Farting Neighbor Threatened with a Gun

[nissangirl74]

This just in.....Farting can get you shot!!!!

A 72-year-old New Jersey man has been charged with threatening his neighbour with a gun because he broke wind outside his apartment.
Daniel Collins Jr is accused of aiming his .32-calibre revolver at his 47-year-old neighbour and saying, 'I'm going to put a hole in your head.'
The heated confrontation is alleged to have have occurred after the unnamed neighbour farted after he walked by Collins' apartment at 694 Cedar Lane at around 9:25 p.m on Monday.






http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... olver.html

[Mr1der]

72 years old or not, that's a codger that's gonna be in a nursing home pretty damn quick.

[themadscientist]

There's got to be more to it than this. There was stuff leading up to this.

[Rager]

i dont find this funny at all. people pulling guns on people for farting on people and from recenctly where a guy was shot to death cuz a dog s*** on a guys lawn. this is f*** s***! it puts all gun owners in to this category that we are trigger happy .

[Rager]

http://abcnews.go.com/US/okla-woman-sho ... -0XX_Vlsz4

now this is a completely differenty story

[themadscientist]

Indeed, a gun is just a tool. Like any tool, the user imparts positive or negative results from its use. We have two examples of the various ends of the spectrum. One will get traction in popular media, one will not. Guess which.

[Bubba1]

This just in.....Farting can get you shot!!!!

A 72-year-old New Jersey man has been charged with threatening his neighbour with a gun because he broke wind outside his apartment.
Daniel Collins Jr is accused of aiming his .32-calibre revolver at his 47-year-old neighbour and saying, 'I'm going to put a hole in your head.'
The heated confrontation is alleged to have have occurred after the unnamed neighbour farted after he walked by Collins' apartment at 694 Cedar Lane at around 9:25 p.m on Monday.






http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... olver.html

I farted loudly in support when I read this article earlier this morning. It occurred in my home town, not far from my boyhood home.
Who' da thunk a butt could be considered a lethal weapon?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWBUl7oT9sA[/youtube]

[DJ_B_Easy]

^LOL, love Monty Python.

If farting gets you shot, I dont know how Im still alive...

[Bubba1]

72 years old or not, that's a codger that's gonna be in a nursing home pretty damn quick.

hopefully a nursing home that does not permit weapons, and not with a roomate that ate eggs for breakfast or broccoli, beans aqnd beer at lunch.

[Mr1der]

this reminds me, I need pickled eggs. I've run both myself and the dog out of a room with those...

[Irvxing]

gives us gun owners a bad name

[themadscientist]

And farters.

[Irvxing]

damn farters!

[DJ_B_Easy]

I once farted so loud at Inner Harbor Baltimore MD that I made a nearby baby cry. I was sitting on a metal bench and it was quite resonant.

[themadscientist]

Domestic terrorlst!

[300ZXttZMAN]

There's got to be more to it than this. There was stuff leading up to this.

This is what I was thinking.

[Bubba1]

Domestic terrorlst!

Well, it is gas warfare...

[DJ_B_Easy]

In case anyone was wondering, it really does work when you try and turn your bunghole into a flame thrower.

[orangeNblue]

There's got to be more to it than this. There was stuff leading up to this.

Every morning Mr. Collin's awoke, ready to start another day, making himself a warm and healthy breakfast, as he always did. A healthy meal has been part of his regimen for well over 40 years. Every morning he'd step outside to get the newspaper waiting at his door step. Crouching down to get his paper, he was once again met with the awful aroma of his neighbors inner most demons. Yes, Stan Miller, his rude and unrelenting neighbor was known for having the worst gas in the county, heck maybe even in all of New Jersey. Every morning as Daniel would go for his paper, Stan would walk up and rip the loudest and nastiest cheek slapping fart anyone on the first two floors could hear. Loud enough that someone could file a complaint against Mr. Miller if they wanted. Mr. Collin's gagged as he grabbed his paper and went back inside. "Sherrie, I think I've had enough. This man has passed gas in my face for too long." His wife just laughed and went on back to watching the morning news. That night Daniel sat in his bead, polishing his .32 caliber rifle. "Tomorrow I'll show that Stan." And tomorrow he did. From outside the front door Sherrie heard her husband yell..."I'm going to put a hole in your head."




sorry my inner novelist came out this morning.....

[Bubba1]

Bravo. Well done. I also agree that there must be more to the story. Orange also inspired my inner poet. So here's a limerick about what I believe might have led to the incident...

Of Collin's smoking did his neighbor tire
And Collin's refusal to stop raised his ire.
So the neighbor boomed from his a$$
such a foul smelling gas
that with his gun, Collins threatened to fire.

[szh]

Bravo. Well done. I also agree that there must be more to the story. Orange also inspired my inner poet. So here's a limerick about what I believe might have led to the incident...

Of Collin's smoking did his neighbor tire
And Collin's refusal to stop raised his ire.
So the neighbor boomed from his a$$
such a foul smelling gas
that with his gun, Collins threatened to fire.

[themadscientist]

These could be country music tunes!

[Bubba1]

These could be country music tunes!

Here's my country music tune....


insert banjo Strum Strum Strum strum
'
A'hm all alone cause of mah neighbor's azz.
Blasting me daily with a dose of swamp gas
The stench finally caused mah gal to leave,
my poor houndawg began to heave.

Before the smell burned a hole in my nose
I tried to stop him with a garden hose
But the water did not deter his blasts
his butt juice finally destroyed my grass

Chorus:
Why oh why ain't mah house more upwind.
The foulness from his butt is a big nasty sin
I can't get close enough to insert a cork
So I think I just oughta shoot the dork.

Uh Thank yuh vera much.