top 10 douche bag cars

[numbnuts240]

i thought some of you might enjoy this. i chuckled at a few of them. chuckle is a funny word, just thought i'd share that as well i guess.

10 Maserati: This car is in the number 10 spot only because of their lack of prescence on the road. Typical of a mid-30s douchebag, these cars can be found with their either wealthy or stupidly indebted owners driving like complete morons in thick midday traffic. When they aren't trying to impress high school sophomores with their rad fake ferraris they can be found laying black marks into onramps and nearly taking out soccer moms when they fail to signal while playing NASCAR on the highway.

..9 Civic Si: While most civics are owned by sensible motorists just wanting cheap transport, a small group of teenage douchebags, empowered by the fantastic scenes of speed in The Fast and the Fictious have decided that one car stands above all else as a powerhouse road rocket. They have chosen the anemic Civic Si to show the rest of the commuting world just who's boss. With it's stunning 170 HP, these buzzfarting pests can be seen slowly bumbling through traffic, racecar style, sometimes passing on shoulders and turn lanes to prove their macho vehicles are faster than anything they happen to pass, most of the time when no "race" of any sort is taking place.

..8 BMW 3-Series: Everyone's encountered these douchebags on the road. Yuppie with a cell phone up to his ear, crappy eurotrash technomusic blaring, chinese knock-off designer sunglasses on and a pink polo shirt with the collar popped like a pro. This metrodouchebag has only one thing on his mind when he's driving, and that's proving how big a douchebag he really is to any and all drivers on the road. When you are at an intersection with a lane that ends, he will try to race you to get in front of you, when you are doing 15 over on the freeway, he will pretend to be agitated and floor his mighty 220 HP mill to flyby you and show that his vehicle is meant for autobahn speeds. Apparently the warranty as a clause about a free replacement vehicle if the car is damaged while running a red light or stop sign, regardless of age or mileage, so be careful when these crowning douchebags pull their ultimate driving machine up to the line, they might just cross it!

..7 Dodge Ram: This list wouldn't be complete without the country douchebag cousin. Out of all the trucks, none has spurned a douchebag craze like the Hemi toting ram. With it's big grille, sunburnt, dirty, tattoo'd arm hanging out the window, and a confederate flag adorning the rear window, this truckload of douchebaggery will bear down on any little car that happens to be in front of them, tail gating them until they can snarl their overstressed engine to gradually pass by. Loud and awful sounding exhausts along with gun racks and cam seat covers are common place on these rural douche haulers. Just make sure you have a decent bit of distance between these tailgating SOBs if you decide to brake check these lunatics, trucks aren't known for their ability to stop.

..6 Trans-Am: A hardy choice for a midlevel douchebag, Trans-ams are notorious for their owners complete lack of self control when it comes to showing off their badass plastic muscle car. Revving their obnoxiously loud engines at anything with 4 wheels and an audible engine, these douchebags are always looking for a chance to show off their douchebaggery. More often than not, some slack-jawed yokel, upon being called such, will utter phrases like "well what do you drive" or "my ****'s faster'n yours". This boondock douchebag call, while not limited to trans-am drivers, is often followed by a big burnout , no matter how thick the traffic is, and a middle finger. It should be noted, these douchebags appear to network with other douchebags to form douche convoys.

..5 Camaro SS: The companion douchebag to the trans-am, these ****y *******s have taken a notch above the trans-am because of the ego boost their SS badge gives them. SS, standing for Super Small, is a reference to their pen15 size. Often the SS Douchebag (lol sounds like a ship full of *******s) will try to show off for his inbred girlfriend by racing vehicles that aren't acknowledging a race, or participating in the douchebaggery of trans-am owners, as stated above. On top of burnouts, donuts, and being obnoxious, they firmly believe the SS badge of their Camaro gives them super powers over other Camaros, even V8s, inspite of a weight difference not over come by the marginal power difference.

..4 Mustang Cobra: The crowning douchebag of the V8, the mustang cobra reigns supreme in their godlike douchebaggery. Cobra douchebags suffer from a Napoleonic complex that their cars are the greatest vehicles ever made. The fact that can be fast is the primary fuel for this ego. However, when these douchebags are bested they fall back on a douchebag cliche as old as time. People who think their car sucks are jealous of it, and wish they could afford the bourgeois pricetag of a $27000-$30000 car. They are also prone to excuse making, from the design of the car, to the fact that some of these douchebags just don't know how to drive them. These are all excuses levied to try and quell the flood of criticism of the small-d!ck, arrogant douchebag when they try to show off more than they are able.

..3 Subaru STi: The douchebag mobile for the 21st century is here. Complete with a simulated pen15 enlarging function that gives the owners of these fugly shopping carts with engines the feeling they are more masculine than they truely are. Again spouting claims of jealous or inability to afford a cheap japanese import, the drivers of these cars are the first all-weather douchebags of the list. Because of mass advertising campaigns, the pinheaded morons driving these cars seem to think that any day, rain, snow, shine, or 3" of glaze ice is race day and will not hesitate to prove this to you, even if it means slamming into a telephone pole on a winter day. On top of that, the turbocharged engine gives these twats a sense of superiority over other vehicles that don't have turbochargers. The douchebags brag about these fascinating pieces of technology, even if they haven't a clue how they work.

..2 Mitsubishi EVO: Thanks to a mass marketed hype, Mitsubishi was able to jump into the douchebag market with the Mitsubishi EVO, an ugly piece of junk that can best be described as a turbocharged chinese takeout box. Because of the hype and aura surrounded by these douchemobiles, their owners think their cars are invincible, able to best every and any car on the road or track, inspite of reality. Again jealousy is an issue with the owners of these rolling dumpsters because we all know people just wish they owned a $30000 Lancer with a hopped up engine. Additional "technology" features (including a massive wing inversely proportional to the owners pen15 size) attract quasi-intelligent douchebags to these cars because they can pretend to explain how all the useless marketing features actually make their cars fast. Through extensive douchebag networking, a random douchebag always knows some other douchebag who is a friend of a douchebag with an Evo that runs single digits in the quarter mile. This information is b ogus, and often imparted by a douchebag trying to impress non-douchebags about a hyped up douchemobile that he doesn't own. Races with these uber-fast EVOs never materialize either. Fortunately, the hype on these vehicles is fading away, but egos remain higher than ever as a result, with douchebags desperate to prove how badass they can be by racing anything on the road.

and now...

The Number 1 Douchebag Vehicle of All

Dodge Neon SRT4: The ultimate in douchebaggery vehicles. A worthless turd of a vehicle, slapped together by the company that brought you the Ram, comes a douchemobile of unimaginable proportions. There is not a single owner of these vehicles that isnt faithful to the douchebag way of life. Whether it's talking up their slow piece of crap and never running it, making every excuse from the douchebag rolodex of BS reasons why they won't race or lost a race, or simply doing childish douchebag things like weaving, blowing through redlights, flooring it at every opportunity, burnouts in traffic, revving at cars two lanes over and in front of them, racing in traffic, nearly rear ending cars, losing control and flying off a road while attempting to race a car that wasn't race, NASCAR impersonations, trying to show off to their ugly girlfriend how macho they are by being a complete moron, pretending parking lots are rally tracks, and thinking they have the fastest car ever built, SRT4 owners do it all. They are world class, award winning, grade A douchebags that need to be stomped, laughed at, outrun, and outdone in every car related anything they bring their pieces of crap too. Even Dodge thought they created a douchebag monster they couldn't control so they axed it. Above it all, these douchebags are in intense denial about one thing: THEY DRIVE NEONS. Neons will never be cool, respectable, awesome, attractive, or have a legacy other than being pre-form scrap metal. Douche on SRT4 owners, Douche on!

[DevilMB3017]

Sorry...but...

Repost.

[numbnuts240]

sorry, i don't recall seeing it here before. i have failed

[frapjap]

Quote »... they firmly believe the SS badge of their Camaro gives them super powers over other Camaros, even V8s, inspite of a weight difference not over come by the marginal power difference.[/quote]The author does know that an SS model Camaro is a V8 Camaro, right?

Oh, and 2004 called. They want their repost back.

[OriginalWheelman]

..4 Mustang Cobra: The crowning douchebag of the V8, the mustang cobra reigns supreme in their godlike douchebaggery. Cobra douchebags suffer from a Napoleonic complex that their cars are the greatest vehicles ever made. The fact that can be fast is the primary fuel for this ego. However, when these douchebags are bested they fall back on a douchebag cliche as old as time. People who think their car sucks are jealous of it, and wish they could afford the bourgeois pricetag of a $27000-$30000 car. They are also prone to excuse making, from the design of the car, to the fact that some of these douchebags just don't know how to drive them. These are all excuses levied to try and quell the flood of criticism of the small-d!ck, arrogant douchebag when they try to show off more than they are able.

While I agree with this list, this ought to be amended to the GT. The Cobra has a $30k+ price tag, and is fast as

I've never seen this list either. But it does prove one thing. Some things never change.

[dusred]

..8 BMW 3-Series: Everyone's encountered these douchebags on the road. Yuppie with a cell phone up to his ear, crappy eurotrash technomusic blaring, chinese knock-off designer sunglasses on and a pink polo shirt with the collar popped like a pro. This metrodouchebag has only one thing on his mind when he's driving, and that's proving how big a douchebag he really is to any and all drivers on the road. When you are at an intersection with a lane that ends, he will try to race you to get in front of you, when you are doing 15 over on the freeway, he will pretend to be agitated and floor his mighty 220 HP mill to flyby you and show that his vehicle is meant for autobahn speeds. Apparently the warranty as a clause about a free replacement vehicle if the car is damaged while running a red light or stop sign, regardless of age or mileage, so be careful when these crowning douchebags pull their ultimate driving machine up to the line, they might just cross it!

..7 Dodge Ram: This list wouldn't be complete without the country douchebag cousin. Out of all the trucks, none has spurned a douchebag craze like the Hemi toting ram. With it's big grille, sunburnt, dirty, tattoo'd arm hanging out the window, and a confederate flag adorning the rear window, this truckload of douchebaggery will bear down on any little car that happens to be in front of them, tail gating them until they can snarl their overstressed engine to gradually pass by. Loud and awful sounding exhausts along with gun racks and cam seat covers are common place on these rural douche haulers. Just make sure you have a decent bit of distance between these tailgating SOBs if you decide to brake check these lunatics, trucks aren't known for their ability to stop.

LOL!

One of my best friends own's both of these vehicles

[Dittoz7]

LOL Neons...

[confedup]

Where are the 240sx sidways driving owners listed driving primered beaters?

[x240xdrifter]

sorry but the dodge magnum needs to be on that list, nothing but cocks driving that thing

[AZ89two4Tsx]

IMO there's really no such thing as a douchebag car, (except neons & taurus') it's the douchebags that drive them. Are you saying that you would prefer your 240sx over a maserati? I think not.

Anyways, it still was a little funny I guess because I'm sure almost everyone has been on the road with douchebags like this.

[CybeRise]

/signed

[NismoDriver240]

Never read this before and first time LOL'ing at work

[MinisterofDOOM]

WHY are the VW Golf/Jetta and Mitsubishi Eclipse not on that list?

[AZ89two4Tsx]

^ They aren't.

[Looneybomber]

WHY are the VW Golf/Jetta and Mitsubishi Eclipse not on that list?

Because they're chick cars. That then makes them whorebag cars?

[Dattebayo]

The 240SX should be on that list. If you don't believe me, go hang out in 240 gen chat for a while. The douchebaggery in there is stifling.

[MinisterofDOOM]

Because they're chick cars. That then makes them whorebag cars?

I NEVER see chicks driving them. It's always guys with spiked bleached hair and popped collars.

[VMPhil]

^ They aren't.

i think he means why arent they

[VMPhil]

Sorry it was the perfect opportunity to use this.

And i think to label certain cars as Douchbag is kinda silly. If so id have to say the 80's Camaro Iroc Z

[Slider4105]

Every car has some sort of douchebaggery that goes on with it, it's the driver not the car.

[sbird1]

I know a very cool mid 30's guy that drives an STi. I know a couple very smart people that have Civic SI's and are genuinely nice people. The only douche cars I can think of are the SRT-4, one guy with a Prelude, oh, and don't forget H2 drivers.

[Bubba1]

I know a very cool mid 30's guy that drives an STi. I know a couple very smart people that have Civic SI's and are genuinely nice people. The only douche cars I can think of are the SRT-4, one guy with a Prelude, oh, and don't forget H2 drivers.

I think one group left off the list are the rusty full sized domestic pickup trucks with the NASCAR bumper stickers, and the decal of the little boy peeing on a "24"

I thought it was an amusing list.

[SEV6]

Every car has some sort of douchebaggery that goes on with it, it's the driver not the car.

Listen to this man.

[skydragoness]

Generally, I notice it's people in expensive or psuedo-expensive cars that act like douchebags. Or guys in lifted trucks with all sorts of stuff done to them, they try to run people off the road and intimidate everyone by tailgating. They're compensating for something IMO. Same goes for daddy's little princess in their Audi convertibles and the soccer mom's and older cougars with expensive cars that think they are scary by tailgating people. Until I hand their asses to them on a curve...

[GrilledCheese33]

I lost interest after reading through #7. I skimmed the rest but it seems to me that the original author tried wayyyyyyyy to hard to be funny with this.

Also:

The 240SX should be on that list. If you don't believe me, go hang out in 240 gen chat for a while. The douchebaggery in there is stifling.

I think people have said it before, but db-ery can carry over to any car. Within certain car make groups, you meet cool enthusiasts along with the inevitable db, and thats just how it is.

[Mr1der]

I hate douchebags that stereotype a car with a certain type of owner.

[dasoupdude]

Sorry it was the perfect opportunity to use this.

And i think to label certain cars as Douchbag is kinda silly. If so id have to say the 80's Camaro Iroc Z

[ADDirishboy]

Amusing list. I agree that it is not the car that makes the douchebag, but the driver though. It's still funny though

[Beancooker]

The 240SX should be on that list. If you don't believe me, go hang out in 240 gen chat for a while. The douchebaggery in there is stifling.

[asoomal]

WHY are the VW Golf/Jetta and Mitsubishi Eclipse not on that list?

I did not write this, found it on a different forum a while back, enjoy

VW Owners - You are such a mob of incomprehensibly massive faggots that I don't even know where to begin. You're probably so stoned out from smoking your boyfriends peace pipe that you won't even understand what the $%#@ I'm trying to tell you. But for starters, your idea of 'good' wheel fitment absolutely ****ing BLOWS. Its ****ing awful. Its worse than tossing tubgirl's salad. THE WHOLE POINT OF WIDER WHEELS IS FOR WIDER ****ING TIRES, YOU ****ING ****s! The only stretched rubber that should exist in this world is the rubber that gets stretched over your c***, not that you'd ever need it for birth control since you're too happy sending small pets on spelunking missions up your boyfriends ***, instead of trying to understand how to set up a FWD suspension to work well. Nevermind R32 owners, who are probably the most high-density concentration of fap-catching yogurt-chewing ****s amongst the entire automotive world. Yeah they somehow beat out Audi owners for the title and that's ****ing epic so ****ing props on how ****ing GAY you all are. I swear to god the next one of you fruit flies better have a ****ing built motor and turbo if you rev on me again because I am goddamn sick of having to smack down every R32 fifteen ****ing times on the street before they get the idea that their piece of **** isn't fast. As for the old VW owners, have fun with your horrible body modifications of the metal and flesh kind and try not to get tetanus from ****ing your old rusted out piles of ****.

Audi Owners - Your cars are the results of lengthy talks and designing to incorporate the utterly nonsensical lack of engineering in a VW only to make it even more overcomplicated and use the same ****ty Bosch components with a different ****ing part number with three times the price so that choosing to drive one of your flamboyantly queer limp-wristing fagwagons becomes a financial lifestyle decision because the ****ing car tries to burn itself down every three months because once it develops enough self identity to know how ****ing worthless it is, it tries to leave this cruel world only to be resurrected by the dealership at a cost that could have bought you a half dozen Asian schoolgirl sex slaves except that you're too much of a ******. Congrats, because the entertainment I get from seeing your pompously overdressed ****** asses standing on the side of the road in your banana republic sweaters looking confusedly under the hood with a baffled look on your face resembling that of a 18 month old in a titty bar is pretty ****ing entertaining and that's the only reason I don't shoot your worthless ****ing asses on sight. Once you actually take it to the shop to be fixed, then some poor bloke gets to rip the whole ****ing car apart to fix the most mundane **** because the service procedures make about as much sense as climbing up someones *** to perform throat surgery. Plus you're such a ****** that I said 'throat' and all you could think of was a d!ck in your mouth. Props, fruitcake!

Nissan Owners - I don't give a $%#@ what engine it had in Japan, or what cars they had in Japan, or whatever the $%#@ is going on in Japan. It isn't here and the car here is an economy sized can of condensed evaporated FAIL. By the time you've maxed out your credit cards, you'll have made your **** 'mad JDM' so you can roll around on mismatched wheels with rattle-can paint jobs and McWTF alignment settings for the purpose of laying waste to used ****ty tires and rolling over guard rails on mountain roads. Which of course, is almost as awesome as ****ing your boyfriend doggie style so you can both watch subtitled episodes of Initial-Douche. Meanwhile, your *slightly* cooler half-cousins with the infamously amusing flappings of the legendary 'Z' car can invent **** about how fast their cars are and between 'makin 400hp with nawz tuned at Stillens shop' or 'not getting traction in 5th' they'll prove why most Z owners gave up on their cars for fear of being mistaken for a heap of microwaved douche slightly smaller than the moon.