This was a nightmare for me as well. There is a whole post around here somewhere where I was hunting that plug down (turned out it was hiding under the fuse box) with pics and everything. This was on a S13 though.
If you dont have those wires jumpered, the car wont start no matter what you do. Worry about those first and then think about solving other issues if there are any.
EDIT: by the way, on the S13 at least the wire colors are black/yellow and black/white (top of this diagram, plug E12):
go here for a bigger pic of the diagram:
http://www.afreeimagehost.com/...g.JPG
They could be different on the S14 but I would doublecheck the colors you're looking for.... And find a S14 wiring diagram (if its different, I dont know if it is) to track it down. Its not to hard once you know where to look...
Good luck dude.