BEST. CRAIGSLIST. AD. EVER.

[Dano]

http://semo.craigslist.org/cto/1672654758.html

2002 Focus – good reliable first car - $2000 (Cape Girardeau)Date: 2010-04-01, 10:33PM CDTReply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for a first car for a teen? This car is absolutely brilliant. It’s got low mileage (68k), has been super reliable, and is excellent on gas. Since you’re likely paying for the gas, this will make things much cheaper on you. I average like 37MPG to a tank. And with such low mileage, it’ll work great for a long long time.

But you wanna know the best reason to buy this car for your kid?

It’s slow as ****. You don’t have to worry about speeding tickets or accidents in this baby. Your kid could have a 1 mile run and hit a brick wall not wearing a seatbelt and not be going fast enough to do ****. And there won’t be any sense in him getting some s***ty *** fart can off of eBay – this car has the super slow SPI engine, no sense in trying to make it any faster. It’s a 4-door, so your kid won’t try to put gay *** Lambo doors on it. It is still possible to fit this with a body kit, but if you’d like, for an extra $200, I can stab him in the face if he does this.

It’s a 5-speed, so your kid can’t talk on his cell phone while playing Gameboy and smoking pot – he’ll have to actually pay attention. It also means you won’t have to pay for an automatic transmission when your kid beats the hell out of it. It’s got a new clutch and new tires, so you’ll know if he does burnouts. After all, I’m sure YOU’RE the one paying for tires, right? It’s got an aftermarket head unit in it, so your kid won’t **** it up when him and his buddies try to wire in a “phat *** system”. It’s already had the speakers replaced too, so he won’t have to tear the door cards on and then look like a retard when he can’t get them back on. It’s got manual windows too, so he can’t **** up the window motors when he rolls one of his friends heads up in it as a joke. A new battery means when he leaves his headlights on, it won’t leave you totally stranded.

But really though, one of the best parts is that, because it is a 4 door, it will be somewhat embarrassing for him to be seen in. I’m sure you get pissed at him from time to time. Hell, you’re probably mad at him for harassing you into buying him a first car. So get this one. It has no A/C, so you’ll know he’s suffering every time you get mad at him. Pretty satisfying. It’ll bring a smile to your face too, to know he’s rolling around looking like a f***** in a Ford Focus.

So buy this car for your kid. You won’t regret it

[billabong093]

Rofllllll Thats so good

[gmac708]

[dasoupdude]

oh God

[Otto.]

I lol'd

[asoomal]

EPIC.

[Dire91]

Someone please contact this person if they are close. I want to meet the genius who wrote this.

[Dire91]

Someone please contact this person if they are close. I want to meet the genius who wrote this.

[asoomal]

^^ We get it.

[Loki]

I want more. Has this fellow written a book?

[dre1507]

excellent sales pitch.

[glitched]

i'm sold. if i had a kid i was buying a car for, this would be it.

[hatedinthemind]

yes

[danield319]

this mans straight to the point

[Travisty]

This guy is a genius, seriously

[bobotech]

LOL, love the ad

[Bmore-coupe]

[Solar_Runner]

Who can resist a sales pitch like that!

[naladude911]

damm, there are two kids at school with ford focuses of the same year. One is a hatch and one is a sedan. Im tempted to show them this

[numbnuts240]

shut up.

[sx moneypit]

shut up.

He needs to see your comments you posted yesterday about his birthday.It was great!

[Xdisaster240sX]

[car nut]

Im tempted to show them this

And I'm tempted to show them every single one of your posts on this site.

[MellowZ32]

I think you found the perfect car for Gir.

[93coupe]

I think you found the perfect car for Gir.

Gir doesn't have a job. He can't afford this.

[MellowZ32]

but he is doing chores around the house!I'm sure his mom will buy it for him... and pay for gas... and insurance....and maintenance.

[Ajax]

That's perhaps one of the most intelligent people ever from Cape Girardeau- I went to college there (Rush Limbaugh flunked out of SEMO- but his face is still on the damn flood wall).Pure Awesome

[hitbychance]

that ad is full of win!

[ABNRML4U]

"It is still possible to fit this with a body kit, but if you’d like, for an extra $200, I can stab him in the face if he does this."

[Pento240sx]

This guy is pure WIN.