Breaking news: Guess who's not a dad?

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Looneybomber
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As was stated in this thread Click here, I thought I was a dad, and have thought that for 8 months now. Well we had a paternity test done and 5 hours ago I got the results back...

Yeah, so I'm not a dad (biologically) anymore. I'm pretty bummed out actually. I had been thinking I was the dad and had assumed the roll as of 8 months ago, even when I didn't even want a kid.

I mean sure, he's a pain in the butt since he keeps waking up and crying at night and he does cost a bit of money, but that doesn't really matter. He has little fingers to nibble on and these big glazed over eyes. He's really a pretty cool 3 week old despite the crying and poopy diapers.

Since his mom and I get along, it's cool, but I don't see her as being my GF and stayed with her incase I might change and begin to like her more for his sake. With me not wanting to be in a relationship with her, I don't know how it'll workout for me to assume the daddy roll. I have absolutely no obligations to be daddy, but I don't want to leave either of them hanging. He really needs a male figure in his life.

I'm thinking I could still help raise them and be of some importance in their life, but not be known as daddy. Instead I could settle for "Uncle Dustin"?


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Rex
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WOW, just wow.

It may seem hard, but if you're not going to be there for 18 + years, you should really move on and be a "detached" friend. Offer supprt and help, but (unless you want to) don't offer the emotional support she will associate with a significant other.

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Dattebayo
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Edited cause Im an ***.

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nchopp
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I think Keith's right, Looney. But damn, talk about a tough situation. Props to you for stepping up.

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Dattebayo
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I am sorry. I guess i thought since your tone was something different in the "Im a dad" thread that i could crack a joke and not be thought a punk. I guessed wrong and Im sorry.

Florida240sx
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Was it a shock to you or did you expect it?

sanioll
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Looneybomber wrote:As was stated in this thread Click here, I thought I was a dad, and have thought that for 8 months now. Well we had a paternity test done and 5 hours ago I got the results back...

Yeah, so I'm not a dad (biologically) anymore. I'm pretty bummed out actually. I had been thinking I was the dad and had assumed the roll as of 8 months ago, even when I didn't even want a kid.

I mean sure, he's a pain in the butt since he keeps waking up and crying at night and he does cost a bit of money, but that doesn't really matter. He has little fingers to nibble on and these big glazed over eyes. He's really a pretty cool 3 week old despite the crying and poopy diapers.

Since his mom and I get along, it's cool, but I don't see her as being my GF and stayed with her incase I might change and begin to like her more for his sake. With me not wanting to be in a relationship with her, I don't know how it'll workout for me to assume the daddy roll. I have absolutely no obligations to be daddy, but I don't want to leave either of them hanging. He really needs a male figure in his life.

I'm thinking I could still help raise them and be of some importance in their life, but not be known as daddy. Instead I could settle for "Uncle Dustin"?
well, I'd like to say congratulations!!

And I would help her out financially and also try to find the real dad.

I just don't get how someone could loose track of how many people you've slept with. Only in America. Like Neil Cavuto said, Big hearts, small brains.

anyways, good for you, man. good, for you!!

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Jesda
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And now all is right with the world.

RB20DETodd
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLWiLVCcoaM

you should be like this guy!

Florida240sx
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ROFLMAO

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rsmithdrift
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Wow......your life is certainly different than mine in every way shape and form......I envy you for having such a life and still being a good person and caring......

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bobotech
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In the long run, you are much better off now that you aren't the dad. For now the whole thing kinda sucks since you have been self psyching yourself up to be the dad (finanically and mentally) but it should be somewhat of a relief to you now.

Good luck in whatever you desire but one thing I can recommend, try not to get too close to the kid if only for the fact that you don't want to set yourself up for dissappointment and mental anguish if the mom and you have a fight about something and she doesn't want you involved with his life.

Good luck.

KA-Te
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Wow. Good luck in whatever you decide to do with this situation. That is very admirable of you to want to help support your exgf and her son like that. When I clicked this thread, I thought it was going to be like a Jerry Springer show with the "WTF lying biotch" and all that jazz.

Kudos to you though. I can't imagine how it would feel finding all this out after 9 months!

Sil40_Mayhem
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Damn, dude. That sucks pretty bad (considering how much of your person you invested in being a dad). I wouldn't want to pry into your life or anything, but I'm curious as to how you were pegged to be the dad in the first place. Also, unless I am mistaken, if your name is on the birth certificate, you are legally the father regardless of parternity. You may want to check into that.
sanioll wrote:I just don't get how someone could loose track of how many people you've slept with. Only in America. Like Neil Cavuto said, Big hearts, small brains.
I mean, as a guy, I can understand 'getting around' and hooking up here, there, and everywhere (and not being called a 'whore' for it). Still, though, 'getting down with the get-down' bareback style with multiple partners is nowhere near cool. I'm not passing judgement, but (IMO) there should be no way in hell that a child's paternity is called into question.

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boznuttz
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lol, i was expecting a "you are not the father" video, but rbtodd nailed it

RB20DETodd
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boznuttz wrote:lol, i was expecting a "you are not the father" video, but rbtodd nailed it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...arch=

this guy deserved some music too!

RB20DETodd
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bobotech wrote:In the long run, you are much better off now that you aren't the dad. For now the whole thing kinda sucks since you have been self psyching yourself up to be the dad (finanically and mentally) but it should be somewhat of a relief to you now.

Good luck.
This man speaks of truth.

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boznuttz
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im just wonderign why th ehell anyone would go near these women in those videos too. so you have the sweet life looney!

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Fenvy
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you were with her 8, 9 months ago, if you're not the dad... who is?

what's the story?

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~4N~
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Have your own baby with someone you really want to be with.

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Looneybomber
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sanioll wrote:I just don't get how someone could loose track of how many people you've slept with. Only in America. Like Neil Cavuto said, Big hearts, small brains.
She's not a whore, if anything, I am. I've slept with more than twice as many people than she has and she's older than me.
Loveless wrote:you were with her 8, 9 months ago, if you're not the dad... who is?

what's the story?
The short of it is I was supposed to be going out on a date with this one girl. I needed to get a haircut before hand though. While I was getting my haircut, the hairdresser and I hit it off pretty well. Since that one girl hadn't called me back yet, I asked the hairdresser to lunch/dinner, then we went to the gym and then to the clubs.

Later on there was drama (I wouldn't return many of her phone calls and I lost signal in the middle of a very important convo. She thought I hung up on her) and she changed her phone number. I was out of her life. Because of that she slept with another guy 3 weeks after me, said he never got off because she called him the wrong name and he up and left.

With that and the fact that all the sonograms were saying that the time of conseption was just days after her and I last did it, I assumed it was mine. That's when I got back in her life by going to see her at her work since I no longer had her number.
Sil40_Mayhem wrote: Also, unless I am mistaken, if your name is on the birth certificate, you are legally the father regardless of parternity. You may want to check into that.
Because she doesn't have insurance, being self employeed, SRS (the state) picked up the bill. If I was put on the birth cert. I would be getting a fat 8-10k bill in the mail. Not good. So she put her name on the birth cert. and left the "father" part as unknown.

Sil40_Mayhem
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Looneybomber wrote:Because she doesn't have insurance, being self employeed, SRS (the state) picked up the bill. If I was put on the birth cert. I would be getting a fat 8-10k bill in the mail. Not good. So she put her name on the birth cert. and left the "father" part as unknown.
That's a good man. Well then, seems like you don't have that to worry about.

On another note, what mature person in their right mind decides they're gonna ride the balogna pony bareback as a measure of revenge (especially for someone who already isn't paying them any attention, as it seemed)? Perhaps not a whore, but not what I would consider wholesome, either.

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nchopp
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Sil40_Mayhem wrote:That's a good man. Well then, seems like you don't have that to worry about.

On another note, what mature person in their right mind decides they're gonna ride the balogna pony bareback as a measure of revenge (especially for someone who already isn't paying them any attention, as it seemed)? Perhaps not a whore, but not what I would consider wholesome, either.
Let's leave the judgements out of this, guys. If Looney isn't bitter about it, we certainly don't have any right to be.

Sil40_Mayhem
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nchopp wrote:Let's leave the judgements out of this, guys. If Looney isn't bitter about it, we certainly don't have any right to be.
I hear ya, Chopp-suey, but it wasn't so much of a judgement as it was a response to this statement:
Looneybomber wrote:She's not a whore...
I would have said no more about it, but this struck me funny. As such, I decided to retort. It's not like I initially said "ZOMG teh sLuTz0rZ tRYiN 2 j4k U 4 uR m0n33z s4YiN U d4 d4dZ0rz!!!" I wasn't trying to be inflammatory or incite bitterness.

KA-Te
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My next statement is not meant to be trolling or insensitive,.......

but doesn't it seem like the "good girls" who make one mistake end up getting pregnant, but the "wh0res" can have unprotected sex with 5,475,214.5 people and not get pregnant!?!?!

It happened to this girl I went to high school with- in our junior year she got pregnant her 1st time having sex.

Sil40_Mayhem
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KA-Te wrote:My next statement is not meant to be trolling or insensitive,.......

but doesn't it seem like the "good girls" who make one mistake end up getting pregnant, but the "wh0res" can have unprotected sex with 5,475,214.5 people and not get pregnant!?!?!

It happened to this girl I went to high school with- in our junior year she got pregnant her 1st time having sex.
Yeah, it happens sometimes. The first lesson in Life 101: it is not fair. Although, I've known a few to get knocked up on several occasions, and two in high school 3 times each before senior year. On the other hand, most of the whores I've known (not in the biblical sense) did end up with VD's.

/threadjack

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Eikon
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sorry to hear about all the drama Looney.

I know that you've become a better person through it all though. I am sure you've matured and you have a much greater respect for women. Those certainly are true for me after watching my wife go through pregnancy and childbirth.

After considering your future involvement... I would recommend the "uncle Dustin" role.Raising kids is a real roller coaster ride. There are a lot of good times, but a lot over very trying times as well. Trying to deal with those tough times when you know it's not your kid will be extremely difficult. So, stepping back and being a "volunteer" will be a great position. Being a "big brother" or "uncle" type will still be a great benefit to the little guy... it's always good to have a "father figure".

Kudos to you for being so responsible and mature about the whole thing!

Keep up the good work!

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Bubba1
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Eikon wrote:sorry to hear about all the drama Looney.

I know that you've become a better person through it all though. I am sure you've matured and you have a much greater respect for women. Those certainly are true for me after watching my wife go through pregnancy and childbirth.

After considering your future involvement... I would recommend the "uncle Dustin" role.Raising kids is a real roller coaster ride. There are a lot of good times, but a lot over very trying times as well. Trying to deal with those tough times when you know it's not your kid will be extremely difficult. So, stepping back and being a "volunteer" will be a great position. Being a "big brother" or "uncle" type will still be a great benefit to the little guy... it's always good to have a "father figure".

Kudos to you for being so responsible and mature about the whole thing!

Keep up the good work!
Props for being a gentleman about the situation. You're a good man. But I think you oughta rethink the Uncle Dustin role. Becoming a father-like or mentor figure to a newborn baby that is not only not yours, but belongs to a woman with whom you do not even want a serious relationship is a difficult road to travel. Taking an active role in raising a child is a life long expensive, commitment and not something you can walk away from when it's inconvenient. My recommendation is to simply be her good supportive friend and move on with your own life. And use a condom next time. Good luck.

DriftingJesus
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its like winning the lottery, don't fcuk it up

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Mr1der
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ha! I was right all along.

but yeah....be a male figure...not necessarily a father figure...more like a scout leader?


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