A very serious question for my NICO Family

[Beancooker]

So its been a long time since I have stopped by. While I may not be into cars as much as used to be, I know a lot of the old timers here. I value and respect the opinions of all the Mods and Admins I know, as well as the members I know. So I have a question I am seriously debating. I'll start off this question with a little background on how it came about.

I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for anyone who wears a uniform of the Armed Services. In my book, these people are the pinnacle of admiration. There is no job, position or person I admire and respect more than the people who put this uniform on each day. Every day members of our Armed Forces put their lives in danger so we can enjoy the freedoms and way of life we have. The only regret I have in life is not joining one of the branches of the Armed Forces. However I am old and none of them want me.

I feel a deep need to give back to the people who protect me. Seeing my neighbors return from deployment, shaking their hand and thanking them for their service just isn't enough. I just don't know how to give back more. I have searched online, and some of the programs are great, but I want to do more than volunteer for the USO.

Today is my first day of vacation, so I head over to the local recruiter's office to ask what can I do to give back. I enter the Marine Corps office and they were stunned at my request. They weren't sure what to suggest. This was the first time that this Master Sergeant has ever been asked this. He suggested a look online, and said I should see if the Army had any better suggestions. The Army told me the same thing. Everyone I spoke with very appreciative, but really didn't know what to tell me.

Then I stop by the Navy. The Navy recruiter suggested that I join. When I told him I am too old, he said I don't look too old, and asked my age. I told him I am 37, almost 38. He said that is fine, they would be glad to have me in the Navy Reserves. This took me completely off guard. I did not expect this, and it was a lot to wrap my head around in a few minutes. We have a brief discussion about jobs, and I tell him that Police/Security is what I would be interested in. He said they are in high demand right now, and it would not be an issue getting that as a job.

We then discuss pay. Now the first thing I want to point out is I don't care much about the pay, and the retirement is not even something I am concerned with. I am not doing this for the money. I would do this two weeks a year and one weekend a month for nothing more than being granted the honor of wearing the uniform of the Armed Forces. However taking six months off work for Basic Training and MOS School is going to be one hell of a stretch.

I make a very nice salary, and work for an awesome company. The only problem is I am not sure if I can afford the cost to keep my home and the other obligations I have. We have two cars that have decent sized payments, as well as the day to day utility bills. I would be willing to give up my nice car, but as with most cars that you purchase, I am upside down, and I can't just give it back without destroying the stellar credit rating my wife and I have worked so hard to achieve. If I were single, I would say f**k the credit rating, and carry forward, but my wife doesn't deserve that.

Second thing is I don't want to leave my company hanging. I manage the warehouse and I am the part time IT guy who tests the software, documents progress and reports back to the development company the progress on the software development. If I were to leave for six months, I am pretty sure it would put them in quite a difficult position. I am very good at what I do, and while no one is irreplaceable, It would take some time to absorb the fallout of my departure.

I am not so sure they would be too keen on me leaving for a minimum of six months. Legally, they have to allow me to leave, and hold my job. Now this company is great, but I am afraid that if I were to leave for six months, they would delegate my responsibilities to a few other people and when I returned, I would still have my position, because they legally have to hold it, but in a short amount of time my position would prove to be obsolete since there would be nothing left for me to do, and when the legal cloud of protection wore off, I would be let go.

Now my wife supports me completely. She is very worried about the financial aspect, and does not like the idea of us crushing our savings so I can join. Our savings isn't s**t, and would cover about one month of car payments. However she supports the decision I make and will be behind me no matter which direction I choose. She also stated that she really thinks it will suck to have me gone for six months.

I may be 37/38 however I am in very good physical condition, and I have many friends in the military who have assured me I will skate through basic training, especially the eight weeks in the Navy. This part doesn't concern me in the least.

The biggest thing that concerns me is losing my current job, which in turn would have a huge impact on my wife and myself. I could deal with starting over at a lower paying job, having s**t credit, and nothing to my name aside of a uniform that I would be honored to wear. That would make it worthwhile to me. But I can't and would not even consider doing that to my wife. She is too wonderful a person and has worked way too hard to have me piss it all away. Jobs are scarce nowadays, and to make the comfortable salary that I currently make at another job, is a pretty far fetched dream.

So now that you have heard the position I am in, what would you suggest?

Any constructive criticism or suggestions are appreciated.

If you want to bash the Armed Forces and turn this into a pissing match about politics, this is the wrong thread, and you will be better off by not replying.

[alms24sebring]

I think its a huge chance. You need to really think about the reality, its a possible career change almost halfway through your life that has no guarantee. Could you afford to be behind on bills, sell cars or home, have less pay, a tumble in credit and a lost job all to say thanks? Not only that but I think that since your married that complicates things alot. I think its smarter to stick to volunteering for fun or maybe a part time or temp job. You may think its not the reward you were seeking.

[MinisterofDOOM]

I wish I could do it. I don't have the right mindset to serve in such a regimental environment, but I have enormous respect for those who do serve. I know several people who serve in reserves or with the National Guards who are great people and who credit much of who they are today to that service. And I know many more people who are current or former military and who say the same thing.

If all you're worried about is the time off work, I'd say start talking with your employer. A lot of employers are very supportive of that kind of thing, so it might not be the ordeal you're expecting.

[nissangirl74]

I wouldn't assume that you know what your employer's reaction would be or that you would return from training only to lose your job. How upside down are you on your car? Could you sell it and use your savings to make up the difference on the balance owed to completely eliminate the debt? Have you and your wife sat down and gone over your budget? What you NEED is food, clothing, and shelter. Next is a job that will afford you these things. Next is transportation to get you back and forth from said job. Is public transportation an option? Could you sell her car for a profit and buy something "less nice" but something that might not have a payment? Which one of you carries the benefits ( health insurance, etc)? What in your budget could you do without? What absolutely has to stay? Do you have to sign the papers immediately in order to be accepted? If not, live a couple of months as if you're not working. Don't even put your paycheck in the bank. See how well things go for that 60 days. It'll be a precursor for what's to come. Just my .02. Personally, I think it's a very admirable thing to do and even if this doesn't work out, I hope you find a way to show your respect and give back.

[AZhitman]

Wow...

I don't have much to add - my wife already nailed it. I've always thought you were living way below your true potential, and that you had a lot more to offer. I don't share your dim view of the possibility of your job "going away". Lots of people serve in the Reserves, and they're all well-shielded from anything that would jeopardize their standing. In fact, I've been doing EEOC work for the past year, and employers are VERY cautious about how they treat Reservists. I'd highly recommend talking with Andy (Repo), as well as the recruiter, about your concerns.

Looks like a win-win-win to me, if you do it right. More money coming into the house, potential for long-term gain (retirement and healthcare), and the opportunity to be something more and be a part of something bigger than oneself.

All that FightClub philosophy you're so fond of? Great for motivation, and it's emotionally and spiritually important for men to "be men", but those guys weren't men. None of them had the sack to go through what the men and women of our Armed Forces go through. They were no different than bangers and thugs - Lots of noise, and an attractive philosophy, but no depth - a shallow substitute for doing something REAL.

I agree with you 100% - One of my few regrets when I breathe my last breath is likely to be that I never served my country in that manner. I owe our Veterans everything, because my freedom is more precious to me than life itself.

I say go for it, and sacrifice what you must to do so. I'll be pulling for you, and praying for wisdom and guidance for you.

[themadscientist]

Well, let the former Jarhead let you off the hook.

Your desire to support our brothers and sisters in uniform is fantastic. I was lucky enough hang around over here and help out the people that came after me indirectly through my work; it's rewarding.

That being said, you are sacrificing quite a bit if do this. I think I know you well enough to think your real worry is not about losing the job, you know you are covered, but, rather, undermining your current work. Very honorable as well. I am looking for a new job and the first thing I did was reposition myself to be less vital at my current workplace so I won't create too much havoc if I leave.

I think your desire to join the military is honorable, but the reason is wrong. You don't have to sacrifice your career to increase your motivational contribution. Volunteering is a great way to contribute, just get deeper into it. I assume you are in Seattle, "rain city?"

http://www.pugetsound.va.gov/giving/assignments.asp

Volunteer Assignments

Listed below are a few ways you may volunteer your time and talents in service to Veterans; most of these assignments require a minimum 100 hours and 6 month time commitment:
Volunteer Van Drivers

Help pick-up outpatients receiving chemotherapy, dialysis, radiation therapy, and other outpatient appointments. To fill this role, you must have a current driver’s license and automobile insurance and pass a physical exam. Weekdays – full or half day shifts.
Puget Sound naVAgators

Help outpatients and visitors find their way around the medical center, and provide other ‘proactive customer services’. Weekdays, flexible hours, with a minimum time commitment of 10 hours a month.
Home Respite Volunteers

Provide socialization for homebound Veterans while providing a needed break for their primary caregiver. One to two days per week, 2-4 hours per week, flexible hours.
Administrative Support Assignments

Help different medical or administrative offices. Duties include greeting and directing, answering phones, making appointment reminder calls, surveys, filing, data entry, and document composition. Assignments mostly occur on weekdays during normal business hours.

http://volunteer.truist.com/uwsc/org/op ... d4f59a4c05

Help transport Disabled Veterans to essential doctor appointments, grocery shopping, personal hygiene appointments, library, bank and more. Many of our Disabled Veterans have to wait hours for a bus and then many transfers to reach their doctor appt's. This is very difficult for them. By providing transportation you are making a HUGE difference in their quality of life.

Anyone can help our Disabled Veterans as long as you have a current driver's license, show proof of current insurance, pass a vehicle safety check, pass a WSP background check, complete a volunteer application and provide 3 personal references. Though this program is for residents of Snohomish County, you do not need to live in Snohomish County to volunteer.

Just two examples.

[Bubba1]

Great advice, folks. Beanie, your views on military service is both honorable and commendable. As a young person with few responsibilities, the decision to make a commitment to the service is easier. But you are a middle aged man with a wife and kids. I'm not saying you should or should not endulge your heart, but the impact on your family (both financially and by your absence) is as important as your service. Yes, there are thousands of families where one of the parents is in the military, but that doesn't mean everyone can or should do it. You need to seriously make sure your wife is on the same page and fully understands and accepts the sacrifices she will likely face if you do it.

As TMS noted, there are ways to give back to the military without enlisting, like charities targeted toward veterans and their families, voluntering to help returning vets find work, or volunteering at a VA hospital. All honorable and appreciated pursuits.

But we're behind you no matter what you decide. Good luck,.

[s0m3th1ngAZ]

I hope you can handle 8 month deployments while in the Navy Reserves. Four out of the five reservists in my rate are currently on 8 month deployments. I really wouldn't recommend joining the reserves. There are much better uses of you time.

[Beancooker]

I really appreciate everyone's thoughts and opinions. There are many things posted that I had not thought about. Bex pointed out some great ideas. TMS, how did you find that? That is awesome.

Lots to think about, and lots to talk to my wife about.
Thanks to everyone who has posted.

I hope to hear more from more people.

[Beancooker]

Okay, now that I am replying from something with more than a 4" Screen...

Bex, you have some great ideas. We are too far upside down on either car to get rid of them. I really like the idea about not depositing my check. It's simple and will be put into action. I'll just transfer the check amount from checking to savings and be good to go.

TMS, thanks for "letting me off the hook", but it's not something you can do. This is something I feel very strongly about, and I feel extremely obligated to do so. I can't explain why, and it may be selfish, but I feel the need to serve.

Greg, I was never fond of the fight club philosophy, I just liked the movie. It is a damn good movie. I really appreciate your words of encouragement and I appreciate you taking the time to give your two cents. You know I have always valued and respected your opinion. I'll be calling Andy for sure. I was surprised to see I still have everyone's number on my phone. I will probably hit up Brian (WD) if his lame a** will answer his phone.

Chris, I do plan on talking to our CEO. He's straight forward enough to say exactly how he feels about it.

Alms, Volunteering is not the reward I am looking for. It was a substitute when I had finally accepted I was too old to join. Now that I have learned I am not too old, I might take the risk. You have some valid concerns about being behind on bills, and damaging credit. These are things my wife and I have to consider with a great deal of thought.

Bubba, My "kids" are my stepkids, and my stepson is 28, stepdaughter is 26 and serves us as a Turbine Engine Mechanic in the US Air Force, so this wouldn't really impact them too much. You also had some great things to consider, especially making sure my wife is willing to make the sacrifices that may come our way.

Scorched, I have considered deployments. If yopu think about joining any branch of the military, and haven't considered that you will definitely be deployed within two years, you're walking into the situation blind. My concern would be being deployed within the first year I was out of Basic/MOS. I need that year to pad the bank account in case of deployment.

Once again, thank you all for sharing your thoughts and opinions.

[PapaSmurf2k3]

I think its never a bad idea to simplify your finances. You might be upside down on your car loan, but if you sell it and get a beater, you should be able to pay off the difference relatively quickly. So what's the worst that can happen? You don't join up and you're out a Merc... but then at the same time you're pocketing more cash than before and have the financial freedom to do what you'd like.

I never really put myself in a position where I'm held back by finances (to an extent, of course). It's a wonderful freedom. I feel like the other aspects of this decision are largely personal and circumstantial (meaning leaving your job, wife, etc), so I can't really offer any advice on them. Good luck buddy.

[nissangirl74]

Also, don't worry so much about protecting your credit for future purchases, especially if you already have a house / cars. Worry more about stock-piling cash. It still walks taller than anything else. If you can pay cash for something, it doesn't matter if you're credit rating is 112. (I'm not suggesting you let it go to s*** on purpose, I'm just saying that there is more to life than stellar credit).