Hi. I’ve owned this car since 2001 and have never experienced anything like this. I painted parking lines in my driveway so I can line my cars up nice, so last night when I got home from work, I was lining my car up. I had the driver door open so I could see the line, and I was backing it up one last little bit by using a little clutch and a little gas, and right when I got the car where I wanted it, I clutched it, hit the brake, and turned the ignition off, with the door open, and the car possibly still unrevving from having just been moving. Probably around 1,100rpm instead of idle. Idk if any of that matters, but I’m just describing everything that was happening. Anyway, as I turned off the ignition, everything shut off, including lights, which still should have been on. It was a “what the heck was that” moment. And then nothing I did after that would do anything. The car is dead. No lights, no reaction to the alarm key fob. I tested the battery with a multimeter and got like 12.81 volts, but none of the fuses make a test light light up. Any ideas on what happened? I may try jump starting it soon, but I don’t really think that’s the issue..

Research lead me to do a continuity test on the blue fusable link by the battery, and there is continuity.

There are a whole lot more fusible links than the Blue one, and several of them can bring down most of the systems in the car. See EL-8 (PDF page 986) here:
https://www.nicoclub.com/service-manual ... 93_FSM.pdf

Well I finally was able to look at my car more since it’s a day off from work and my toddler’s sleeping. Somehow this ground wire broke:

Yep, that will do it.