Learned'd VIII: Less Bewbs, Same Nonsense

[nissangirl74]

Thanks Ben, the janky Miata put down some pretty quick number. I was pretty happy, especially since it was my only timed lap all weekend.

I ended up making scallops, rice with mushrooms, and red curry for dinner. There were 8lbs of scallops and about 10 cups of rice. Everyone ate the hell out of it- not a grain of rice left.

It was AMAZING!

[nissangirl74]

the whole online dating thing

http://www.nicoclub.com Hey, it worked for me.

[WDRacing]

I know you recommended match to me, is there any particular reason you preferred one or the other?

Both of those sites are famous for overcharging you. Neither seem to do as good of a job as they claim to either.

http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news/eha ... 11413.html

Another review.

http://www.prweb.com/releases/match-vs- ... 960167.htm

[frapjap]

Indeed, I even scraped the crispy (semi-burnt) rice off the griddle, that was incredible...

Ray, I've got a question for you that I thought about this morning. I was thinking about the discussion we had about the whole online dating thing, and while I'm still not totally sold on the idea, I was thinking about the difference between match.com and eharmony.

I know you recommended match to me, is there any particular reason you preferred one or the other?

HUGE reasons I picked one over the other; they work very differently.

Eharmony lets you look at whomever, but only communicate with one person at a time. IMO its for the person who wants to get married next year. While there isn't anything wrong with that, I wanted to broaden the field and look for exactly what I wanted.

Match lets you communicate with as many folks as you want at a time, without limit. They also hold those "Stir Events" which I highly recommend, if anything, for practice talking to the opposite sex again. Match also has FANTASTIC search parameters. You can exclude those without education, certain hair color, body types, whatever. Its pretty neat.

The reason I decided to go into it is because the quality on the free sites isn't fantastic. Dating in the friend circle isn't always the best choice, either. And regardless of how many volunteer activities, active events, and other hobbies I have and put myself out there, I wasn't meeting anyone who wasn't already taken or even wanted to pursue a relationship. Free sites are okay, and every once in a while you get a winner, but its pretty rare; depending on the demographics of the surrounding area (mine suck). A pay site at least has serious members who are all there for the same reason- hurdle one is already out of the way. The communication is easy. You write an honest profile, put up some pictures that represent you (one of mine was the "White Trash Captain America get-up" from Sean and Amy's party) and the ladies will check you out. Or you can check them out. Send a message. If they don't like it, they won't respond. If they do, then they'll shoot you a message back. Hit that limit of 4-5 messages (usually 2/day) with a suitor and pony up and get the number to call her on the phone, go from there. You're a great guy, they'll be all about you.

There are dates that will fizzle out there, but it just reinforces that you're looking for something specific. Honestly, it'll turn up. It worked very well for me, and a friend of mine was having some dates without a ton of chemistry, but then BAM, hes in love and the gal is honestly pretty awesome for him.


I've never had any of the issues with payment- I even forgot to cancel and called to say I didn't need it after 5-6 days of forgetting and they promptly refunded me, too.

[Kompresshun]

I never went as far as Match.com or eHarmony when I was dating. I did go out with a few girls I met on Myspace though and dated a couple of them for a bit. While I didn't meet my wife via the internet, it was thanks to the internet that I met her, so I think that there's nothing wrong with either of them.

I met my wife because I was dating her s*** crazy best friend at the time and I had told her friend to leave me the hell alone after going back to her ex-b/f a couple of weeks into us dating. My wife convinced me to give her friend another chance and the same thing happened again. In the meantime my wife broke up with her worthless b/f and shortly after that we started talking. The rest is history. This year is 6 years we've been married and we've known each other for nearly 8 years.

I guess my point is, you never know when you'll meet the right person, or what circumstances will bring you together. I had completely gave up on dating for a while before I met my wife. Every girl I dated was so screwed up that I thought it was impossible to find a normal(to me) girl. When I met my wife though, everything finally just fell into place.

[elwesso]

Bex, I think you might be in the minority there..... But hey, I'd rather be lucky than good any day!

Thanks for the explanation, Ray, that makes a lot of sense, very nice summary.. I signed up for the free stuff because I don't really have anything to lose..

I have no problem talking to anyone, I don't particularly get nervous about that kind of stuff, people either like me or they don't.. If they do, that's fantastic, but if they don't, such is life. For the record, I act the same way around my family as I do my friends as I do at work.... I just don't have a lot of time to go out and try and meet people, especially living an hour from work, and like you Ray, my local demographics leave a lot to be desired.

I've been talking to a gal off and on for the last couple weeks over text message, and the other night I asked her if she wanted to meet up.. She said she "left her planner at work but would get back to me the next day", well that didn't happen so I'm assuming she's just stalling.

The main reason I contacted her in the first place and have continued to mess around with this is because I'm very committed my Christian beliefs, and based on my prior relationship, I think that those beliefs be similar (but not necessarily identical)... It's harder than heck to find anyone who claims to be a Christian and has half a brain and some sort of education.. The fact that she's attractive, plays golf, claims to like cars, and living in rural areas are all icing on the cake.

I haven't talked to her on the phone yet, perhaps maybe that would be the next best step.

[frapjap]

I guess my point is, you never know when you'll meet the right person, or what circumstances will bring you together. I had completely gave up on dating for a while before I met my wife. Every girl I dated was so screwed up that I thought it was impossible to find a normal(to me) girl. When I met my wife though, everything finally just fell into place.

This exactly. I had given up and used the internet as a way to meet people as a last resort and honestly, I NEVER would have met her without it.

The bachelor party is in New Orleans guys. I hope to see all of you there, start saving now!

[elwesso]

I guess my point is, you never know when you'll meet the right person, or what circumstances will bring you together. I had completely gave up on dating for a while before I met my wife. Every girl I dated was so screwed up that I thought it was impossible to find a normal(to me) girl. When I met my wife though, everything finally just fell into place.

I think you hit the nail on the head there. Seems to me it "finds you" rather than "you finding it"..

[frapjap]

You can definitely screen for religion and degree of belief on match, too. I used it to stay away from that kinda thing, but to each their own.

It sounds like the chick is stalling or playing hard to get. IMO, give her a call, tell her 2 days that you have availability (with one "well maaaaaaybe Saturday"- whether you do or don't have something planned) and then you'll actually find out if shes into you. The idea is to make yourself look less available and thus, more desirable- whether or not its true. It sounds skeevy, but that's one of the things I feel I was doing wrong- it looked like I had no friends or wasn't desirable to be hanging around with when in all actuality, I was willing to rearrange whatever for a date and looked desperate.

[elwesso]

The more I think about it, the more I think I probably ought to try and talk to her on the phone before meeting up.. IMO (and don't flame me for saying this), but I think it's more the male's job to determine if the female is worth pursuing or not for him, not the other way around. I mean you think about it, typically women will just wait around for a guy to approach her, not the other way around..

[Kompresshun]

You can definitely screen for religion and degree of belief on match, too. I used it to stay away from that kinda thing, but to each their own.

This was a surprisingly important thing for myself. I tried to waver on it and I had a long term relationship with one girl that we both were the same faith, but had totally different beliefs and values. We dated off and on for over a year, but every time we broke up it came down to our values and beliefs.

I think it's a given that it's hard to find someone with your exact beliefs, but if you're too different it will come to a head at some point.

[frapjap]

The more I think about it, the more I think I probably ought to try and talk to her on the phone before meeting up.. IMO (and don't flame me for saying this), but I think it's more the male's job to determine if the female is worth pursuing or not for him, not the other way around. I mean you think about it, typically women will just wait around for a guy to approach her, not the other way around..

I don't find anything particularly wrong about that notion. I used to think the opposite, but then realized that if you don't go get it, you're never going to get it. I was actually pursued by Lindsey. She saw my profile on match and thought, "I have to meet this guy." She joined 'because of me,' which is probably a half truth as theres plenty of folks on the site, but I'll count myself lucky that I even caught her eye in the first place. Either way, I wasn't about to let her go. I did my best to impress her (within the realm of not inflating my personality) and still try my hardest every day for her.

But I digress, you're right. Some pretty good women are there for the taking and that's why they can end up with D-bags who couldn't care much for them or the life they've created together. However, I don't feel that there is anything wrong with being picky. If your intentions are to marry and spend a life with someone some day, you'd better be damned sure you can spend every day with them, enjoy each day, and be certain that you made the right decision up front instead of compromising and hoping they'll change. You'll come across someone who will mesh every gear possible with you and be harmoniously synchronized.

Last- I don't know much about your beliefs and faith (I mean, I was raised catholic, but more referring to you, specifically), but is Christian Mingle a bad idea for you? I've never used the site or seen its interface, but it might be suitable and worth looking into the details.

[frapjap]

This was a surprisingly important thing for myself. I tried to waver on it and I had a long term relationship with one girl that we both were the same faith, but had totally different beliefs and values. We dated off and on for over a year, but every time we broke up it came down to our values and beliefs.

I think it's a given that it's hard to find someone with your exact beliefs, but if you're too different it will come to a head at some point.

Most definitely. I like the morals and values of religion, but don't much care for how intrusive some members of any faith can be.

[elwesso]

I signed up for Christian Mingle (just for free), and I'm not sure I trust that place more than any other site, I think no matter where you go you're going to have the posers so I don't think it's really that necessary to try and single in those demographics. It's not as popular, so I think statistically I've got a better chance on a site that has more traffic. In other words, I'd rather browse through more "fluff" on a more popular site than hope to get lucky and hit a home run on a smaller one. I browsed it enough that I'm skeptical to try it, and reviews online weren't glowing, although in general it seems that most people blame the websites for being slobs, gold diggers, psychos, or overall useless people.. I'm an engineer, so I'm a numbers guy.. Maybe I'll look into it again. At this point in my career, I can afford to and I will be picky. I know the amount of effort having a relationship has, so I'm gonna be dang sure that the effort is worth it.

[Kompresshun]

Most definitely. I like the morals and values of religion, but don't much care for how intrusive some members of any faith can be.

Same here. I don't like anyone sticking their nose too far into my business/personal life and I don't like anyone forcing their beliefs upon me, no matter what it is. I don't do that to people and I expect the same in return. I'm a pretty easy person to get along with for the most part. Even though I can be very opinionated, i'm also very logical and try to be open minded with most things.

At this point in my career, I can afford to and I will be picky. I know the amount of effort having a relationship has, so I'm gonna be dang sure that the effort is worth it.

There's no reason you shouldn't be either. Trying to change yourself, or "settle" just to be with someone is not the way to go. Trust me though, once you find the right person, things will come together a lot quicker than you would think.

[frapjap]

There's no reason you shouldn't be either. Trying to change yourself, or "settle" just to be with someone is not the way to go. Trust me though, once you find the right person, things will come together a lot quicker than you would think.

But it takes two. Both of you have to be in the mindset and be crazy for each other and when it works, it works. And when you know, you know. The best part about the sites are that most of those folks have made up their minds to be there and want to give it a shot. Sure, there are some losers, gold diggers, and general scuzzbags, but you're a smart guy who can discern between all of the trash for the genuine people like yourself.

And then one day, BAM, there is is. Out of the blue clear sky comes a walkin' talkin' true love (thanks George Strait).
Saying love and feeling love are two entirely, crazily different thing. I have never really loved before this.

[frapjap]

Also, this guy might need your help, Wes.
please-someone-help-me-with-my-1995-q45t-t575506.html

[elwesso]

There's no reason you shouldn't be either. Trying to change yourself, or "settle" just to be with someone is not the way to go. Trust me though, once you find the right person, things will come together a lot quicker than you would think.

But it takes two. Both of you have to be in the mindset and be crazy for each other and when it works, it works. And when you know, you know. The best part about the sites are that most of those folks have made up their minds to be there and want to give it a shot. Sure, there are some losers, gold diggers, and general scuzzbags, but you're a smart guy who can discern between all of the trash for the genuine people like yourself.

And then one day, BAM, there is is. Out of the blue clear sky comes a walkin' talkin' true love (thanks George Strait).
Saying love and feeling love are two entirely, crazily different thing. I have never really loved before this.

Maybe it's different with the pay-sites, but it seems that many women get sort of over-burdened with so many messages and getting so many scum-bags?

[Kompresshun]

Unfortunately I think that's something you run into, even if it's not on the internet. Sometimes it's just not the right time and they could be overloaded, or tried of the idiots. Just be genuine and talk to them. Send them a message and introduce yourself, then keep it simple at first with the conversation.

I think you're over-analyzing it my friend. Just hop on there and start looking. If you take it too seriously, you're just going to burden yourself and it's just going to annoy you. If you don't get an answer from a handful of chicks, then don't worry about it. You know how many chicks I texted, messaged, e-mailed and called? A TON. It gets old, but if they ignore you, then don't worry about it - move on to the next one. I got drug along, blew off, ignored, and ect many times. It sucks, but if they want to waste your time, then they're not worth your time.

I had this one girl drag me along for over three months, telling me she liked me, but she was scared to get serious for various reasons. I really liked her a lot though and we got along really well, so I put up with it. All of a sudden she started talking to "an old friend" and a couple of weeks they were dating and all over each other. I was FURIOUS and I chewed her a** out for it too. I was seeing another girl when I first met this girl and I told her I had to stop because I didn't want to hurt this other girls feelings. So, you can see where that one got me. Moral of the story: If they drag you along for more than a few weeks, move on. It's their loss if they don't want to put an effort into trying.

I could tell you stories for hours though. Honestly though - I HATED DATING. IT SUCKED. I hope I never, ever have to do it again. When it comes down to it though, all of the s***, stress, and heartache was more than worth it for what I have now. I have a kickass wife.

[Ace2cool]

SO MUCH OLD PEOPLE TALK IN HERE!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuIe3TZzFZk[/youtube]

LAMBORGHINI OFFROAD!

[elwesso]

Unfortunately I think that's something you run into, even if it's not on the internet. Sometimes it's just not the right time and they could be overloaded, or tried of the idiots. Just be genuine and talk to them. Send them a message and introduce yourself, then keep it simple at first with the conversation.

I think you're over-analyzing it my friend. Just hop on there and start looking. If you take it too seriously, you're just going to burden yourself and it's just going to annoy you. If you don't get an answer from a handful of chicks, then don't worry about it. You know how many chicks I texted, messaged, e-mailed and called? A TON. It gets old, but if they ignore you, then don't worry about it - move on to the next one. I got drug along, blew off, ignored, and ect many times. It sucks, but if they want to waste your time, then they're not worth your time.

I had this one girl drag me along for over three months, telling me she liked me, but she was scared to get serious for various reasons. I really liked her a lot though and we got along really well, so I put up with it. All of a sudden she started talking to "an old friend" and a couple of weeks they were dating and all over each other. I was FURIOUS and I chewed her a** out for it too. I was seeing another girl when I first met this girl and I told her I had to stop because I didn't want to hurt this other girls feelings. So, you can see where that one got me. Moral of the story: If they drag you along for more than a few weeks, move on. It's their loss if they don't want to put an effort into trying.

I could tell you stories for hours though. Honestly though - I HATED DATING. IT SUCKED. I hope I never, ever have to do it again. When it comes down to it though, all of the bullsh*t, stress, and heartache was more than worth it for what I have now. I have a kickass wife.

Thanks Chris, for me over-analysis is the name of the game... I am an engineer, so I'm trained to over-analyze everything and throw out all the what-if's..

[elwesso]

Ace that is freaking bad-arse.. That thing sounds amazing. That doesn't seem like a regular rally track because it seems like most have a lot more undulations, if so that thing would have definitely been bottoming out something fierce.

[Ace2cool]

Yeah, it's more a gravel road, but it's 10x cooler of a video than the guy that did it with an Enzo.

Obligatory link:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-4v4I7Gzk0[/youtube]

[float_6969]

I have no issues with online dating. I met my wife on Match.com 8 years ago. It turned out we lived just a few blocks away from each other. Best first date of my life and I knew she was "the one".

I went on there because I got tired of trying to meet girls at bars, and had dated all of the co-workers and friends friends that I was interested in. None of them worked out.

Don't discount it. I think it's a great way to meet people.

[Ace2cool]

STOP TALKING ABOUT OLD PEOPLE STUFF AND POST VIDEOS OF AWESOME CARS OR PICS OF AWESOME CARS OR TALK ABOUT AWESOME CARS!

[sx moneypit]

Good morning! TGIF!!!

[float_6969]

STOP TALKING ABOUT OLD PEOPLE STUFF AND POST VIDEOS OF AWESOME CARS OR PICS OF AWESOME CARS OR TALK ABOUT AWESOME CARS!

You little whipper snapper! So you want some car pics eh?

[Hijacker]

Morning!

So I found Nissan charges $13 for a dumb washer to mount the rear upright of a Z to the RLCA.

[frapjap]

Morning fellas. Cool car pic huh? How about an epic drag race?

[WDRacing]

Good morning! TGIF!!!

I hear that buddy! Anyone watch the Bruins game last night? Overtime wins fuking rock! Buddy and I tried to drink Buffalo Wild Wings out of beer...we failed, but we must have been close.