Beer Troubleshooting Flow Chart

[Zydeco]

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING FLOW CHART

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to ladies room, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about its house training.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself lashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and laughs.FAULT: You are dancing on the table.ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal clear.FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.FAULT: You have been in a fight.ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.FAULT: The beer is too weak.ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.FAULT: Beer is just right.ACTION: Play air guitar.

[corn322]

hahahhahaha good stuff.

[MidwayParts]

I can totally relate to some of those.

[SmithSR]

:rockon

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.FAULT: Beer is just right.ACTION: Play air guitar

I love it!!

[MainEvent212]

:rockon

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.FAULT: Beer is just right.ACTION: Play air guitar

I love it!!

i live it <=me