My trip to Amsterdam (STORY/PICS/VIDEO)

[flohtingPoint]

WARNING: If you are easily offended, do not download the video's. We were drunk...

We arrived at the train station to amsterdam in the afternoon and killed time by taking pictures. From left to right, Jay, myself, and Safety, who is decided to pose like a Gundam robot. While on the train we knocked back a few beers and told jokes.

http://www.flohtingpoint.net/amsterdamTrip/058.wmv (right click, save target as)









I only wish I had half the "you look like a fraggle" jokes I can think of right now, while we were on the train.



Ahhh yes, the Mc'Bike. Upon entering amsterdam itself, I realized that Japan has nothing on Holland and its bike population. After taking in this sight, we headed to stop number 1 (with turned into our main hang out), a bar named Teasers. While walking around Amsterdam, I wondered where all the "good looking" women were, well, we found them...

http://www.flohtingpoint.net/amsterdamTrip/059.wmv (right click, save target as)







Inside teasers, Jay and I enjoyed the lovely women working there and fresh Heineken.

http://www.flohtingpoint.net/amsterdamTrip/060.wmv (right click, save target as)





Well, she got her picture, and I got a different suprise. See the arrow pointing to the corpulent intoxicated chick (in fact, watch that 060.wmv video clip a couple more times, and watch her face, thats always good for a few laughs). Yea, shes Amber's friend, and lemme tell you, when she gets drunk she turns into Jabba the Slut. She kept bugging me to dance, so I did what every drunk guy would have done. Danced like a jackass so that she would regret asking me. (No video, believe me... you dont want to see that, I dance horribly anyway)

My plan ended up backfiring on me, and the plastered portley woman kept grinding me. I now know what it feels like to be dry humped by a manatee. Folks, look for her on the internet under BBW searches, I'm sure shes there. She ended up ruining the night by throwing a big temper tantrum about not enough cheeto's in the Netherlands or something, but not before we got to enjoy some Cuban's (no trade issues w/Holland), and one of the finest glasses of Guiness I've ever had.







Holland space equipment. Who knew they had it? It was on the way to the train station the route we took the next day, so we decided to do what Americans do, climb on stuff and take stupid pictures.









We just followed the trend set early that day and continued to play with everything on our way to the train station. Jay demonstrates his skilled ability to run on a giant spindle. My attempt looked more like a retard trying the crane for the first time.











Remember the robot street performer from Euro trip. Well, he really exists, along with about 10 thousand other psycho's who think everyday is halloween (or just dont have any other clothes). See the arrow in the picture with Tigger? 5 minutes after that picture was taken, that woman was covered in bird sh1t. Stoned out of her mind, all she did was laugh and continue to load the birds up with more fecal ammo (popcorn).





While attempting to go to the Hard Rock Cafe in Amsterdam, ALWAYS take the train if its your first time. We're idiots, we walked, and half of us have been there more than once so we dont have much of an excuse for it taking us 2+ hrs to find it (you can imagine how Mrs Jabba must have been complaining). The food there was decent, but you have to wait a decade to get your check. While waiting, we f-ed around with what was on the table. The video below is the result =/

http://www.flohtingpoint.net/amsterdamTrip/063.wmv (right click, save target as)





Ah yes. The oldest bar in Amsterdam, called... hoppers or hopps or some crap. I dunno, I was destroyed when I walked in there. Upon entering, we took the place by storm in true third-finger tradition. Chugging beers. The portley porker was pretty smashed by this time, and she only got more hammered as we stayed there. During one of our downing competitions, the fraggle cheated and the video's show the evidence.

The picture of me with the dude in the tie features the bartender that night, and perhaps the best bartender in the world, Michael. This guy was so cool that he had his 7 year old kid give me the finger for telling him that Amstel Beer sucks.

http://www.flohtingpoint.net/amsterdamTrip/065.wmv (right click, save target as)

http://www.flohtingpoint.net/amsterdamTrip/066.wmv (right click, save target as)





Oh boy, the shopping cart. This was my major mode of transportation that evening. After the incident at Hoppers/Hopps/Hoops/Loops (or whatever the damned bars name was), we grabbed this thing, the only shopping cart in all of Amsterdam, and proceded to cart my @ss around in it. We would roll up into bars, push me up to the counter, and I would drink my beer from my hobo Winnebago. Later in the night, we made a run through the red light district, where I screamed at everyone there (from my cart of course) that they were all "GOING TO HELL" and other yellings of "Man in the black hat is giving crack away!!!!" To commemorate this occasion, we took a picture of me next to my hot-rod, but the picture actually came off looking like a great snapshot of me punching myself in the junk.



This ones a hit or miss. I thought it was hilarious, while the two straight laced psycho chicks I was with didnt get it.



Waking up with a hangover the next day, a swan gave me the evil eye. The video's below capture the event.

http://www.flohtingpoint.net/a...8.wmv (right click, save target as)

Cruising home =) Poor Safety couldnt get the horns right. He kept doing the "I love you" sign...

http://www.flohtingpoint.net/amsterdamTrip/069.wmv (right click, save target as)

[Florida240sx]

Sounds like you had a blast.

[flohtingPoint]

Sounds like you had a blast.

Yea, we had a pretty good time.

I also forgot to add in there that it seemed that about every 4 out of 5 people that I met in the city were Americans visiting this place. In fact, I only met one person who was actually from Holland. He says that he avoids the place like the plague.

[D1SR240]

Great story man. The pictures and the video really make the story better. Sounds like you had a lot of fun. Gotta love a bunch of drunk people free roaming a city.

[Mr1der]

fraggle....bwhahahahaah....

maybe she's Jim Henson's granddaughter...

[koukiKA240]

LOL great story. Im gonna be in Europe bout mid august, i hope i can have fun like that.~Sam

[gabossie]

oh man, I know I say this every time, but I LOVE your stories... I've had alot of good times like that, but I could never convey it the way you do...

I can't believe you threw a rock at the swan...

[flohtingPoint]

oh man, I know I say this every time, but I LOVE your stories... I've had alot of good times like that, but I could never convey it the way you do...

I can't believe you threw a rock at the swan...

haha, thanks =) I was going to do a narrated video, but then I realized I sound like a moron when I record myself, and decided to chicken out. Plus I felt super retarded sitting there alone in my apartment, talking to myself very loudly into a microphone (the walls in Germany can be paper thin at times, and I can only imagine what my neighbors were thinking)...

[240DRFT]

seems like a good time...maybe i'll go there sometime in my life.

im too lazy to download the videos

[Nismo_Freak]

The Heine is 10 times smoother in Amsterdam! We drank alot of it when we were there.

If it wasn't for a nice train station lady we wouldn't have found our train haha.

"Dude, what the ****, everything is in god damn German!""uhh, we are in Amsterdam dude, Germany is like across the ocean"

yeah, we had a few too many.

[flohtingPoint]

The Heine is 10 times smoother in Amsterdam! We drank alot of it when we were there.

Oh hell ya, its amazing. Way better than the canned stuff we get in the states =(

[base9se]

Heineken there is a whole lot better....did you get to tour the Heineken plant? I also remember those people in customes in the city square, pretty close to the train station. Fun times!