Commute = Divorce?

[nissangirl74]

In reference to this article

http://www.thecarconnection.com/news/10 ... d+Blogs%29

the "experts" have found that commuters who drive more than 45 minutes each way are 40 percent likelier to divorce than those with shorter commutes

Call me crazy but I'm betting I could debunk that theory if I could spend some time observing these people.

Anyone here have a long commute? Did it cost you your marriage? or something else valuable?

[Razi]

My parents have long commutes.

They ended up having to spend more gas money.
It was sad... :\

[dre1507]

Lol. Razz. That theory is flawed. A longer commute might give one more time to think about their spouse.

[Ace2cool]

Longer commute, more gas used.

More gas used, more monies spent on gas.

More monies spent on gas, less monies for other married people things.

Number one reason for divorce, Finances.

BAM! I didn't read the article. I'm just posting based on what I think the article says. Sue me.

[nissangirl74]

good guess

[skydragoness]

Hmm. Whoever is home the most is probably feeling isolated (or burdened if they have to take care of kids/etc) and will look for comfort elsewhere and the one doing the commuting is depressed from their long work day compounded by a long commute (NJ turnpike hell is what comes to mind) so that they don't have the energy/time to give to their spouse once they get home. IMHO, maybe finding a place closer to their spouse's work place is the most important. I don't know how some people endure 1-2hr commutes unless they're just temporary.

[Bubba1]

In reference to this article

http://www.thecarconnection.com/news/10 ... d+Blogs%29

the "experts" have found that commuters who drive more than 45 minutes each way are 40 percent likelier to divorce than those with shorter commutes

Call me crazy but I'm betting I could debunk that theory if I could spend some time observing these people.

Anyone here have a long commute? Did it cost you your marriage? or something else valuable?

I had a miserable commute for a year when I first got married (before cell phones or EZPass and before kids/pets). Trenton to SouthKearny NJ (up/down the dreaded Rt.1 corridor + the infamous NJturnpike - two of the busier roads in the country: 120 miles round trip daily. It did negatively impact my marriage to the point that I felt I had to change jobs to protect my marriage and health
I must admit breaking the Buick land speed record daily on both roads in heavy traffic was entertaining at times but it was draining both mentally and physically. It really wasn't the gas/tolls or wear on the cars that was worst, it was the reduced awake time together. I was much happier making a little less money in exchange for seeing my wife more.

[themadscientist]

In reference to this article

http://www.thecarconnection.com/news/10 ... d+Blogs%29

the "experts" have found that commuters who drive more than 45 minutes each way are 40 percent likelier to divorce than those with shorter commutes

Call me crazy but I'm betting I could debunk that theory if I could spend some time observing these people.

Anyone here have a long commute? Did it cost you your marriage? or something else valuable?

I spent an hour on the road to work and then an hour back home. I go to work because they pay me to. I go home because I want to.

Statistics are neat, but they never tell the whole story.

[Dattebayo]

Day in and day out of traffic can put someone in a bad mood, and people often take stuff out on their spouse even when they don't mean to.

The study didn't site how long you have to be married to someone before the commute thing takes affect on the marriage, either, so you newlyweds are probably not relevant to this study.

[themadscientist]

If you are taking things out on your spouse you are an immature tool who is not happy in your relationship. The commute is a trigger on an already armed bomb.

Traffic puts me in a homicidal mood. I passed a guy using the shoulder this morning at about 60 mph. When I get home and I see my wife's smile that s*** fades away instantly.

[Dattebayo]

If you are taking things out on your spouse you are an immature tool who is not happy in your relationship. The commute is a trigger on an already armed b0mb.

Everyone can't be held up to your mechanical standard, sir.

[themadscientist]

Sure they can. They are just too lazy or satisfied with their current reality to seek improvement. I'm a work in progress like anyone else. I make my mistakes, but most of what I know is because I did it different before and learned a valuable lesson. I'm an explosive, violent guy, but I would never hit my wife. Even my first wife, as much as she drove me crazy, was never a victim of physical abuse. Now, mind games, sure. I am a zen master of that crap.

I'll tell you this. If you are smacking your spouse around the problem is the relationship and not what you would try to blame it on. Fix your relationship or GTFO. Don't be afraid to be alone if you can't find someone who gets you for who you are.

[Dattebayo]

Who said anything about hitting your wife?

[Encryptshun]

If it's a time/abandonment thing, what I don't get is why they focus on the commute instead of on total time spent away from home. You could make the argument that working longer hours somehow results in more money (per hour or by having a job with a higher base salary) but that's not always true. And working 10 hour days with a 1 hour commute is the same as working 12 hours days across the street.

My average time spent between my office and my daily commute is roughly 15 hours each day. My commute is 90 minutes one-way and I end up spending at least 12 hours in the office. As a result, I leave home by 6:30am every day and I get home around 9:00 pm or later. That does put an unfair burden on my wife, who ends up having to do all the cooking (because if I cooked when I got home, we'd be eating at 10:00 at night). I feel terrible about the fact she has to do more than her fair share, but it actually makes us appreciate the time we do get to spend together that much more. You really don't take your partner for granted so much when you only see her 1.5 - 2 hours a day.

[gwoods]

Longer commute = more time to talk to your spouse while driving before you get home and start your second job (kids/house)

communication is the key to staying together

[elwesso]

I think woods and tms are on the right track.. Most people that blame failing marriages or relationships on stuff like that probably shouldn't have gotten together in the first place..