't bother me but if she wants to go out with him once a week you may have a problem.

[Graphfixz]

Man, life is too short and too complecated at times to be worried about a girl who can't forget her EX.

If your woman can not give you 100% of herself then it isn't worth it. I mean, where is the relationship going... really.... where is it going? If she was just your friend and you were trying to make it more, then OK... deal with it. but she is your girl...

[Jookmasta]

please refer to my sig..........................

[st33f]

i LOVE my ex... i just threw her out 2 weeks ago...

she came back yesterday wanting to be with me, and i just cant... but i do love her, and its love like i wanna be with her. Its confusing, but sometimes emotions are that way. I dunno how she is, but no matter what feelings like love tend to soften up over time. I hope you the best. Im goin through some emotional struggle and i have no idea what to do, so i weld stuff up and build parts. I made some TC rods and tonight i wanna finish some rear toe and trac rods

put ur frustration aside.

[SlidnSideways]

Most girls have problems letting go. Its common and as long as she isnt stalking the guy and talking about him 24/7 i say dont worry about it. She still has feelings for him but big deal? Shes with you now so i mean if she hasnt brought him up until that point and isnt all about him i say big phawken deal.

Thats just my 2 cents tho

--Tim--

[SlidnSideways]

i LOVE my ex... i just threw her out 2 weeks ago...

she came back yesterday wanting to be with me, and i just cant... but i do love her, and its love like i wanna be with her. Its confusing, but sometimes emotions are that way. I dunno how she is, but no matter what feelings like love tend to soften up over time. I hope you the best. Im goin through some emotional struggle and i have no idea what to do, so i weld stuff up and build parts. I made some TC rods and tonight i wanna finish some rear toe and trac rods

put ur frustration aside.

GOD I WISH I HAD A WELDER!!

I would be finding reasons to be pissed off!

--Tim--

[masticatingcow]

Hey man, I wouldn't sweat it. In a good relationship, both partners need to understand that feelings really ARE out of one's control. Maybe this guy was a "piece of work," big deal. She and he found common ground, and I'm sure she misses that. Whatever. Fact is, she's with you now. And frankly, the fact that she can be honest with you is a good thing.

Just be the man you are. If you and she spark something more permanent, great. But to be honest, your outlook on the situation seems to indicate that you are just as immature about emotions as she is... maybe even a little more.

So relax. LOL, and no matter what jokes anyone has about cars and girls, remember they're just jokes. Here's a couple truths:

1. If your girl is shallow enough to believe that you could really have the same emotions about your car that you have for her, it's not that she doesn't understand boys and cars... she doesn't understand boys and girls. Explain it to her.

2. If your girl doesn't want you spending YOUR money on YOUR car, she may be high maintenance. It will always be her or your car/boat/computer/stereo/whatever. Assess your priorities. Make your decision quickly.

Just my $0.02. Hope it helps!

[ON3_T1M3]

well she dated this guy for 6 or 7 months i think, and they had broken up about 2 weeks before i met her, and so about a month/month in half b4 we started dating, she likes my car and all, she doesn't like that rite now i'm saving up ALL my money for it (we haven't been out for diner or a movie in a week and a half) but i'm finally making progress on my car, the only thing she doesn't like about my car is the attention it attracts from other girls around town....S14s are chick magnets ....

[ON3_T1M3]

right now niether of us know whats goign to happen, thinkin about just taking some time to see if things are worth working out, or if we want to work them out, i mean it is summer and i am 17, but we'll see how things go...

[masticatingcow]

If you're saving ALL your money for your car, then you're definately sending a message that the relationship isn't a priority. Spending SOME money on your car is fine, and most rational women wouldn't get on your case, so long as you were able to balance her needs with yours.

Time off is good as long as you're both invested in it. The worst thing that could happen would be for one of you to realize that you really care for the other, and the other to realize that there's nothing there. You should start off by apologizing for coming unglued about her feelings for her ex. I mean, come on... They were together for almost three times as long as you have. Start there, and talk to her about why it freaked you out. COMMUNICATE.

Maybe she's not the one, and perhaps this is a horrible way to look at it, but learning to communicate and make compromises with women early will make you a better man for whomever you wind up with in the end. If it's her, great. If not, then you'll have learned to talk to women instead of shutting them off when they don't seem to understand.

Someday, the mother of your children will be glad you did.

[raaksha]

Her smart answer would have been to said no, but I give her points for honesty. My last girlfriend will always hold a part of my heart, and I'll never stop loving her, but that doesn't mean I won't love any future girlfriend. No girlfriend will be able replace my ex, but thats fine, I don't want any future gf to, they're their own person and I would love them for them. I don't think theres anything wrong with what she saying, as long as she says she wants to be with you and not him. It doesn't make you 2nd place, you aren't a replacement, you're a completely different person.

[j-z]

i think youre thinking about , and letting it get to you too much. i just got with this one girl about a month ago, and have great feelings for her. i do love her. however i feel now will never change the way i feel about my X. i was in love with this girl for years! im gonna love her till the day i die no matter what. nothing can change the way i feel about her. i cant help it. thats what true love will do to someone. obviously your girl had strong feelings for her X, but look at now. whos she with? YOU! look into the future and not into the past.

[S13FX]

Oh wow, kinda off topic but my girl makes me spend my money on my car. She thinks it's crazy that I wanna spend it all on her lol

[TOPSECRT88]

(offtopic) ^^^^Damn hold onto that one. lol

[skylinedreams]

Oh wow, kinda off topic but my girl makes me spend my money on my car. She thinks it's crazy that I wanna spend it all on her lol

your lucky i need to find a girl like that. but nope i'm rockin it solo just came out of a year relationship its tough cuz I can honestly say i love this girl owell thats life im tryin to move on.

[ON3_T1M3]

ok so really wierd nite 2nite, i went over to hang with our group of friends and she was really mad at me and wouldn't talk to me and told me that she didn't want nething to do with me rite now.....did'nt kno how to take that but to make things more wierd i am now taking her sister (whose my age) to a fireworks show on the 4th....how that happened i don't exactly know, how thats gonna roll with her sis (the one i'm dating!?!kinda) prolly not good.......just confusing

[skylinedreams]

thats really not a good idea i hate to tell you but if you take your girls sis to the fireworks that might mean a certain end to your relationship. I wonder why shes mad at you? It's pretty immature not to talk about whats making her mad at you all i can say is best of luck to you. but hanging out with the sister is gonna make it look like hey i cant have her may as well go for her sister. thats what your girl might think.

[ON3_T1M3]

i did realize that it could be easily taken that way, so i talked to her, and she already knew and was cool with it, nothing is gonna happen between me and her sister, even though she is my age, she has bf whose outta town and the one i'm dating is already gonna be at the park where the fireworks are all day, (we have to work) i tried to find out why she was mad, and maybe work it out but she wouldn't communicate with me, i don't think things r gonna work out with the lack of communication on both parts, as for being immature we are only 17 and 18

[Florida240sx]

Tell her if you aren't first then bye....

[grimple1]

Well I'm not so sure it's just the ladies with that viewpoint. I mean I can think of some X's or "the ones that got aways."

I wouldn't fret it too much, ace.

[VSJA1725]

I dont kno man i just got out of a three year relationship it sucks man i love this girl to death and hurts me to not see her as much and stuff but try to keep urself busy be it spending time on ur car or working, thats wat i did and it helped its sucks tho i kno how u feel. Especially now that my car is coming out the shop 2marrow wit the sr in it i would of like to share that wit her since she helped me alot wit the car . But anywayz good luck and try not to stress it to much we are to young bro(im 18).

[skylinedreams]

heres a semi good attitude to go by were all pretty young so any relationships we have are merely just a thing to help pass the time. with every relationship you usually learn something wether any good or bad comes from it thats up to you. just make the best of the time your having now cuz were only young once. I don't know about you but im not in a hurry to find a girl and settle down and get married yet. If i were to do that i'd feel like i cheated myself out of the best years of my life. oh and a lil more advise for your girl situation just live one day at a time who knows what the next day will bring. oh and try not to look to far ahead in the future I used to do that and I always end up bein upset or disappointed with the outcome.