The service guy and foreman are wrong. We have the service manual for the 2008 M here at our web site - one year less than your 2009 but still relevant, I believe. if you look at the section on the auto transmission, it shows you how to check the fluid level (it ain't a simple dipstick

by the way).
Plus, the description of how to change the fluid is shown too - page AT-12. Please print those pages (or the AT section) and take it with you to them.
Two
more important points though:
1. If these guys do not even know that this fluid exchange can be done, do you trust them to do the job right? Meaning do they even
have the special powered equipment that cycles the gears while changing the fluid, under pressure, so that you get more of the old fluid out? Because a simple drain-and-fill will never get more than about 50 to 60 percent exchanged - too much of the old fluid remains inside the transmission and does not drain out.
I.e., you might want to find a better place to have the fluid replacement done - somebody with the BG powered system for example. If not an Infiniti dealer, many Nissan dealerships will have this, I would hope!
2. You
should do these fluid flushes every 30k miles to maximize the longevity of the transmission ... 50k miles or more is pushing it just a bit more than I would want, as far as I am concerned.
Totally separately, (but while your car is in for the transmission flush), in your X model, you should also replace both front and rear differential fluid every 30k miles (rear only in the non X models). Use a synthetic like Mobil 1 Synthetic Gear Oil 75W-90 or 75W-140. Don't let the dealer charge you
too much for this labor - it is a relatively simple job. You should also consider buying the Gear Oil at a local auto-parts store and take with you - the quantity needed is listed in the Service Manuals (remember two differentials in your car) - because the dealer will not normally carry the synthetic Gear Oil.
Good luck with all this!
Z