All right, I got a speeding ticket...big deal.Anyway, times went along, I plead not guilty, and court date came aroundSo I go to this weird little town of Tyre, a half up the @$$ forgotten wasteland around the town of Waterloo, NYWhy the fu*k do Americans keep stealing towns names? I don't get it...New York, New Paris, New Hampshire, New England for chirsts sakes! And now Waterloo... Napoleon is turning over in his grave by now...Anyway, So I'm on the road where the court house is supposed to be, and I can't find it. It's a literal waste land, buildings spaced apart miles at a time. So I finally see this store, called Global something, and I figure I'll go in and ask where the damn court house is... SO I park, it looks like a normal store, although the door had a sticker which said "ladies and gentlemen over 18 only, prepare to be carded," and you know I dismiss it as like a cigarette age check thing, since every store has them now...can't smoke til ur 18, can't drink til ur 21, but it's ok to die for this "freedom giving" country when ur 18. Basically u take a drag and get shot, if their plan works out well. So I open the door, step through the door, and the first thing I see on the wall opposite of me is a huge pink plastic DONG! The thing is as big as my arm, and about just as long. I go "s***!" Look around and on the left there is a huge open vagina staring at me from a wall poster. All right I say, first store I walk into in this god forsaken place is a p0rn store. I come up to the counter to ask for directions, and there are 3 people there, 2 guys and 1 girl, and once u look at them u know why they work where they do. They are the kind of people you wouldn't pick out blindfolded on a dark night out of a crowd of hobos to be your prom date. So I ask them where the court house is, and the left most guy goes, "Yeah, it's ah...right back down that road...by the gas station...You know the gas station?" I go "which gas station" He goes "The gas station...whatcha call it..Nice & Easy"... I almost chocked... Is that right? Your store is called Global something and the gas station is Nice & Easy? U sure it ain't the other way around?I leave, turn around, and drive towards Nice & Easy...I ask them where the court house is...they act as if they never heard of such a place, and then one guy goes "They hold the sessions in there sometimes" and points at some old brown wooden building across the street that has "Fire Department" written on it in big red letters... I go over there, and there is two cop cars there, and I ask one of the officers that looks vaguely familiar where the court is... He looks at me and says "Right here" and points at the same old building... I go "Here?" he says,"Yeah, park ur car." At this point I know I'm Fuc*ed, the guy recognized me after two months of briefly seeing me in profile inside my car among hundreds of others people he stopped... So I go into this Fire Station/Court hybrid building, and inside a large room, about 25 people sit on those metal lawn chairs with "Fire Dept" lettering on them. I talk to the cop, he agrees to reduce the charge, judge approves, and I get out ok. But the red fuc*ing neckness of it all has left a deep scar on my young and fragile mind...
There ya go, I told it like it was today... Anyone got some stories to share, feel free!
sil80
Court Date in Redneckville
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sil80drifter
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lessthanjakejohn
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sil80drifter
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lessthanjakejohn
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sil80drifter
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sil80drifter
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