Best (true) Drunk Tale

[gwoods]

Reading a recent post about a ticket that was never filed got me thinking about some of the stupid trouble my friends have been in while drinking.

I would like to hear others stories. This is my fav, from a former employee first job out of college.

The gang was at a house party near Arizona State. One roomate doesn't come home. Everyone assumes he hooked up. Then the next morning they get a call to come pick him up from jail. Buzzkill, they go bail him and bring him home he is a little beat up but has no memory of what happened and is charged with public intoxication and disturbing the peace. He gets his day in court and learns what he was up to. He had climbed the fence and was in the courtyard of one of the dorms yelling and being crazy. Someone called campus Police who asked him for id. He reached in his pocket and handed them a ping pong ball. They tossed it and asked again, he reached in his pocket and produced a second ping pong ball. They toss it and ask again he reached in his pocket found nothing and ran. They tackled him. No one knows where the ping pong balls came from. story makes me laugh everytime.

[frapjap]

One time, I watched a brown guy using a shrub as a Lazy-Boy fall through it and onto the ground after the branches got bored of holding his weight.

[Rager]

Ahhhhh this could turn into an epic drunk story thread ...... the time i was 19 and u had two girks i know the shower with me at my parents summer house and my mom came into the bathroom asking where nichole and suzy(i think that was her name ) i said i wasnt sure....not until after did i realize all of our clothes were on the bathroom floor for her to see ....my mother never mentioned a word about it

[PapaSmurf2k3]

I had a party once and my roommate and her boyfriend broke up or something. The dude sped away in a car, came back to my house, broke in around 3am and stole all my booze. He then proceeded to drink it in my driveway and then decided he wanted to drive home (about an hour and a half away). He made it a solid mile before rolling his car off a bridge, getting ejected in the process. Only his dumb a** got hurt, no one else. He lost his ear to road rash and was in a coma for a week.

What a dumbass. Makes me laugh every time.

I have a lot more up-beat stories too

[Heavy]

this one time I had a few beers and slam danced in the back of a potato chip delivery truck. this one time was last saturday. oh and i forgot to mention all this was happening while in transit

[Bubba1]

this one time I had a few beers and slam danced in the back of a potato chip delivery truck. this one time was last saturday. oh and i forgot to mention all this was happening while in transit

I have too many list. One of the typical ones of mine happened while in college. Myself and 3 buddies we went to a Phillies home game many years ago at the old Veterans stadium. We were in the infamous 700 level (nose bleed) seats deep in right field. After a lot of liquid courage, one of my buddies decided he wanted to ask "Mary Sue" the hot 1st base ball girl out on a date. So he recruited one of the other guys to help as blocker. My friend and I stayed behind as we had a perfect view. Naturally we began spreading the word to anyone and everyone around us what they were planning. By the time the pair reached the reserved section, our entire section and the surrounding sections were eagerly watching them do their magic. They quickly snuck past security and made to the 1st base line fence and actually got to speak with Mary Sue for about 30 seconds. The cheering started swelling quickly as we saw the security guards start closing in on them but they trouble catching the guys. It was like watching a live game of PACman unfold as they jumped seats and ran down aisles avoiding capture. The longer they stayed free the bigger the cheering got. I think the entire stadium began cheering for the guys. Eventually the security guys gang tackled the pair, and in true Philadelphia tradition, the stadium was rocking with boo's...

We figured the two were going to get tossed out of the stadium. Since I had the keys to the car, we decided to hang out and finish our beers. But we were amazed when a short while later, the pair appeared back at our section with fresh beers in hand. They got a huge ovation from the 700 level crowd.

Memorable day and a true story.

[370Z/28]

We were at a party at a friend's house and he passed out. Somehow we all got the idea to "autograph" his back with Sharpie markers. It was like that for a while till he caught a glimps of his back in the bathroom mirror. After that, his wife was instructed to hide all Sharpie markers when we came over. He said it took him forever to get it all scrubbed off.



Moral of story, don't ever be the first one to pass out.

[Jesda]

One time, I watched a brown guy using a shrub as a Lazy-Boy fall through it and onto the ground after the branches got bored of holding his weight.

Natural furniture is vastly inferior to manmade steel.


This is why I believe in high fructose corn syrup as the answer to America's problems.

[DJ_B_Easy]

Back story: Was dating a girl we will call "Jen" for maybe 6 months. We had been friends for a while beforehand. She ended up never breaking up with her ex while we were "together", I found out and that was that.

Drunk story: One of my good friends had started dating one of Jen's best friends. I go to his house one Friday for some debauchery and Jen is there with her friend. Its akward all night, so we all get pretty plastered and end up crashing there. Jen is on the floor, I was on the couch near her. Now I dont remember doing any of this, but apparently I had to pee during the night. Now Ive been known to drunk sleep walk and corner/drawer pee every so often. So, instead of going to the bathroom, I stood up, unzipped, and R Kellyed Jen's face. Story goes that she asked if I was serious as she could hear it splashing out of her ear and I replied, "Huh huh, yeah." We havent seen each other or spoken since.

[BusyBadger]

When I lived in Germany I was a bar guy and not a club guy, even at the ripe old age of 20. There was a small, out of the way place I liked - it was maybe 5 kilometers off post. I went one Thursday night after an incredibly crappy week to find that there weren't any open tables. I ended up at a table with an older German guy (most of the customers were German, not American) and after some bad attempts at conversing in German he had mercy on me and switched to English. It turned out he was a reserve officer in the German army and soon we were buying each other drinks, then we started trading them.

I was pretty gone by the end of the night but somehow managed to ride home and make it to my bunk. I woke up the next morning and had the worst headache I had ever had (and I'm a migraine sufferer) and ended up going on sick call and ended up getting a B-complex shot and some aspirin from the dispensary. I found myself back at the bar a week or so later and a couple of the staff recognized me, and one waitress said,'Oh, you're ok...we wondered if you were coming back!" I said something like, "Yeah, I don't know what I drank, but don't let me do it again, at least not as much."

I remember her looking at me and laughing, then telling me the whole story. It wasn't what I drank...I flipped over a handrail when I left the bar and hit my head on a cobblestone.

[370Z/28]

[float_6969]

When I lived in Germany I was a bar guy and not a club guy, even at the ripe old age of 20. There was a small, out of the way place I liked - it was maybe 5 kilometers off post. I went one Thursday night after an incredibly crappy week to find that there weren't any open tables. I ended up at a table with an older German guy (most of the customers were German, not American) and after some bad attempts at conversing in German he had mercy on me and switched to English. It turned out he was a reserve officer in the German army and soon we were buying each other drinks, then we started trading them.

I was pretty gone by the end of the night but somehow managed to ride home and make it to my bunk. I woke up the next morning and had the worst headache I had ever had (and I'm a migraine sufferer) and ended up going on sick call and ended up getting a B-complex shot and some aspirin from the dispensary. I found myself back at the bar a week or so later and a couple of the staff recognized me, and one waitress said,'Oh, you're ok...we wondered if you were coming back!" I said something like, "Yeah, I don't know what I drank, but don't let me do it again, at least not as much."

I remember her looking at me and laughing, then telling me the whole story. It wasn't what I drank...I flipped over a handrail when I left the bar and hit my head on a cobblestone.

This is my fav so far

[PapaSmurf2k3]

I got bombed and nailed a chick on an air hockey table while it was on. That was pretty sweet.

More recently I awoke to a large box fort in my living room, which a friend and me had drunkenly built at 4am the night before. Neither of us remembered doing it, but then we found construction pictures on my camera. I believe they are on FB. We also discovered that I put my racing helmet on and played playstation (GT5??) from within said box fort.

[DJ_B_Easy]

Here's another, with video to boot.

Self explanatory. If you are night drinking on the beach in an area where it is illegal, do this.

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.ph ... 0112&saved

We actually had two separate police officers approach us looking for booze and they did not find the cooler, obviously.

[float_6969]

LOL, that's great.

[s0m3th1ngAZ]

Getting drunk with SEALs at a bonfire on San Clemente island after spending the day shooting MP5's in the Slaughterhouse. Our little detachment of 20 went through 9600 rounds of 9mm that day and we all got rifle qualified. One of the officers hooked us the f*** up.

[PapaSmurf2k3]

Here's another, with video to boot.

OH MY GOD that reminds me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nah1YtMYKnE

My a** bone hurt for WEEKS.

[DJ_B_Easy]

HA! What the hell happened, there? Looks like you over rotated.

[float_6969]

Here's another, with video to boot.

OH MY GOD that reminds me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nah1YtMYKnE

My a** bone hurt for WEEKS.

Bahhahhhaahh!!! That's great. Watching people fall down will ALWAYS be funny.

[PapaSmurf2k3]

My toes caught the fence and sent me rotating. I was a** on the ground before I knew it.

I just remember everyone laughing and my friend yelling "YESS!!!! YESSSS!!!!"

It always reminds me of:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhh4KEYWIuQ

Skip to :50.

[davidoliva]

Reading a recent post about a ticket that was never filed got me thinking about some of the stupid trouble my friends have been in while drinking.

uhh ok; my post wasn't "stupid"...i was just late is all. Not sure how my post inspired a "list all the stupid things youve done" topic but w/e different strokes for different folks i guess

[bigbadberry3]

I need more tldrs in here

[float_6969]

Reading a recent post about a ticket that was never filed got me thinking about some of the stupid trouble my friends have been in while drinking.

uhh ok; my post wasn't "stupid"...i was just late is all. Not sure how my post inspired a "list all the stupid things youve done" topic but w/e different strokes for different folks i guess

? I think you're taking something personally, that wasn't meant that way.