Ok i found this off car another forum and i got a good laugh outta it so i thought i would share it here! I doubt it is true but its still funny!

Alright...I don't care if you guys believe me ... it's real. This is the the most embarassing thing that I've ever experienced... it was a horrible night for me.. and I'm sharing it with you guys because I don't want any of my misc brahs to have to go through this.. especially since it all could have been EASILY prevented. I have added MS paint images so that you have a better idea as to what happened. It's very long, but I'll do my best to recount all of the important details. no ****ing cliffs..... read it to save yourself from something like this...

Anyway...If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a s***, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a s*** really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erectlon (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.

I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erectlon.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??



So I bend over and try to push my erected pen15 down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!



So then I'm like "fuk this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my pen15 hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect pen15 into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my a** was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.





I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:





I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting s*** on her floor....



At that point things get even worse...



The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my s*** was releasing s*** smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect pen15, left over fecal residue on my a**,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my a** off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.

All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing retarded (yes mad).

to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.

anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?

Heres the original link on bodybuilding forums!- http://forum.bodybuilding.com/...96496

"I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"

I didn't read the whole things... but I saw the pictures and read enough...

REALLY doesn't seem like the kinda thing you broadcast to other people

the worst part of that is that it has to be real...you can't make that s*** up!!!

OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I laughed so much tears came out from my eyes!

i loled

I think I may just suffocate from laughing EXTREMELY hard...

I lold... hard.

Poor guy.

HAHAHA I Lol'd sooo hard. His rep is screwed.

hahaha my girlfriend and i were busting up at the pics! I feel bad for the guy to an extent, but pee bottles???

this is actually lee's story... don't be fooled guys

PEZi720 wrote:this is actually lee's story... don't be fooled guys

I dont know what your talking about!

that's a very funny story lol. I can understand not wanting to go #2 in public, but peeing in a urinal can't do that bad, am I wrong?

I don't get this, when i have to do both i bend forward stick my **** in the hole sit down and s*** n piss at the same time.

TurboSauce wrote:I don't get this, when i have to do both i bend forward stick my **** in the hole sit down and s*** n piss at the same time.

although girls wouldn't seem to have that problem us man do.

I laughed so hard that there are still tears in my eyes.

But i have several questions/statements:

1) Wtf are pee bottles? Why cant he pee and poop at the same time in the same toilet like a normal person?

2) If he had a boner why didnt he just get it to go away before going to the bathroom, im sure he could of held it for a couple of minutes longer..?

terrible decision maker this guy is.

it is now 10:55 and my wife and i just finished reading it. LOL!

DOOD WE LUV'D THE MS PAINT PICS! GOOD JOB BUDDY!

I would of said "that Chinese food gave me diarrhea" And blame it on her roommate.

i words cannot describe the fail in this guys life

i really feel bad for him; but it could have been avoided so easily;

just take a dump in public its not that big of a deal

or tell her u have to run home and take care of something

damn

lol wow

What a moron. This guy's problems are ALL due to his complete absence of brainpower. He doesn't have social anxiety, he has stupidity. The guy deserves every bit of embarrassment that results from this. If you can't manage to take a dump without causing problems, you should probably grab your binkie and a diaper and start begging for a bottle.

I'm AMAZED that this guy is still alive at this point, and didn't decide to jump off a building as a solution to needing to take a leak in a hotel room or something.

It's not real. Just another FML story.

Its not like boners are impossible to bend into the toilet if you gotta sit down...

Sure it hurts a little, but man up little p**** boy...

I'm with MOD on this one... I don't feel bad for the guy at all... I feel bad for the girl and her roomate!

That girl was a prick, why would she feel threatened? So the guy had to take a massive dump sits your dumbas* down and stop asking questions.

I feel bad for the guy though haha

duffman1278 wrote:That girl was a prick, why would she feel threatened? So the guy had to take a massive dump sits your dumbas* down and stop asking questions.

I feel bad for the guy though haha

So you wouldn't feel remotely weirded out by the fact that a person you just met is taking a dump in your shower? More power to you, I guess.

That bathroom is probably going to stink for days, especially when someone's using the shower. Toilets have a water barrier to keep the sewer smell from becoming a problem. Showers have no such protection. How'd you like to be greeted with the scent of someone else's scat the next time you jump in the shower?

I wouldn't really, what I would have done was asked my date if they're taking a dump, and that if they answer yes I'll just play it off.

she probably figured he was beating off.

either way, i don't believe the story.

It has obviosuly got to be made up too many inconsistencies.Still I was laughing hard

Nala!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

snwbrdr435 wrote:Nala!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!