BEST COMEBACK RESPONSE OF THE YEAR

[zozoka1212]

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp asthis policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during afelony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman'scredibility...

Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?' A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the descriptionof the offender, running several blocks away.' Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?' A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.' Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.Do you trust your fellow officers?' A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.' Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a roomwhere you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?' A: 'Yes sir, we do!' Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?' A: 'Yes sir, I do.' Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?' A: 'Yes sir.' Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with yourlife, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share withthese same officers?' A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, andsometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.' The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. Theofficer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line-- and we think he'll win.

[BrandAidDesignG35]

That's perfect

[smockers83]

Haha, nice!

Here's another lawyer joke.

It was a sad day on Earth as the Pope died as did a lawyer. Both of them are raised up to Heaven and are greeted by St. Peter. St. Peter says, "Welcome Pope and lawyer, glad you guys are here!"

The Pope responds, "I am eternally grateful to be in your presence. Thank you, Lord."

The lawyer responds as well, "I am very grateful as well."

St. Peter says to them, "C'mon, let me show you guys where you're going to living for the rest of eternity."

They start out walking in this beautiful field, the most beautiful field one could ever see. Along the path are these beautiful grass-covered huts. Peter turns to the Pope, and says, "Pope, this is where you will be staying."

The Pope replies, "Thank you Lord, I am eternally grateful. This is the most beautiful hut. I could not ask for more."

The three of them continue on down the path, which starts going up the hill. They get to a gated area and inside is this huge, beautiful mansion. Peter turns to the lawyer and says, "This is where you're going to be staying for the rest of eternity."

The Pope is dumbfounded. He says to Peter, "But St. Peter, I am a Pope. Why do I get a grass hut and he gets this beautiful mansion. What's going on here? There must be some mistake!"

St. Peter replies, "No, no, there's no mistake. This is the first lawyer we've gotten, we already have tons of popes."

[zozoka1212]

bahahahahah

Good one.

[SVTCOBRA]

Good ones!! Need a laugh today......or a winning lottery ticket!!!

[BrandAidDesignG35]

Nice one, I never saw it coming

[Kendahl]

A short one:

Question: Why is it safe for a lawyer to swim in shark infested waters?

Answer: Professional courtesy.

[telcoman]

Good one

David's in the hospital. Room 232

Ok, you are asking who in the hell is 'David'.

Here is his story...

David gets home late one night and, Linda, his wife says,"Where in the hell have you been?"

David replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" she said, shaking her head in disgust.

"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?'"

"Well,

One, I like to watch my money grow."

Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.

Three, I like how money feels in my hand.

And, lastly,instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

David is recovering in room 232 at the Hospital!

Telcoman

[mbock76]

HAHAA Love that last one