Vin Diesel jokes

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:09 am

ok everybody post up ur fav. jokes about Vin Diesel or chuck norris here ill start it

Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Most people don't know this, but the bible actually ends with Vin Diesel showing up at the crucifixion with a pair of Uzi's and kicking some Roman ***. Vin Diesel was all like, "Jesus, I totally saved you." Then, off on the horizon, a bunch of Romans show up riding dinosaurs led by Mecha Pontious Pilate. Jesus busts out this sweet ninja sword and says, "Now it's my turn to save you." Then Jesus and Vin Diesel run towards the Romans in slow motion. That's how the bible ends. It's a cliff-hanger. I can't wait for the sequel, "The Bible 2: Water...Into Blood".

Post by **Slappy** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:16 am

I heard if you buy the DVD , the is an alternate ending. Same with the "Passion".

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:22 am

slappy has spoken this one is for u

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:22 am

Vin Diesel invented the spanish language because he liked the word "pantalones" and needed a language to use it in context.

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:32 am

Vin Diesel once got caught doing 100 in a 50 zone. The cop did give him a speeding ticket, however Vin still pleads his innocence to this day, stating that he was simply out for a morning jog.

If you haven't seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don't bother, Vin Diesel wins

The French did not send the Statue of Liberty to the United States as a sign of peace. They just wanted to see if Vin Diesel could **** a 300 foot tall copper woman.

Post by **iwantans13** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:35 am

This thread eats it hardcore.

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 10:44 am

ok thanks for ur input

Post by **theharlequin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 11:00 am

Vin Diesel can simply walk into Mordor.

Vin Diesel once challenged a canoe full of epileptics to a shaking contest and won.

Remember that scene in the Wizard of Oz where the Munchkin hangs himself in the background? Vin Diesel pushed him.

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:34 pm

When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

The word "lesbian" derives from an old Latin phrase that roughly translates as "She who has not yet been introduced to Vin Diesel."

Post by **OriginalWheelman** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:37 pm

skylinegtr805 wrote:Vin Diesel is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Because Vin sexually harasses him.

Post by **lofapoo** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:54 pm

With a plunger.

Poor [splintered] bastard.

Post by **iwantans13** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:57 pm

Did you hear the one about Vin Diesel?

It wasnt very funny.

Post by **lofapoo** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:01 pm

Why did Vin Diesel cross the road?

To help iwantans13 change a tire on his Magna.

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:02 pm

iwantans13 ur an a$$holeif u dont have anything good to say then shut ur mouth

Post by **iwantans13** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:03 pm

Im just giving a noob a hard time about his stupid topic.

I guess if its your thing then carry on, ladies.

Post by **nsrZ32** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:17 pm

Chuck Norris > Vin Diesel

Post by **Loki** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:22 pm

nsrZ32 wrote:Chuck Norris > Vin Diesel

, some of these are just recycled Chuck jokes. Some are pretty decent though.

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:24 pm

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest p0ker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of p0ker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.

If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

hope u guys like these

Post by **onosqv** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:38 pm

Loki wrote:, some of these are just recycled Chuck jokes. Some are pretty decent though.

Yea, but w/ the average age of forum users these days, most of them don't know who Chuck Norris is.

For those of you who don't know. When they ask "who's your daddy?" It's Chuck Norris.

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:41 pm

hahahaha good one brokeas240sx heres a funny 1 hope u think its funny 2

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 2:28 pm

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Post by **LatinAssasin** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 2:38 pm

There is no chin behind chuck norris' beard, only another fist.

Post by **x240xdrifter** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:10 pm

GUYS!!! something amazing happened!!!!!!

I hav figured out time travel!!!!, it was easy too!!!

I simply clicked this thread and BOOM!!!! 2005

stupendous!

Post by **NSR_s30** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:49 pm

x240xdrifter wrote:GUYS!!! something amazing happened!!!!!!

I hav figured out time travel!!!!, it was easy too!!!

I simply clicked this thread and BOOM!!!! 2005

stupendous!

/thread

Post by **AZhitman** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:07 pm

Vin Diesel is almost as gay as Richard Simmons, and a little gayer than The VIllage People.

Chuck Norris says so.

Post by **MinisterofDOOM** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:52 am

iwantans13 wrote:Did you hear the one about Vin Diesel?

It wasnt very funny.

Thread=pwnt.

Post by **Jake's coupe** » Tue Feb 26, 2008 9:09 pm

This thread needs to be saved.OK my work is done here.

Post by **xckid** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 2:56 am

^ you win!!

Post by **fourLUG_hero** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:33 am

Misa Campo FTMFW.

Post by **Jake's coupe** » Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:04 am

and heres a lil more.

Vin Diesel jokes

Vin Diesel jokes

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (Slappy)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (iwantans13)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (theharlequin)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (OriginalWheelman)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: (nsrZ32)

Re: (nsrZ32)

Re: (Loki)

Re: (brokeAs240sx)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (skylinegtr805)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (x240xdrifter)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (iwantans13)

Re: Vin Diesel jokes (MinisterofDOOM)

Re: (xckid)

Re: (KA_Pig)

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