an interesting story
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Onizuka
- Posts: 8450
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89 Nissan S14 hatch SR20DE
an interesting story
"I decided the design office I work in needed some excitement so I bought 240 plastic cowboys, Indians and soldiers and at 5:30 a.m. taped them to the tops of all the cubicle panels in little battles. When people arrived that day they were a little freaked out by the pretend destruction portrayed around the office. After 6 months I noticed that they started disappearing. When half of the little plastic brawlers were missing - I received a ransom note in random fonts instructing me to bring in doughnuts or I would never see them alive again. After doing a little math I determined that 120 plastic army men are not worth as much as several dozen donuts. Therefore, I didn't respond or bring them what they wanted. Next thing, all the cowboys and Indians were missing and a ransom note insisted that if I wanted to see them alive again, I must bring in pizza for lunch on Friday -- which I didn't. On my drafting table the following Monday morning was the largest mass grave for little plastic army men I've ever had the pleasure of visiting. Not only were all their limbs and heads removed from their torsos, but their parts were glued atop little posts poking through a piece of wood in a sacrificial style with red paint dripping onto my desk. The horror, the inhumanity - it took two years to find out who did it - and was the guy sitting right next to me."
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Onizuka
- Posts: 8450
- Joined: Wed Nov 06, 2002 5:24 pm
- Car: 91 Nissan S13 coupe SR20DET
89 Nissan S14 hatch SR20DE
another one
"I used to drive a truck for a bakery and delivered to warehouses in an area comprising all of northern Texas and portions of the Oklahoma Panhandle five nights a week. Along about 3 a.m., I'd get drowsy and find a wide spot on the shoulder of one of those back roads and cradle my head with my arms on the steering wheel and take a short nap with the engine still running for the heater and the lights on. One of the other drivers saw me doing this one night and decided to "have some fun." He turned around and parked his truck directly in front of mine facing me with his head lights on, not quite three feet from my front bumper, and blew his air horn. It's a good thing I have a strong heart is all I can say. When I heard that horn, I came awake with a start, sat up, saw what looked to me to be an ongoing, head-on collision and started jerking on the steering wheel and stomping on the brakes. He was laughing so hard he couldn't get his door open when I jumped out and demanded to know just what the bloody blue heck he thought he was doing. I was not amused at the time. I still chuckle when I think of it. There have been others, but I think that has to be the funniest to ever be pulled on me. I never left my motor running when I took a little steering wheel nap after that. "
"I used to drive a truck for a bakery and delivered to warehouses in an area comprising all of northern Texas and portions of the Oklahoma Panhandle five nights a week. Along about 3 a.m., I'd get drowsy and find a wide spot on the shoulder of one of those back roads and cradle my head with my arms on the steering wheel and take a short nap with the engine still running for the heater and the lights on. One of the other drivers saw me doing this one night and decided to "have some fun." He turned around and parked his truck directly in front of mine facing me with his head lights on, not quite three feet from my front bumper, and blew his air horn. It's a good thing I have a strong heart is all I can say. When I heard that horn, I came awake with a start, sat up, saw what looked to me to be an ongoing, head-on collision and started jerking on the steering wheel and stomping on the brakes. He was laughing so hard he couldn't get his door open when I jumped out and demanded to know just what the bloody blue heck he thought he was doing. I was not amused at the time. I still chuckle when I think of it. There have been others, but I think that has to be the funniest to ever be pulled on me. I never left my motor running when I took a little steering wheel nap after that. "
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Onizuka
- Posts: 8450
- Joined: Wed Nov 06, 2002 5:24 pm
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89 Nissan S14 hatch SR20DE
yet another
"We own a computer sales and repair store in Viera, Florida. As you will find in most computer repair operations, we have a wide variety of used and broken computers and computer parts. One of our customers was unfortunate enough to have backed over his laptop computer with a Jeep and asked if we could repair it. Fortunately, he didn't take our uproarious laughter personally and left the smashed machine with us as a "what not to do to a computer" show and tell item. As luck would have it, a few days later another one of our regular (and, thankfully, good natured) customers brought in his beloved business laptop for a minor upgrade. We took it to the back of the shop did the repair and swapped it with the smashed "show and tell" model. As I was walking back into the showroom with his pride and joy, I did the fake tripping routine and dropped the smashed laptop very convincingly onto our tile over concrete floor. Parts were flying everywhere! All Mr. Customer could do was stand there with his eyes wide and say, "Oh my God, Oh my God! What have you done? Can you fix it?" Needless to say we all got a good laugh, including Mr. Customer who was relieved to the point of tears that his baby was not the one in hundreds of pieces on the floor."
"We own a computer sales and repair store in Viera, Florida. As you will find in most computer repair operations, we have a wide variety of used and broken computers and computer parts. One of our customers was unfortunate enough to have backed over his laptop computer with a Jeep and asked if we could repair it. Fortunately, he didn't take our uproarious laughter personally and left the smashed machine with us as a "what not to do to a computer" show and tell item. As luck would have it, a few days later another one of our regular (and, thankfully, good natured) customers brought in his beloved business laptop for a minor upgrade. We took it to the back of the shop did the repair and swapped it with the smashed "show and tell" model. As I was walking back into the showroom with his pride and joy, I did the fake tripping routine and dropped the smashed laptop very convincingly onto our tile over concrete floor. Parts were flying everywhere! All Mr. Customer could do was stand there with his eyes wide and say, "Oh my God, Oh my God! What have you done? Can you fix it?" Needless to say we all got a good laugh, including Mr. Customer who was relieved to the point of tears that his baby was not the one in hundreds of pieces on the floor."
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Onizuka
- Posts: 8450
- Joined: Wed Nov 06, 2002 5:24 pm
- Car: 91 Nissan S13 coupe SR20DET
89 Nissan S14 hatch SR20DE
"At Cambridge they have a day where all the university students pull pranks. A student went up to some workmen working on the road and said that some students were going to dress up as cops and try to arrest them. The workmen thanked him and carried on with their work. The student then immediately called the police to say students dressed as workmen were tearing up the road. The cops went to the workmen and tried to arrest them. The workmen thinking the cops were students were resisting. Imagine how baffled the cops were when the workmen said they would call the cops. The cops replied that the cops are already here. Well, the other set of cops arrived and started to arrest the cops that were there in the first place. The cops that were there first were utterly baffled by this. Finally with everyone trying to arrest everyone else one of the workmen looked down the street and saw the student that had originally tipped him off hysterically laughing. The student was fined several hundred pounds."
I dont know, the story is british or something~~:D
I dont know, the story is british or something~~:D
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Onizuka
- Posts: 8450
- Joined: Wed Nov 06, 2002 5:24 pm
- Car: 91 Nissan S13 coupe SR20DET
89 Nissan S14 hatch SR20DE
this one is dedicated to my freind who just seriously *****ed up his car. :pface
"The reason there are so many traffic accidents is that there aren't nearly enough traffic accidents.
The paragraph above represents the kind of in-depth thinking that goes on here at Car Talk Plaza.
And what we have here is possibly a Zen koan, maybe just an interesting paradox, or perhaps simply the raving of a crazy old man. You be the judge.
But first, allow me to explain.
If you take the time (as I did) to look up the definition of "accident," you'll discover that it means an unforeseen—or unexpected—event. Thus, if an event is foreseen or expected, by definition it isn't an accident. But unforeseen by whom? If the "incident" is unforeseen by some snot-nosed teenager, can it be considered an actual accident? Or was it simply unforeseen by someone who unforesees just about everything and therefore doesn't count—and therefore IS foreseen and therefore is not an accident?
My contention is this: most of the automobile "incidents" that we typically refer to as "accidents" aren't really accidents at all, simply because you'd have to be a complete moron to NOT expect them. Allow me, if you will, to elucidate.
We have certain mechanisms in place to help prevent—or at least reduce the likelihood of—accidents: stop signs, traffic lights, speed limits, tailgating laws, etc. Nearly all—if not all—traffic incidents occur because someone is violating or disregarding one or more of these rules, laws, etc.
Now consider the number of times that you have disregarded or violated one of these rules. These are rules that have been designed to prevent accidents. These rules are not frivolous. They mostly make sense. What they say is this: "Violate the rule and you'll probably have an accident." Therefore, if you violate the rule, a reasonable and prudent person should EXPECT to have an accident (I mean "incident").
You go through a stop sign. If an accident is the expected result, then is it an accident if you hit someone? Of course not. It's an accident (an unexpected result) if you DON'T hit someone! Are you with me? Good.
So, why do so many people disregard the laws? Why do so many people so often disregard commonsense rules? Answer: Because they get away with it so often—without, as they say, incident. And because they do it so often without incident, there are accidents. If they didn't get away with it as often, they would be more careful and there would be fewer accidents! Thus:
There are so many accidents because there aren't enough accidents.
It really does make perfect sense, doesn't it?
The prescriptive advice, then, is quite obvious. In order to reduce the number of accidents, we must have more accidents.
I warned you that we were talking "deep thinking," didn't I?
Are You Doing Your Part?
You must do your part. I can see the bumper sticker now: "Do your part! Hit someone today!"
The next time someone goes through a stop sign, don't slam on the brakes. Hit him!
The next time some jerk cuts you off, don't swerve into the curb. Smash into her!
And be sure to perform these acts of bravery and selflessness at times that will cause the most disruption. No sense getting all smashed up at 2 a.m., when there's no one around to get the message. Rush-hour traffic is best.
Every day there must be complete and utter disruption on the roads during rush hour.
The insurance companies will ultimately be eternally grateful to you. You'll be getting a letter that says something like this:
Dear Brave and Selfless Driver:
Global International Assurance and Fidelity Investment Corporation would like to thank you for doing your part in reducing the number of highway accidents by contributing to the Click and Clack "more accidents" policy. As such, you have been enrolled in the "Basically Wonderful Person" Hall of Fame.
As a company—and a corporate world citizen—Global will be forever indebted to you for your selfless acts which will ultimately make the world a better place. It is individuals like yourself—people who think not of their own safety, but for the long-term "good" of humanity—who make it worthwhile for me to get up and go to work each day. "
see my freind knew he would crash (going too fast) WHAHAHAHAA so funny.
"The reason there are so many traffic accidents is that there aren't nearly enough traffic accidents.
The paragraph above represents the kind of in-depth thinking that goes on here at Car Talk Plaza.
And what we have here is possibly a Zen koan, maybe just an interesting paradox, or perhaps simply the raving of a crazy old man. You be the judge.
But first, allow me to explain.
If you take the time (as I did) to look up the definition of "accident," you'll discover that it means an unforeseen—or unexpected—event. Thus, if an event is foreseen or expected, by definition it isn't an accident. But unforeseen by whom? If the "incident" is unforeseen by some snot-nosed teenager, can it be considered an actual accident? Or was it simply unforeseen by someone who unforesees just about everything and therefore doesn't count—and therefore IS foreseen and therefore is not an accident?
My contention is this: most of the automobile "incidents" that we typically refer to as "accidents" aren't really accidents at all, simply because you'd have to be a complete moron to NOT expect them. Allow me, if you will, to elucidate.
We have certain mechanisms in place to help prevent—or at least reduce the likelihood of—accidents: stop signs, traffic lights, speed limits, tailgating laws, etc. Nearly all—if not all—traffic incidents occur because someone is violating or disregarding one or more of these rules, laws, etc.
Now consider the number of times that you have disregarded or violated one of these rules. These are rules that have been designed to prevent accidents. These rules are not frivolous. They mostly make sense. What they say is this: "Violate the rule and you'll probably have an accident." Therefore, if you violate the rule, a reasonable and prudent person should EXPECT to have an accident (I mean "incident").
You go through a stop sign. If an accident is the expected result, then is it an accident if you hit someone? Of course not. It's an accident (an unexpected result) if you DON'T hit someone! Are you with me? Good.
So, why do so many people disregard the laws? Why do so many people so often disregard commonsense rules? Answer: Because they get away with it so often—without, as they say, incident. And because they do it so often without incident, there are accidents. If they didn't get away with it as often, they would be more careful and there would be fewer accidents! Thus:
There are so many accidents because there aren't enough accidents.
It really does make perfect sense, doesn't it?
The prescriptive advice, then, is quite obvious. In order to reduce the number of accidents, we must have more accidents.
I warned you that we were talking "deep thinking," didn't I?
Are You Doing Your Part?
You must do your part. I can see the bumper sticker now: "Do your part! Hit someone today!"
The next time someone goes through a stop sign, don't slam on the brakes. Hit him!
The next time some jerk cuts you off, don't swerve into the curb. Smash into her!
And be sure to perform these acts of bravery and selflessness at times that will cause the most disruption. No sense getting all smashed up at 2 a.m., when there's no one around to get the message. Rush-hour traffic is best.
Every day there must be complete and utter disruption on the roads during rush hour.
The insurance companies will ultimately be eternally grateful to you. You'll be getting a letter that says something like this:
Dear Brave and Selfless Driver:
Global International Assurance and Fidelity Investment Corporation would like to thank you for doing your part in reducing the number of highway accidents by contributing to the Click and Clack "more accidents" policy. As such, you have been enrolled in the "Basically Wonderful Person" Hall of Fame.
As a company—and a corporate world citizen—Global will be forever indebted to you for your selfless acts which will ultimately make the world a better place. It is individuals like yourself—people who think not of their own safety, but for the long-term "good" of humanity—who make it worthwhile for me to get up and go to work each day. "
see my freind knew he would crash (going too fast) WHAHAHAHAA so funny.
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Onizuka
- Posts: 8450
- Joined: Wed Nov 06, 2002 5:24 pm
- Car: 91 Nissan S13 coupe SR20DET
89 Nissan S14 hatch SR20DE
i like this one
"A middle-aged guy had just been dumped by his wife. So, he decides to go out and buy a shiny, new red BMW Z-3 convertible. He's driving along at 80 mph, when he sees a flashing light on a police car in the rear view mirror.
"What the hell, he can't keep up with a BMW," he thinks to himself. So he floors it.
A few minutes later, he's overcome with guilt. "Hey! What am I doing," he thinks? And he slows down and pulls over.
The cop asks him for his license, and walks around the car while he examines both. When the cop gets back to the driver's door, he says, "It's Friday the thirteenth. My shift is just about over. I'm tired and I want to go home. If you can give me a good excuse, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a split second and says…
"My wife just ran away with a policeman. I thought you were trying to give her back."
"A middle-aged guy had just been dumped by his wife. So, he decides to go out and buy a shiny, new red BMW Z-3 convertible. He's driving along at 80 mph, when he sees a flashing light on a police car in the rear view mirror.
"What the hell, he can't keep up with a BMW," he thinks to himself. So he floors it.
A few minutes later, he's overcome with guilt. "Hey! What am I doing," he thinks? And he slows down and pulls over.
The cop asks him for his license, and walks around the car while he examines both. When the cop gets back to the driver's door, he says, "It's Friday the thirteenth. My shift is just about over. I'm tired and I want to go home. If you can give me a good excuse, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a split second and says…
"My wife just ran away with a policeman. I thought you were trying to give her back."
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AznRide
- Posts: 924
- Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2002 5:36 pm
- Car: Cars, hondas, import cars, girls, cars, girls, girls, and more beautiful girls.
J-Spec Tuner wrote:i like this one
"A middle-aged guy had just been dumped by his wife. So, he decides to go out and buy a shiny, new red BMW Z-3 convertible. He's driving along at 80 mph, when he sees a flashing light on a police car in the rear view mirror.
"What the hell, he can't keep up with a BMW," he thinks to himself. So he floors it.
A few minutes later, he's overcome with guilt. "Hey! What am I doing," he thinks? And he slows down and pulls over.
The cop asks him for his license, and walks around the car while he examines both. When the cop gets back to the driver's door, he says, "It's Friday the thirteenth. My shift is just about over. I'm tired and I want to go home. If you can give me a good excuse, I'll let you go."
The guy thinks for a split second and says…
"My wife just ran away with a policeman. I thought you were trying to give her back."
LOL, I really LOL for this one.
Hah, this is funny as hell. I was reading it in school computer lab. started laughing outloud. people were looking at me funny. o well.J-Spec Tuner wrote:another one
"I used to drive a truck for a bakery and delivered to warehouses in an area comprising all of northern Texas and portions of the Oklahoma Panhandle five nights a week. Along about 3 a.m., I'd get drowsy and find a wide spot on the shoulder of one of those back roads and cradle my head with my arms on the steering wheel and take a short nap with the engine still running for the heater and the lights on. One of the other drivers saw me doing this one night and decided to "have some fun." He turned around and parked his truck directly in front of mine facing me with his head lights on, not quite three feet from my front bumper, and blew his air horn. It's a good thing I have a strong heart is all I can say. When I heard that horn, I came awake with a start, sat up, saw what looked to me to be an ongoing, head-on collision and started jerking on the steering wheel and stomping on the brakes. He was laughing so hard he couldn't get his door open when I jumped out and demanded to know just what the bloody blue heck he thought he was doing. I was not amused at the time. I still chuckle when I think of it. There have been others, but I think that has to be the funniest to ever be pulled on me. I never left my motor running when I took a little steering wheel nap after that. "
Heh this story is short and sweet. I know someone who drove a mustang and saw a cool trick out of some stallone movie or something where he pulls the emergency brake and slides into a parking spot. Well we decided that we needed to see this trick, we go to an empty movie theater parking lot, he speeds up to about 60, pulls the emergency brake, spins and slams directly into a light post. The funny thing is, he said he had done it before when no one was there.
mlese216 wrote:Heh this story is short and sweet. I know someone who drove a mustang and saw a cool trick out of some stallone movie or something where he pulls the emergency brake and slides into a parking spot. Well we decided that we needed to see this trick, we go to an empty movie theater parking lot, he speeds up to about 60, pulls the emergency brake, spins and slams directly into a light post. The funny thing is, he said he had done it before when no one was there.
The above story reminds me of an incident that happened to me. I was 16, and I was driving a 1987 Mitsubishi Starion ESi-R. My buddy lived in an industrial district, that we always made a broad, sweeping right hand turn into. For the past couple of weeks on the way to his house, I had been practicing giving the car a bit too much boost, dumping the back end and sliding around the corner.
Finally my buddy was in the car with me, and we came up to the corner. I took it pretty flawlessly for a 16 year old. The back end stepped out, we went sliding out of control around the corner, I caught it and drove along. All was good. My buddy was amazed. So amazed in fact, that he told our other friend how cool the experience was.
A couple days later, I was heading back to the spot with the other friend. He says, and I remember to this day, "Show me what you got..." Same corner, same entrance, same back end drift... I failed to catch it, and totalled the front end into the curb just after the corner.
The thing with traffic incidents... every time you lose control of the vehicle, you're askin for it. Just because it was awesome the first time, and you made it through... doesn't mean the stunt can be infinitely repeated.
Or just because you see someone else do something, doesn't mean that you should do it. As one of my other, stupid high school car stories might show:
My first class of the day was in a building right next to the parking lot, on the first floor, parking lot side of the building. With such positioning, it obviously screams, "Arrive at the last second!" So I had this stupid stunt that kept me and my buddy entertained. I'd fly down the street outside the school, pass the first driveway, get hard on the brakes and toss the backend out... bringing me in line with the second driveway and up into the parking lot. (I'm lucky I never trashed the suspension).
After doing it about a dozen or so times over a couple of weeks, the Starion eventually died electrical death (curse you Mitsubishi!!) and I ended up getting a ride to school with my buddy in his car. The very first day we were late to school, there was a motorcycle cop posted along the route. He pulled someone else over. Then for the rest of the school year, they made sure to have cops out there a good couple times a week. I never got a ticket for the stupidity which brought the cops out in the first place, but a whole bunch of other kids did. :icesangel
i did that last night. everytime it rains and im driving home from work i hit this right hand turn onto a pretty wide street and i slip the back end around, just barely holding it, sometimes getting completely sideways and then catch it and keep going. so last night it had been raining a little, so im driving home after work and i had my girl in the car, she hates when i take my car sideways or even close to it, i think shes just not used to it. so i hit the turn and punch. now im doing pretty good until when it finally catches it swings all the way back around and im facing the way i came. i wasnt really worried about, just kept going cause there was no median, so i just got on the right side of the street. but damn, i thought she was gonna cruch my arm the way she grabbed me. that **** hurt, i probably got imprints in my bones or somethin now. but your right, you dont always do the same thing twice, thats how i lost my 95 240 off a bridge. (tears fall from the memory)
