Hey all,
I know a bunch of us here watch Family Guy... I was wondering what your top quotes would be? Mine:
"All this work keeping people from having sex... now I know how the Catholic Church must feel. BA-ZING!" - Stewie, Ep. "Emission Impossible" Reference to Stewie's attempts to keep Peter and Lois from having another baby.
"Me father was a tree" - Seamus, Ep. "A Fish Out of Water" Answer to Peter asking the peg-limbed pirate what happened to him.
"No wonder he's always slouching." - Lois, Ep. "And The Weiner Is..." Comment by Lois in reference to her son Chris's apparently oversized "hardware".
Favorite Family Guy Quote
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masticatingcow
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Zydeco
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It's not that i want to kill her...i just dont want her alive..anymore- Stewie
I say! The fat man made a funny! i say Lois, if u cooked any slower... well u wouldn;t be cooking very fast now would u? no.. thats not good at all... if you cooked any slower, u wouldn't need an egg timer, u'd need an egg calander! (laughs) thats right, i went there -Stewie Stewie: Cut my eggs. Butler: [cuts eggs] Your eggs are cut sir. Stewie: Cut my milk! Butler: I can’t sir, it’s liquid. Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it, and if you question me again I’ll put you on diaper detail and I promise I won’t make it easy for you. Peter: Look at this, Lois, see right here [points in book], I was voted most likely to succeed! Lois: Peter, that's not you. That's not even a yearbook, it's a People magazine. Peter: Oh, I wondered why they had the wrong picture and name.(Episode where the Y2K happens, and they must go to Natick to the Twinkie factory )
Stewie: Oh very good, fat man! We've followed the pied piper of hamsteak to the gates of oblivion and look what it's brought us! We're finished! We're done! Game over, man! Game over! (Falls) Oh! Dammit!
Lois: Stewie, get out of that nuclear waste! Who knows what animals have been in there!
At Cheesie Charlie's (Peter's version
Timmy: I have 13 tickets, is that enough?
Employee: I'm sorry Timmy, you need 15 tickets to live. (Timmy falls through a hole in the floor)
What the hell is this! I said egg whites only! Are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack! [throws eggs at the wall] Make it again!!!
[later in the confessions] Ah... the breakfast thing.. heh. Yes, it wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly I like the yokes. I.. I don't.. I have no problem. It's just there has always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just-- i want her not to be alive, anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult, and then I think to myself, My G-d! Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual.
Girl: "You are the weakest link. Goodbye!"
Stewie: Oh gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. "You are the weakest link, Goodbye!" I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, um reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show, right? "You are the weakest link, Goodbye!" And yet you've taken that, and used it out of context, to insult me in this everyday situation. Gosh, what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that by your self. Mmm. That's so fresh, too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me while we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity? Because I'm right here. God you're so funny!
Peter: Jeez, Lois, what are ya doing lying on the couch at this hour? Have you been drinking? Lois: Peter, you know I never drink. Peter: Oh, yeah? Just like you never dodge the draft? Lois: What are you talking about? I'm a woman! Peter: Sure you are... now...
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided. Brian: Yeah, about you pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap. Tour guide: Evervone vas on vacation! On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15- Brian: Wait- what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and- Tour guide: Ve vere invited! Punch vas served! Check vith Poland! Brian: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany. Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Tom: Because of an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmission will be out of action for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say... I'm the Lord Jesus Christ! Let's all go get drunk and beat up some midgets! How about you, Diane? Diane: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people. Camera man: You guys, we're still on in Boston...
Parking attendant: Oh you don't need to park here, Mr. Griffin. You have an executive parking space now. Peter: But that looks exactly like my old space. Attendant: Yeah, but this one comes with your own company suck-up! Suck-up: Morning, Mr. Griffin! Nice day! Peter: Ehh, it's a little cloudy. Suck-up: It's absolutely cloudy. One of the worst days I've seen in years! So, good news about the Yankees! Peter: I hate the Yankees. Suck-up: Pack of cheaters, that's what are! I love your tie. Peter: I hate this tie. Suck-up: It's awful, it's gawdy, it's gotta go. Peter: And I hate myself. Suck-up: I hate you too. You make me sick, you fat sack of crap. Peter: But I'm the president. Suck-up: The best there is! Peter: But you just said you hated me. Suck-up: But- not you the- president. The- you who said- you- hated- you? You who love. Hate. Yankees. Clouds? [Suck-up's head explodes]
British Girl: Ew! Your breath smells like kitty litter! Stewie: I was curious!
More after work tonight
I say! The fat man made a funny! i say Lois, if u cooked any slower... well u wouldn;t be cooking very fast now would u? no.. thats not good at all... if you cooked any slower, u wouldn't need an egg timer, u'd need an egg calander! (laughs) thats right, i went there -Stewie Stewie: Cut my eggs. Butler: [cuts eggs] Your eggs are cut sir. Stewie: Cut my milk! Butler: I can’t sir, it’s liquid. Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it, then cut it, and if you question me again I’ll put you on diaper detail and I promise I won’t make it easy for you. Peter: Look at this, Lois, see right here [points in book], I was voted most likely to succeed! Lois: Peter, that's not you. That's not even a yearbook, it's a People magazine. Peter: Oh, I wondered why they had the wrong picture and name.(Episode where the Y2K happens, and they must go to Natick to the Twinkie factory )
Stewie: Oh very good, fat man! We've followed the pied piper of hamsteak to the gates of oblivion and look what it's brought us! We're finished! We're done! Game over, man! Game over! (Falls) Oh! Dammit!
Lois: Stewie, get out of that nuclear waste! Who knows what animals have been in there!
At Cheesie Charlie's (Peter's version
Timmy: I have 13 tickets, is that enough?
Employee: I'm sorry Timmy, you need 15 tickets to live. (Timmy falls through a hole in the floor)
What the hell is this! I said egg whites only! Are you trying to give me a bloody heart attack! [throws eggs at the wall] Make it again!!!
[later in the confessions] Ah... the breakfast thing.. heh. Yes, it wasn't even about the eggs, really. Frankly I like the yokes. I.. I don't.. I have no problem. It's just there has always been a lot of tension between Lois and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just-- i want her not to be alive, anymore. I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult, and then I think to myself, My G-d! Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual.
Girl: "You are the weakest link. Goodbye!"
Stewie: Oh gosh that's funny. That's really funny. Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. "You are the weakest link, Goodbye!" I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Mmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, um reference that outside the program before. Because that's what she says on the show, right? "You are the weakest link, Goodbye!" And yet you've taken that, and used it out of context, to insult me in this everyday situation. Gosh, what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that by your self. Mmm. That's so fresh, too. Any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me while we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity? Because I'm right here. God you're so funny!
Peter: Jeez, Lois, what are ya doing lying on the couch at this hour? Have you been drinking? Lois: Peter, you know I never drink. Peter: Oh, yeah? Just like you never dodge the draft? Lois: What are you talking about? I'm a woman! Peter: Sure you are... now...
German Tour Guide: You vill find more on Germany's contributions to ze arts in ze pamphlets ve have provided. Brian: Yeah, about you pamphlet... uh, I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap. Tour guide: Evervone vas on vacation! On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15- Brian: Wait- what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939 and- Tour guide: Ve vere invited! Punch vas served! Check vith Poland! Brian: You can't just ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany. Tour guide: Nope, nope. He left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Tom: Because of an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmission will be out of action for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say... I'm the Lord Jesus Christ! Let's all go get drunk and beat up some midgets! How about you, Diane? Diane: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people. Camera man: You guys, we're still on in Boston...
Parking attendant: Oh you don't need to park here, Mr. Griffin. You have an executive parking space now. Peter: But that looks exactly like my old space. Attendant: Yeah, but this one comes with your own company suck-up! Suck-up: Morning, Mr. Griffin! Nice day! Peter: Ehh, it's a little cloudy. Suck-up: It's absolutely cloudy. One of the worst days I've seen in years! So, good news about the Yankees! Peter: I hate the Yankees. Suck-up: Pack of cheaters, that's what are! I love your tie. Peter: I hate this tie. Suck-up: It's awful, it's gawdy, it's gotta go. Peter: And I hate myself. Suck-up: I hate you too. You make me sick, you fat sack of crap. Peter: But I'm the president. Suck-up: The best there is! Peter: But you just said you hated me. Suck-up: But- not you the- president. The- you who said- you- hated- you? You who love. Hate. Yankees. Clouds? [Suck-up's head explodes]
British Girl: Ew! Your breath smells like kitty litter! Stewie: I was curious!
More after work tonight
Peter: "Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?"Tour Guide: "Because you touch yourself at night!"
Lois: "Peter, have you even thought about getting a job yet?"Peter: "Yes, Lois. And I've also thought about getting fired from that job. Is that something you really wanna put this family through?"
Peter: "Well we had a lot of laughs tonight. But I'll tell you what isn't funny...killling strippers. Strippers are people. People who will dance naked for you and pleasure in the back of VIP room. But there's nothing funny about killing strippers...because most of them are already dead inside. Good night everyone!"
Lois: "Peter, what did you promise me you wouldn't do last night?"Peter: "Drink at the stag party"Lois: "And what DID you do last night?"Peter: "Drink at the Sta-oh-ho-ho I almost walked right into that one"
Nick
Lois: "Peter, have you even thought about getting a job yet?"Peter: "Yes, Lois. And I've also thought about getting fired from that job. Is that something you really wanna put this family through?"
Peter: "Well we had a lot of laughs tonight. But I'll tell you what isn't funny...killling strippers. Strippers are people. People who will dance naked for you and pleasure in the back of VIP room. But there's nothing funny about killing strippers...because most of them are already dead inside. Good night everyone!"
Lois: "Peter, what did you promise me you wouldn't do last night?"Peter: "Drink at the stag party"Lois: "And what DID you do last night?"Peter: "Drink at the Sta-oh-ho-ho I almost walked right into that one"
Nick
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dr!ft
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Stewie: Well, I'd love to chat, but you are a total *****.
Stewie: Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.
Peter: Hey, What's His Name? Al Gore: d!ck Army Peter: Phhhhh, ha ha ha ha. No Seriously What Is It? Al Gore: d!ck Army Peter: Phhhhh, ha ha ha ha. Hey d!ck, What's Your Wife's Name? Vagina Coastguard?
Gun advocate: Guns don't kill people, dangerous minorities do.
Stewie: You know, mother, this could almost have passed for a palatable banana pudding, but without Nilla wafers it's just another one of your wretched culinary abortions. Now clean it up!
Quagmire: So ladies, ever been penetrated?
Stewie: Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
Chris: So .. ah .. what are you wearing? Ha ha ha ha ha WOW! I bet you could see right through that. Lois: Chris, who are you talking to? Chris: Grandma.
:ylsuper
Stewie: Let me guess, you picked out yet another colorful box with a crank that I'm expected to turn and turn until OOP! big shock, a jack pops out and you laugh and the kids laugh and the dog laughs and I die a little inside.
Peter: Hey, What's His Name? Al Gore: d!ck Army Peter: Phhhhh, ha ha ha ha. No Seriously What Is It? Al Gore: d!ck Army Peter: Phhhhh, ha ha ha ha. Hey d!ck, What's Your Wife's Name? Vagina Coastguard?
Gun advocate: Guns don't kill people, dangerous minorities do.
Stewie: You know, mother, this could almost have passed for a palatable banana pudding, but without Nilla wafers it's just another one of your wretched culinary abortions. Now clean it up!
Quagmire: So ladies, ever been penetrated?
Stewie: Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
Chris: So .. ah .. what are you wearing? Ha ha ha ha ha WOW! I bet you could see right through that. Lois: Chris, who are you talking to? Chris: Grandma.
:ylsuper
(The handicapped cop guys had just caught a bad guy by leaping over a fence onto said perp.)
(Oh, and this is from memory so in case you have a problem with its inaccuracy: Blow Me.)
Cop: Ironically enough, I severed the perp's spinal cord when I landed on him.
Peter: Oh, well it looks like you'll have some more competition at next year's Special Olympics!
Cop: No, he died.
...and the show ends right there. I could barely breathe.
(Oh, and this is from memory so in case you have a problem with its inaccuracy: Blow Me.)
Cop: Ironically enough, I severed the perp's spinal cord when I landed on him.
Peter: Oh, well it looks like you'll have some more competition at next year's Special Olympics!
Cop: No, he died.
...and the show ends right there. I could barely breathe.
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Axel Grungy
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Rockenreno
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A few of my favs:
Peter: I read a book about this once.Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't NOTHING?Peter: Oh, yeah...
Stewie (at Brian's mother's burial): Yay, and God said to Abraham, You will kill your son Isaac. And Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone. And God said, Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better? Check, check, check--Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here.
Chris: Well we can't keep it in my room because there's an evil monkey that lives in my closet. *Monkey points threateningly, per my avatar*Chris: You know the sad part is, he wasn't always evil...
Stewie: You'll rue this day! Well go ahead, start rueing!
Stewie: Tomorrow's forecast: A few sprinklings of genius with a chance of DOOM!
Peter: Sometime's it's ok to swear.Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Peter: I do... you bastard.
Lois: Peter, you're drunk.Peter: No I'm not, I'm just tired because I've been up drinking all night.
Peter: Everybody out! I have to poop. (After consuming a year's worth of dehydrated meals and then drinking a cup of water)
Quagmire: Tuesdays in the '80s I was always in bed by 8... and home by 11.
Brian: Peter, your excuses are lamer than FDR's legs. (gasps)Brian: Too soon?
and so much more...
Peter: I read a book about this once.Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't NOTHING?Peter: Oh, yeah...
Stewie (at Brian's mother's burial): Yay, and God said to Abraham, You will kill your son Isaac. And Abraham said, I can't hear you, you'll have to speak into the microphone. And God said, Oh, I'm sorry. Is this better? Check, check, check--Jerry, pull the high end out, I'm still getting some hiss back here.
Chris: Well we can't keep it in my room because there's an evil monkey that lives in my closet. *Monkey points threateningly, per my avatar*Chris: You know the sad part is, he wasn't always evil...
Stewie: You'll rue this day! Well go ahead, start rueing!
Stewie: Tomorrow's forecast: A few sprinklings of genius with a chance of DOOM!
Peter: Sometime's it's ok to swear.Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Peter: I do... you bastard.
Lois: Peter, you're drunk.Peter: No I'm not, I'm just tired because I've been up drinking all night.
Peter: Everybody out! I have to poop. (After consuming a year's worth of dehydrated meals and then drinking a cup of water)
Quagmire: Tuesdays in the '80s I was always in bed by 8... and home by 11.
Brian: Peter, your excuses are lamer than FDR's legs. (gasps)Brian: Too soon?
and so much more...
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Touchdown038
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"Would you like a cupcake, Stewie" - Lois"Yes, but no sprinkles. For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you." - Stewie
"Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at while you're talking to them! hahahahahaha" - Peter
(Talking about the pee on the carpet)"Ewww, it smells gross!" - Meg"Well, princess, I don't see anybody dabbing yours behind their ears." - Brian
EDIT: BEST ONE EVER!
"Does this look like a Q to you?" - Quaqmire
"Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at while you're talking to them! hahahahahaha" - Peter
(Talking about the pee on the carpet)"Ewww, it smells gross!" - Meg"Well, princess, I don't see anybody dabbing yours behind their ears." - Brian
EDIT: BEST ONE EVER!
"Does this look like a Q to you?" - Quaqmire
peter: when I get nervous, stuff starts to happen(lois's dad walks in)breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep(farting noise)lois: that was me daddy
peter: If you don't bring back gumbel to gumbel, i'm going on a hunger strike.
(waits 10 secs)
peter: you gonna eat that stapler?exec. guy: it's a stapler mr.griffin you can't eat itpeter: wanna split it?
there are a million more
btw, is it coming back or what?
peter: If you don't bring back gumbel to gumbel, i'm going on a hunger strike.
(waits 10 secs)
peter: you gonna eat that stapler?exec. guy: it's a stapler mr.griffin you can't eat itpeter: wanna split it?
there are a million more
btw, is it coming back or what?
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Touchdown038
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masticatingcow
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masticatingcow
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LOL, these are from "Brian In Love"
Peter asks the bookstore owner for a book on potty training.Bookstore Owner: "Oh yes, we can help you there... 'Everybody Poops' is still the standard of course. we've also got the less popular 'Nobody Poops But You.'Peter: "Huh, well you see, we're Catholic so, uh..."Bookstore Owner: "Well then you want 'You're a Naughty Child and Tht's Concentrated Evil Coming Out the Back of You."
Peter: "Hey I oughta give you some beer, that stuff goes right through you!"Stewie: "Yes, and while we're at it, maybe we can light up a doobie and watch p0rn!"Peter: "Y.. yeah?"
Peter: "What does Sigmund 'Fraud' think it is?"Brian: "He uh, thinks I'm in love."Peter: "OH MY GOD... ... YOU CAN TALK!"Brian: "... Nevermind."
Asian Correspondant Trisha Takenawa: "Well, I am about to have sex with a total stranger, who right now is in the bathroom, possibly doing drugs. Watch as I have sex with the potentially dangerous man as we take you... undercover." Out walks Quagmire...Quagmire: "Hey, I've never had it with a Spanish chick before... heh.. OH-LAY!"
Peter asks the bookstore owner for a book on potty training.Bookstore Owner: "Oh yes, we can help you there... 'Everybody Poops' is still the standard of course. we've also got the less popular 'Nobody Poops But You.'Peter: "Huh, well you see, we're Catholic so, uh..."Bookstore Owner: "Well then you want 'You're a Naughty Child and Tht's Concentrated Evil Coming Out the Back of You."
Peter: "Hey I oughta give you some beer, that stuff goes right through you!"Stewie: "Yes, and while we're at it, maybe we can light up a doobie and watch p0rn!"Peter: "Y.. yeah?"
Peter: "What does Sigmund 'Fraud' think it is?"Brian: "He uh, thinks I'm in love."Peter: "OH MY GOD... ... YOU CAN TALK!"Brian: "... Nevermind."
Asian Correspondant Trisha Takenawa: "Well, I am about to have sex with a total stranger, who right now is in the bathroom, possibly doing drugs. Watch as I have sex with the potentially dangerous man as we take you... undercover." Out walks Quagmire...Quagmire: "Hey, I've never had it with a Spanish chick before... heh.. OH-LAY!"
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Touchdown038
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MaineExport
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Ugh... I really need to watch Family Guy more often.
The only one I can remember that I didn't see listed here, was one where Peter was at a job interview. All he can do is stare at a picture on the wall of this guy's family.
The guy asks Peter where he sees himself in five years.
Peter says to himself: ("Don't say, 'doing your wife'.... Don't say, 'doing your wife'.... Don't say, 'doing your wife'.... ")
Then he says out loud: "Doing your.....(shifts focus to desktop picture of interviewer's son)..... boy?"
That had me damn-near pissing my pants!!!
The only one I can remember that I didn't see listed here, was one where Peter was at a job interview. All he can do is stare at a picture on the wall of this guy's family.
The guy asks Peter where he sees himself in five years.
Peter says to himself: ("Don't say, 'doing your wife'.... Don't say, 'doing your wife'.... Don't say, 'doing your wife'.... ")
Then he says out loud: "Doing your.....(shifts focus to desktop picture of interviewer's son)..... boy?"
That had me damn-near pissing my pants!!!
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Touchdown038
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You guys took alot of good ones, heres a few i can think of that are funny as hell:
Peter and the gang are in Prison
Joe:That's the guy I put away for life.
Prison convict walks up.
You guys are all dead.
Peter: Good, he thinks we're zombies, hell leave us alone.
-------------------
Stewie: Oh god, his pulse is increasing dramatically, he's either doing the nasty or watching batman!
--------------------
Peter can't die
Peter: Aren't you Richard Simmons.
Peter gets stabbed by thug playing pool 1, Peter goes to the next guy
Peter: Aren't you Richard Simmons friend........ Richard Simmons, Nehehehe.
Peter gets shot
Peter and the gang are in Prison
Joe:That's the guy I put away for life.
Prison convict walks up.
You guys are all dead.
Peter: Good, he thinks we're zombies, hell leave us alone.
-------------------
Stewie: Oh god, his pulse is increasing dramatically, he's either doing the nasty or watching batman!
--------------------
Peter can't die
Peter: Aren't you Richard Simmons.
Peter gets stabbed by thug playing pool 1, Peter goes to the next guy
Peter: Aren't you Richard Simmons friend........ Richard Simmons, Nehehehe.
Peter gets shot
Peter: I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
Brian: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?Peter: Um, if by "read" you mean imagined a naked lady, then, yes.
Stewie: For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!
Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute. Quagmire: Fifty bucks. Auctioner: She had nine STDs. Quagmire: Forty-five bucks. Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself. Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time
Quagmire: Hey there Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: 16. Quagmire: 18? Connie: Mom! Quagmire: I Like where this is goin'!
Quagmire (runs outside in a robe): Hey guys, what's going on? I was just jerki ... ed out of a deep sleep.
[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall] Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up half way through.
Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet? Meg Griffin: No. Quagmire: Just checkin'.
Peter: Wow, that Lois is some kinda woman.Quagmire: Yeah, just thinkin' about her makes my testicles wanna drop. Ooh, speak of the devil. Ooh, make the devils.
Yea Quagmire is pretty much the man.
Brian: Peter, did you read the fine print on this loan contract?Peter: Um, if by "read" you mean imagined a naked lady, then, yes.
Stewie: For the love of God, shake me! Shake me like a British nanny!
Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute. Quagmire: Fifty bucks. Auctioner: She had nine STDs. Quagmire: Forty-five bucks. Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself. Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time
Quagmire: Hey there Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: 16. Quagmire: 18? Connie: Mom! Quagmire: I Like where this is goin'!
Quagmire (runs outside in a robe): Hey guys, what's going on? I was just jerki ... ed out of a deep sleep.
[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall] Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot.
Quagmire: I felt guilty once, but she woke up half way through.
Quagmire: Hi, Meg. Eighteen yet? Meg Griffin: No. Quagmire: Just checkin'.
Peter: Wow, that Lois is some kinda woman.Quagmire: Yeah, just thinkin' about her makes my testicles wanna drop. Ooh, speak of the devil. Ooh, make the devils.
Yea Quagmire is pretty much the man.
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masticatingcow
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LOL, just buy the sets. They aren't THAT expensive. Besides, it's a respectable show... I can understand ripping off the Initial D episodes (because they ask SO DAMN MUCH for the DVDs) but Family Guy is your friend... support it.ricebike wrote:crap, u guys are making me want to get the DVD set myself... lil' bro is gonna mod my Xbox for my b'day instead...
now to see who here can burn copies to blank CDRs; i'll supply u the blanks & fee to cover cost of your labor :rockon
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'94 F-150 - Location: Fredericksburg, VA
masticatingcow wrote:LOL, just buy the sets. They aren't THAT expensive. Besides, it's a respectable show... I can understand ripping off the Initial D episodes (because they ask SO DAMN MUCH for the DVDs) but Family Guy is your friend... support it.
$16-20 for a 4 episode, bi-lingual dvd is about average. i can remember paying that much for a 2 episode, 1 language VHS tape years ago.
