dam I detest self-impressed musicians

[themadscientist]

I went to a very smalltime concert the other night. Four bands and I have some critiques. The first band had two troublemakers. The lead singer thinks he is Jim Morrison meets Joe Cocker. I honestly thought the jackass was having an epileptic fit or something. He kept jerking and flailing around while he sung, badly too. His bull**** completely ruined it for me. I could not really appreciate the rest of the band because of the circus freak behind the mic. The lead guitarist was a rock and roll cliche'. Long hair, wardrobe from the guns and roses section of of hot topic and the way this guy was striking the rocker poses and straining on every lame riff he regurgitated convinced me he had a terminal slash fetish. The rhythm section did their job in the background, unsung and uninspiring but on task; laying down a platform for the village idiots to play rockstar.The second band was a snoozer. Typical weak, limp, college alt rock. The playing was sophomoric and I was so bored I would have gladly done my taxes rather than hear the rest of their set. I will say this though. They had the sound correct for what they were aiming for, I just don't like that sound. I think it is a direct correlation between my formidable testicles and a functioning spine that carries a razor-sharp mind with clearly defined goals that prevents me from suffering the typical college babble that passes for actual struggles to a kid playing adult on their parent's money. The band while annoying and sad was balanced though. Nobody was hogging the dim spotlight and they were all working well together which I respect.The third band, kind of an unusual lineup, three members only, drums, bass and guitar. The drummer was not amazing by any definition but I did like his focus. When the note came he hit it dead center and moved on. His all business approach while not what some have come to expect these days was solid and that is what a drummer should be IMO. He was a sturdy, level foundation for the music. The bass player was similarly taking care of business. She had a few quick fun bits but for the most part was just laying it down. Here's the rub though; the guitarist was such a festering douche I wanted to throw my water bottle at him!Guitarists can be some real characters; so impressed with themselves, often without no consensus from anybody but the dip**** in the mirror that they likely think about themselves playing when they jerk off. I have seen bad players who play straight, I have seen good players who play straight, I have seen good players who ham it up, this guy is the fourth kind. He sucked, but managed to drag out the suck so as to make it suck yet harder! They should use this kid as a 1:1 scale representation of the force of a black hole. Sucking in and of itself is forgivable, sucking while doing all sorts of crazy poses and contrived d!ck around with your guitar is not. When you are amazing, sure, play the fretboard, mess with the whammy bar, crank the knobs up and down, swing the ****ing thing around your neck by the strap, you get to do that when you are awesome. When you suck, put the god damned pick in your strong hand, the neck in your weak hand and rattle off some basic but at least effectively delivered chords you drooling ***! This guy was hunched over tapping four annoying repeating noises like he was Hendrix tearing up the national anthem. He would wheel the volume knob up and down with this grin like "I am so cool when I do this". Sorry guy Rage Against the Machine will not be breaking down your door anytime soon. Watching him strum his guitar, elbow clear above his head like he was in the clash but actually in slow motion because he was only strumming the downbeat brought bile to the back of my throat. This kid needs a reality check because he has delusions of capability.The fourth band was the headlining one, no complaints. They performed as expected which is why I bought the tickets in the first place.

I am still livid at the attitudes on some of these people. How does someone arrive at such heights of self image with nothing solid to stand on? I can see why bands can break up, jeez! The egos on some musicians must require a separate bus to move them from gig to gig.I play drums, very badly. I know that though and act accordingly. Don't expect to see me sitting behind an eleven piece kit that turns upside down while I chuck monogrammed sticks at a crowd of six people all the while struggling with a basic 4/4 time signature.

[Gold Digger]

Dude, keep your eyes open for any local venues while we are in town. I would love to catch a good local band gig and have a few drinks with you, even though you don't drink...unless I could persuade you to have one beer with me.

By the way, our flights were bumped up a couple hours, so we'll be in around 8is on Saturday the 9th.