Fark: Most Memorable Stupid Mechanic Acts

[Jesda]

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/far...70149

My favorite:"2004-12-20 03:42:38 AM SomeGie

Girl I knew. Her dad bot her a brand new focus and she was going to take it to california or somthing (im in washinton) so a few day before she left he told her to check the oil. So she took of the cap and looked in. Couldent see any oil, thot is was empty. Proceeded to add like 18 quarts of oil until it came up to where the cap is. Needless to say it didn't make more then a mile down the road. They gave her a new one since it was under warranty tho. Girls are stupid."

[HashiriyaS14]

lol..."bot"..."thot"....haha

Anyway, funny story.

[Jesda]

Another one:"opening the radcap of an overheated '77 Granada, thinking it had cooled down after half an hour. Watching the safety release blow off through clenched eyes. Walking around with tiger-striped face of burned flesh. Good times."

^^- Reminds me of an incident the Q this summer when I was trying to resolve a cooling system problem. I was in the process of replacing the thermostat. Being the overzealous and impatient type, I grabbed the radiator cap and yanked it off, and fell backward on to the grass and watched a fountain of coolant spray into the air and all over the motor and my body. I ran in the garage and immediately grabbed some gallon jugs of distilled water. My back, head, hands, arms, legs, jeans were all covered in mud and hot coolant.

In another incident very recently, I was going to remove and clean the gas tank on the Q, but gave up when I became tired and unable to remove it. I first depressurized the fuel system by opening the gas cap and letting the Q idle while I removed the fuel pump fuse. Then I removed the cover in the trunk and pulled out the back seat and parcel shelf. Laying there in the trunk, I decided to first remove the metal fuel lines going into the pump. I grabbed a wrench and started to turn, at which point fuel sprayed -everywhere-, all over me, my face, the trunk. Any exposed skin on my body was burning. I yelled for a towel but of course no one was home. I couldnt quickly hop out since I'm a chubby guy in what isnt exactly the world's largest trunk space. Im just lucky the trunk lid didnt slam shut.

This is why I prefer to pay a professional.

[nsrZ32]

lol

I think it should be mandatory for everybody to take a simple automotive class in highschool or something so that they know the basics. Like not to put 18 quarts of oil in a focus haha.

[Gold Digger]

This guy I know back home, and have known since we were 5 years old has an older brother about three years older than we are. Well, he had just got his license and a car...86 T-bird. He took us to school one morning about a week after he got his car, when he pulled into a gas station because his . He filled up the tank, went in and paid for the gas, came out, started the car, put it in gear and drove about 1/2 a mile towards school. All of a sudden the car starts bucking then just abrubtly dies. We walk to the neares business establishment, close to the school...hey, I grew up in a really small town...and he calls his dad. Dad pics us up, takes us to school, and tells Brad he will have the car towed to the mechanic. Well, when he pics us up from school, he asks Brad, "What kind of gas did you put in the car?" "Well, I stoped in front of a gas pump, put it in and started pumping." Dad..."I want you to show me where you were."

We go to the gas station and Brad points to a lone gas pump on the far edge of the island.As we get closer, his dad says, "You do not drive anymore till you learn how to put GASOLINE into a car instead of DIESEL!"

They had to replace the engine, which Brad had to pay for.

Jerry, I agree with you, everyone should take a basic automotive class on preventive and basic maintenence. Girls are not the only one who are clueless.

[MinisterofDOOM]

You've got that right. Aside from NICO, I know more girls with basic (or advanced) automotive mechanical knowledge and skills than guys. Most guys I know outside NICO are car-enthusiast posers, who couldn't point out an alternator if you asked them to, but who have cars that are pimped out (by the local shop of course).

[driverdriver]

I don't know if you guys remember or heard of the guy with the new Dodge SX 2.0 on the Neon Forums, who was changing his oil for the first time but himself and encountered a stuck oil filter? He changed his oil by pulling the drain plug out, leaving the stuck oil filter in place, starting his ca and, I believe revving it so all the oil goes out. The idiot destroyed his engine. The post was linked to practically every auto forum on the net and had something like 100000 hits on the first day which increased in many multiples daily. That idiot with his lack of common sense made me laugh so much.

[elwesso]

I don't know if you guys remember or heard of the guy with the new Dodge SX 2.0 on the Neon Forums, who was changing his oil for the first time but himself and encountered a stuck oil filter? He changed his oil by pulling the drain plug out, leaving the stuck oil filter in place, starting his ca and, I believe revving it so all the oil goes out. The idiot destroyed his engine. The post was linked to practically every auto forum on the net and had something like 100000 hits on the first day which increased in many multiples daily. That idiot with his lack of common sense made me laugh so much.

I saw that... It was with a new neon, and he coulnt get the drain plug out.. So he took off the filter and let the oil come out by starting it.....

Thta was classic.. A retard like that shouldnt be allowed within 20 feet of a wrench...

[driverdriver]

Wes,

Thanks for setting the story straight, I was laughing so hard when the initial link came out, I kind of forgot the details.

[gniknave]

I don't know if you guys remember or heard of the guy with the new Dodge SX 2.0 on the Neon Forums, who was changing his oil for the first time but himself and encountered a stuck oil filter? He changed his oil by pulling the drain plug out, leaving the stuck oil filter in place, starting his ca and, I believe revving it so all the oil goes out. The idiot destroyed his engine. The post was linked to practically every auto forum on the net and had something like 100000 hits on the first day which increased in many multiples daily. That idiot with his lack of common sense made me laugh so much.

What a FN tard

[AZhitman]

We were in dowtown Phx, heading to a ball game. Crowded gas station near the ballpark, all pumps are being used.

Snooty-a$$ lady in a MB 3-something in a fur coat and those godawful gaudy gold-encrusted Tammy Faye glasses was bitching at a guy in a truck because he was blocking the pump.

She noses the MB up to his bumper, stretches the nozzle as far as it'll go, grouching and venting at everyone around (like we're gonna tell this big landscaper and his buddies to move their truck).

She calls him a few choice names as she yammers into her cell phone (back before EVERYONE had cell phones) and pumps her gas.

He successfully ignores her tirade, finally finishes filling the behemoth and pulls away, she's still pacing around acting psycho and yelling to anyone in earshot about what a rude and uncouth butthole this guy is.

We're all uncomfortable, praying our tanks will fill faster so we can leave.

Finally Miss Thang's pump cuts off, and she jumps in the Benz. Before anyone can say a word, we watch as she drives off with the hose still locked into the filler neck (AZ has these nifty no-fume locking nozzles).

She peels out, rips the hose out of the pump, rips a huge chunk of the rear quarter-panel out and slams on the brakes about 30 feet away.

Jumps out FURIOUS, demanding to know "Who threw something at my car! I'm calling the police!"

...and everyone at the gas station is applauding.

Pure joy.

[DAEDALUS]

Too bad the landscaper had already left. He could have left there in a much better mood than he probably did.

[D1SR240]

this kid i know threw out a rod because he was low on oil cuz he didn't check it or change it. He told he dad that he just checked the oil a week ago and that it was good. Well he got another engine and his dad's friend put it in for him, then when they were doing the final touches, they put the new oil in, and his dad asked him to check the oil to see if there was enough, well he took out the tip stick, and stuck it in the hole where you fill the oil and took it out to check.

[crzycav86]

I don't know if you guys remember or heard of the guy with the new Dodge SX 2.0 on the Neon Forums, who was changing his oil for the first time but himself and encountered a stuck oil filter? He changed his oil by pulling the drain plug out, leaving the stuck oil filter in place, starting his ca and, I believe revving it so all the oil goes out. The idiot destroyed his engine. The post was linked to practically every auto forum on the net and had something like 100000 hits on the first day which increased in many multiples daily. That idiot with his lack of common sense made me laugh so much.

Yeah.. someone linked that thread here.

There is also the guy on the s2k forums who tried to install nitrous on his car, so he drilled a hole in the valve cover and attached the nitrous feed line there. He was complaining that he couldn't feel the nitrous "hit". hahaha...

I have a bunch of stupid mechanic acts under my belt(new ones come every day), but the most memorable one came a few weeks after I had installed some suspension goodies, including a z32 vlsd.. When I installed the vlsd, i didn't install the rubber/metal washers that hold the differential to the subframe, essentially, it was being held up by the bushing itself. One day, the bushing tore and the differential dropped down, rubbing the driveshaft flange against the swaybar. This happened the day that I decided to skip my last period class, too. I was grounded for about half an hour, until I put a random bar that I found sitting in my hatch so that it would raise the differential and compress the swaybar, thus allowing me to limp home.

Moral of the story: carry random bars/tools, and don't skip school.

[Fish240]

You've got that right. Aside from NICO, I know more girls with basic (or advanced) automotive mechanical knowledge and skills than guys. Most guys I know outside NICO are car-enthusiast posers, who couldn't point out an alternator if you asked them to, but who have cars that are pimped out (by the local shop of course).

You must not have alot of guy friends. Or who knows maybe its Bizzaro world out there lol.Im in California, most girls know nothing to very little.

oh and Jesda do you have a fark username? I'm G_Fish [totalfark] on there

[elwesso]

Greg.. That was classic

[Jesda]

On Fark I'm "Jesda"

[elwesso]

jesda is quite creative when it comes to his screen names...

When he first came onto NICO, i thought it was some made up mumbo jumbo, only later to find out that it was his name...

[Looneybomber]

Long story short I tried to use myself as a mobil jack when my friend wanted to change his clutch on his truck. I had the transmission/transfer case assembly fall on my chest and the 2 bolts that bolt into the cross member slam down in my man area. I nearly cried that night.

[574-240sx]

There was this person in auto shop that changed his oil and for got to put the drain plug back in. He made it a few blocks then turned around because it was hammering so bad. It didn't make it back. Then they put a new used engine in and it took him and his buddies about a grading period to put the new used engine back it. (Yeah they are pretty slow). Their goal was to get it out before school ended. I guess each of them assumed the other already put oil in, wrong. It started knocking bad at start up. He said it breaking the engine in. My friend and me look at each other puzzled because it’s a used engine. It made it to about the same place the first engine died in. The idiot later sold the car because he refused to put in a third engine.

[s13sr20chris]

There is also the guy on the s2k forums who tried to install nitrous on his car, so he drilled a hole in the valve cover and attached the nitrous feed line there. He was complaining that he couldn't feel the nitrous "hit". hahaha....

that is my favorite. a tech at my shop was putting a timing belt in a truck and could not get the crank pulley off. so naturally he puts the oxy torch on it. heh, burned the whole crank snout off. then suddenly the truck had a bad engine and he "upsold" the motor it really needed.

[Dirtylou]

There is also the guy on the s2k forums who tried to install nitrous on his car, so he drilled a hole in the valve cover and attached the nitrous feed line there. He was complaining that he couldn't feel the nitrous "hit". hahaha...

I didn't think that anyone who would own an S2K would do such an insanely moronic act. If I actually saw his 'setup', I would powder my palm and let him have one.