Do not date anyone under 25, if you are older

[ssaniev]

she knows that I dont love her and wanna divorce her. I can tell this to her all the time, or simply accept that she is my wife until I die and try to make her happy.

So I dont go and tell her everytime I am out with other people. Yes I do go on vacation to other countries, and it is not work, but I shouldn't tell this to her face and make her miserable.

Since we are already married, and can not divorce, I choose to make her happy and live my life as well. Is there any other way?

Is that sad and truthful enough for you?

[ssaniev]

It is either living like this, or killing myself. I still want to live.

[bigbadberry3]

[Ace2cool]

Seriously? You just spilled out how you were gonna buy her a bouquet of roses and this and that and how you love her so much and she's so beautiful. Dude, you have some issues that you need to work out between the two of you.

[ssaniev]

I have never told my wife that I loved her, ever!!!! I am miserable with her. Do you understand? Miserable, and I cant divorse!!!! And I feel bad if I divorce her, because she won't find anyone to marry her in our culture. And she is an amazin women...simply amazing, I just don't love her at all.

We have found a balance in our marriage. We have. I keep her happy, and make myself happy too. I recon in 10 or 15 years I'll age enough to not run after other women, and just accept the wife as a life partner.

Like I said, I am sorry that I posted here. Simply wanted to vent.

[ssaniev]

And yes, I will buy her flowers right now. Just because the character she is.

[MellowZ32]

you clearly need professional help.
i suggest you seek it immediately.

[ssaniev]

Arranged marriages based on family saying needs professional help, not me. I am doing everything I can with what God has given me.

[MellowZ32]

Because I'm sure god is cool with adultery, right?

[ssaniev]

You tell me what would you do?

You are married to a woman you don't love and feel miserable. Your whole family, I mean the whole extended family will disown you if you divorce. The lady is a quiet, nice, cleaning cooking lady and educated. Do you make her cry with fights all the time, or do you simply give up, realize she is there in your life, and try to make the best of it?

What would you do? I choose to make her happy, my family happy, and live my life too. I will never leave her. Most marriages are like this in my culture, some are very successful, some are not. I see myself in the middle, by comparing the stories I hear from my cousins back home in my country.

Hopefully we will both find even better common ground as the years pass, and have a joyful life together. I only hope.

[Ace2cool]

Ok, so if you're 30 years old, I'd say that you could divorce whomever you please. Not like you're 18 living in your parents house.

You seem like a compulsive liar though, so I'm not sure how to take this.

You talk of arranged marriages, yet speak of God. I know certain denominations do arranged marriages, but in the vast majority Christians don't do arranged marriages. What would the consequences be for divorce? (This should be good)

[ssaniev]

I am not a christian, I am a born Muslim, and I was not born in USA. I am a Turkish man, and we put our family first. No matter what, family comes first. We never leave our families, no matter how bad it gets. We deal with it.

[ssaniev]

Anyways, ranting talking, is not going to fix my problems. Still stating to date older people because they are stable, otherwise they'll give you a headache.

[Ace2cool]

Whatever. This thread has run its course. If you want to stick around, feel free to, but don't get butthurt if people reference this if/when you post another unpopular opinion.

[Bubba1]

You asked what we would do. Don't get mad but here it comes.


You say divorce is a no-no in your religion. I'm no religious expert but I'm sure infidelity isn't endorsed either. But even if it were technically permitted, or not covered in your religion, you know it's still morally wrong and unfair to her. I suspect you'd have a big problem if she slept around like you and got pregnant by another dude, right?

You've assumed she requires you to be happy. That's probably not true. So I think you should have an honest discussion with her as an equal partner, come clean and together decide on the best plan for both of you. And by "both of you", I mean your wife and you, not you and your pen!s.