Can the system be operated by the front controls?...
is there a way to play/pause/ff,rw,etc from the front so I can get the video to play for the kids in the back?
Without the remote the controls are limited and you lose some functionality, but yes, you can perform basic manipulations to the DVD from the center console buttons.
Have you checked eBay?
I know video cannot be displayed in the front nor do I want it to
Actually you can, but you have to have the car stationary and the park brake applied. Some people install a bypass module to enable them to play video without these restrictions... but also importantly for pethaps a front seat passenger to be able to work the navigation.
Also, can the audio from the dvd play through the car speakers while the car is moving?
Yup! Just select DVD and whatever is in the player takes over the sound system.
Lastly - has anyone managed to connect an ipad or smart phone to the rear dvd system?
I haven't tried to, but you should have an ipod input beside the DVD player in the arm rest cubby.
Or, find the appropriate converters that allow you to output apple content into RCA, then use the 3 ports at the back of the center console. I know you could play a Playstation through those.