For the love of Sanity, don't go see After Earth

[MinisterofDOOM]

IT was really, really bad. Terrible. Bad script, bad pacing, and weird focus.

I'm extra disappointed because I'm a Garry Whitta fan (not only was he my favorite PCGamer EIC, and I'm a fan of a lot of his other work as well). Of course, throw in M. Night Shyamalan and Will Smith father-son writing duo and you can probably ruin ANY screenplay in a hurry.

The movie was so weirdly-focused. They spent TONS of time giving background information for why the two main characters get stuck on earth, and why Earth has been abandoned for 1000 years...when none of it matters. Who cares why humanity left earth for good 1000 years ago? Would be more interesting as a mystery! And the background on the vague war with ambiguous aliens took time to accomplish nothing. Worse, the "ursas" (monsters genetically engineered by the aforementioned vague alien threat) are entirely pointless and have no real connection with anything that happens, aside from adding a minor "Fear is a choice" character subplot that could have been left out completely.

But the worst parts? The science.
We supposedly left earth 1,000 years ago, during which time "Every single living creature on the planet evolved to hunt man." So...wait a minute. AFTER WE LEFT, evolution accelerated dramatically to help life on earth learn to hunt CREATURES WHO WERE NO LONGER AROUND?! I don't even know where to begin with that!
The ecology is broken, too. They talk about earth experiencing dramatic temperature changes daily...below freezing every night, and normal earth surface temps during the day. How the s*** was THAT supposed to have happened? Pollution changes the planet's orbit now??? (See, the movie opens with a stereotypical lecture about how Humanity is abusing the planet, and uses that as a reason for our leaving for good). And despite these massive daily temperature variations, the planet is still covered in TROPICAL PLANTLIFE.
And there are also volcanoes and all sorts of other nonsense going on. Apparently, nobody writing this movie understands the timescales of evolution, ecology, OR geology. Nor do they understand anything ELSE about these three things.

The part that bothered me the most, though, was the universal accent given to ALL humans. I can see where they might have been going with it: humanity is collected in denser groups for a long period of time, so accents unify somewhat. But the accent the characters speak with sounds EXACTLY like every little kid with a speech impediment I've ever listened to. It's like English chav meets Oklahoma farmer. It was HUGELY distracting and also made it more difficult to take ANY character seriously as capable people, since they all sounded like special-needs children.

Just a terrible, terrible movie.

[laxands13]

Well thanks for saving me some money lol. Thought that movie actually had looked decent but I guess I'll stay away!

[themadscientist]

I could tell it sucked hard from the ads. Smith has gotten famous enough where he can push crap through unopposed. Think Travolta and Battlefield Earth. Add in Shymalan's poor performance and you couldn't get me into a theater to see that film at gunpoint.

[alms24sebring]

So... better than Prometheus?

[dre1507]

Thank God I don't waste gas going to movie theaters.....

[nissangirl74]

I'll take that one off the summer list. I hate blowing a lot of money to watch a s*** movie.

[WDRacing]

I heard the same thing about Oblivion Chris. Thx for the heads up, I was going to see it.

alms24sebring, I was actually angry walking out to my car after I saw Prometheus. How can you take something with so much potential and just take a hot steamy dump all over it.

[MinisterofDOOM]

I heard the same thing about Oblivion Chris. Thx for the heads up, I was going to see it.

alms24sebring, I was actually angry walking out to my car after I saw Prometheus. How can you take something with so much potential and just take a hot steamy dump all over it.

I really liked Prometheus. Aside from the "run from the thing that's going to crush us...in the one direction it's going" scene, I thought it was excellent.

Oblivion was actually really good as well. It was NOT what I expected, and the ending was way better than I've come to expect from summer action movies these days.

[WDRacing]

God, Prometheus was suck dipped in catpiss and rolled in liquid s***.

[themadscientist]

It wasn't so bad. I was disappointed, but don't feel the franchise was irretrievably raped. It was as least as good as Alien 3.

I went in for around the world, but got a handjob at least.

[darylzero]

No Chance I was ever going to see that movie. Smith developed the whole thing just to make his kid a "star". I can understand a father wanting to doanything for his son, but you can't force some things.
Plus once I saw M. Night Shyamalan was the director...

Rolling Stone Peter Travers
The young Smith has energy, but not the acting chops. And he's no miracle worker. The burden of carrying this dull, lifeless movie is just too much. And it's hell on an audience. It's not a good sign when you sit there thinking - Make. It. Stop.

[TurboSauce]

1, the accent Jayden had in the movie was ANNOYING the fact that he had to narrate the beginning of the movie with it almost made me want to leave my seat and just not watch it.
2, there were some good parts i guess, like the restricted area, and his sister on the raft.
3, then when he was talking to will in the middle of the jungle, and they were arguing, I found it hilarious how he was staring at the walls of the theater due to camera angles.
4, It was annoying how someone didn't die, i was really hoping they would, would've made for a better story in my opinion.
5, I didn't have to pay to see it cuz friends had a spare ticket, though I wish i still told them no.
6, all in all it was an OKAY movie. Not one i'd go out of my way to see, and halfway through i wanted to leave to go to the concession stands. I wanted to leave.

[MinisterofDOOM]

2, there were some good parts i guess, like the restricted area, and his sister on the raft.

I thought that was the WORST part of the movie. Nonsense, out of place, and unnecessary.

[gwoods]

shoulda just made Hancock II where Hancock has a son

[TurboSauce]

2, there were some good parts i guess, like the restricted area, and his sister on the raft.

I thought that was the WORST part of the movie. Nonsense, out of place, and unnecessary.

That's the thing it had little to no relevance to the rest of the movie, so it caught my attention and made me generally question what was going on. In the sense that it caught my interest, I deem it as good.

[Loki]

And there are also volcanoes and all sorts of other nonsense going on. Apparently, nobody writing this movie understands the timescales of evolution, ecology, OR geology. Nor do they understand anything ELSE about these three things.

Just a terrible, terrible movie.

I can offer an explanation for that. This movie was likely written as a pro-Scientology fluff piece (there is evidence out there that Will Smith is a pretty heavy Scientologist). That can explain the love of volcanoes and lack of basic understanding of, well, science. Also, it was hoped this movie would be a successful spring board for Will Smith v2.0 and his acting career. M Night Shamalanamlan may have been hired on to direct just in case the movie did flop, in which case M Night would be blamed and not Will or his kid.

I could tell it sucked hard from the ads. Smith has gotten famous enough where he can push crap through unopposed. Think Travolta and Battlefield Earth. Add in Shymalan's poor performance and you couldn't get me into a theater to see that film at gunpoint.

Funny you mention that, as Battlefield Earth was also supposed to be a Scientology banner movie (Travolta also being a big Scientologist).

[Rev_D21]

God, Prometheus was suck dipped in catpiss and rolled in liquid s***.

+1, a story about the insides of a horses a** would have been better written. Ridley Scott has no excuse for this failure. I was very disappointed.

[flohtingPoint]

God, Prometheus was suck dipped in catpiss and rolled in liquid s***.

+1, a story about the insides of a horses a** would have been better written. Ridley Scott has no excuse for this failure. I was very disappointed.

I was very half and half on Prometheus. I liked the idea of the engineers and such, I thought it was really awesome to see a background story on the big creature seen in Alien and never talked about since. In the AvP comics, they have them looking like elephants in some cases, this is much less silly.

Things I didn't like about Prometheus:
-EVERYTHING WAS TOO CLEAN! Look at Alien, go back and watch it. Everything is as you would think it would be, dirty, unkempt "sailors" smoking cigs and eating crap food because they're stuck on a starship for quite a large amount of time. In Prometheus, people are wearing makeup, everything is pressed and clean and white, hardly even resembles something remotely believable. Blade Runner/Alien had very believable worlds in terms of surroundings, Prometheus was extremely sterile, looks like it was shot in an operating room or somewhere they create microprocessors.

-The silly ending, everything about it is terrible. Nothing redeeming at all.

As far as "After Earth," I havent liked Will Smith since, ... ... never. I've never liked Will Smith.

[MinisterofDOOM]

-EVERYTHING WAS TOO CLEAN! Look at Alien, go back and watch it. Everything is as you would think it would be, dirty, unkempt "sailors" smoking cigs and eating crap food because they're stuck on a starship for quite a large amount of time. In Prometheus, people are wearing makeup, everything is pressed and clean and white, hardly even resembles something remotely believable. Blade Runner/Alien had very believable worlds in terms of surroundings, Prometheus was extremely sterile, looks like it was shot in an operating room or somewhere they create microprocessors.

There's a perfectly good reason for this:

The Nostromo is an intergalactic towing vessel. The crew are a bunch of truckers. It's a greasy, industrial workhorse.
The Prometheus is a prototype science and exploration vessel built by a research corporation, crewed by rich people and scientists (and a couple truckers).

Makes perfect sense. The hospital in Aliens is clean, too. Because it's a hospital and not a spacefaring Freighliner.

[flohtingPoint]

I'm picking up with you're putting down, but I work at Walter Reed, the premiere medical facility in the Department of Defense, aside from the OR's, everything at least has the resemblance of "real life".

[frapjap]

I'm sad to hear this, the previews looked pretty cool.

However, M Night Sucktard seems to ruin every movie that I've ever seen by him (IMO). This really sucks because I do like Will Smith as an actor (and a rapper). I'll probably still see it as a Sunday matinee or as a double feature at the drive-in.

[themadscientist]

All I know is Idris Elba tapped dat a**!

[PapaSmurf2k3]

The ecology is broken, too. They talk about earth experiencing dramatic temperature changes daily...below freezing every night, and normal earth surface temps during the day. How the s*** was THAT supposed to have happened? Pollution changes the planet's orbit now???

Large temperature swings from day to night often indicated a planet has a reduced atmosphere compared to what we currently have. Green house gasses help to smooth out the peaks and valleys between day and night. Our magnetic field helps to bust up some of the more harmful rays from the sun... or something.
There's other factors, like the composite of the surface (think of it like a big heat sink), but the atmosphere is the big hitter.

Now, having said that, it still doesn't explain how the movie came to that conclusion, nor the plant life thing you mentioned.

[IBCoupe]

How can you take something with so much potential and just take a hot steamy dump all over it.

Let's find out. Any comment, R. Kelly?

[IBCoupe]

I'm sad to hear this, the previews looked pretty cool.

However, M Night Sucktard seems to ruin every movie that I've ever seen by him (IMO). This really sucks because I do like Will Smith as an actor (and a rapper). I'll probably still see it as a Sunday matinee or as a double feature at the drive-in.

From what I've read, this actually wasn't Shyamalan's fault. The entire thing was a project cooked up by the elder Smith, and organized by his family so that his son would have more opportunities to act. Shyamalan was brought in because he's a friend of Smith's - it's not actually his story. Smith thought it up with a buddy while watching TV.

Shyamalan's made some stinkers (The [What the Hell Just] Happening comes to mind, but I'm a fan of Unbreakable, The Sixth Sense, Lady in the Water, and I wasn't that down on The Village, though I really wanted to punch Adrian Brody the whole movie) and while this might be a stinker, I'm not sure you can lay this at his feet.

[s0m3th1ngAZ]

While we're on the subject, avoid "Now you see me" as well. Didn't think you could cheat at making movies but apparently you can!